Some bittersweet news . . .

My cousin and BM just found out she is pregnant. She will be 7 months preggo at my wedding. She generally does not have the greatest pregnancies and is always sick for nearly 100% of her pregnancies. She is a big girl to begin with and with the pregnancy on top of it, she gets anxiety attacks, can't breath and gets very dizzy- especially in summer months. She is still going to be my bridesmaid in my heart and in every sense of the word except she will not be in a dress walking down the aisle. I am so sad, but this is really what is best for her health. She will still be at my wedding, just having to wear a gown, walk down the aisle, ride in a limo and deal with the craziness of pictures in the heat is just going to be too much for her.

But the good news is that I am going to be the godmother! She asked me tonight! I am so excited! I can't believe I am going to be a GODMOTHER!!!!!


I am so sad and happy at the same time!!!!



Is it cheesey that I still want to consider her as my bridesmaid even if she won't be walking down the aisle and wearing a BM dress? I still want her to be involved in all of the bridal party events (bachelorette party, shower) Is it silly that I list her as an honorary bridesmaid on the program?

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can still recognize her as a BM (during the introductions, ceremony . . . anything?) This may sound ridiculous, but we are both very sad about this, but know it is really what is best for her well being . . .

Re: Some bittersweet news . . .

Can you ask her to do a reading? That won't be nearly as anxiety provoking.

Re: Some bittersweet news . . .

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Posted by Goldi1021

Can you ask her to do a reading? That won't be nearly as anxiety provoking.

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I was thinking of this, but she will be very nervous- she hates public speaking

Re: Some bittersweet news . . .

You should definitely have her as an honorary bm if you want her to be. I can see maybe having a dedicated song for her and her husband to maybe dance to, that is if she will be able to. Or maybe make a little speech to let her know how much she means to you. Oh and congrats on being a godmother-to-be:)

Re: Some bittersweet news . . .

What about presenting the gifts. I don't know much about Catholic ceremonies as I am Jewish but its a thought.

Re: Some bittersweet news . . .

I think she could totally still be considered a bridesmaid. maybe she can get a dress the same color as the rest of the bridesmaids, and you can still have her announced as one during the reception.

Re: Some bittersweet news . . .

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Posted by designerbride

I think she could totally still be considered a bridesmaid. maybe she can get a dress the same color as the rest of the bridesmaids, and you can still have her announced as one during the reception.

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Well at this rate her dress is ordered and the dress place is giving a hard time about getting her money back. They are still making her pay for the entire cost even though she only left a deposit (by check) the dress was only ordered 2 weeks ago so it's not like it has been made yet

Looks like she might be stuck with this dress (which is a very uncomfortable dress for a preggo woman)


Maybe she will be able to get a dress in the same color, but I won't bring that up unless she gets her money back (we are calling again today)

I still want her to be introduced as one during the reception- that is a great idea!

Re: Some bittersweet news . . .

a wedding i went to last summer, one of the groomsmen is military and was not sure he could get leave- he made it but did not wear the tux - they still had him in the program and had him say grace

Re: Some bittersweet news . . .

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Posted by BriBri529

Is it cheesey that I still want to consider her as my bridesmaid even if she won't be walking down the aisle and wearing a BM dress? I still want her to be involved in all of the bridal party events (bachelorette party, shower) Is it silly that I list her as an honorary bridesmaid on the program?

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can still recognize her as a BM (during the introductions, ceremony . . . anything?) This may sound ridiculous, but we are both very sad about this, but know it is really what is best for her well being . . .

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First of all, CONGRATS on being a godmother! That's so wonderful! Second, it's not at all cheesy to do what you want to do. I would definitely still invite her and keep her in the loop with all activities, and definitely still list her in the program. I also agree with introducing her at the reception. If speaking in public is stressful for her, you may not want to have her do a reading or say grace, but maybe she can pass out programs or something along those lines.

Re: Some bittersweet news . . .

I went through the same thing. My BM was going to be 8 mos PG at my wedding and we both decided it was for the best that she not be technically in the BP. But she was very much a part of everything else. I listed her in the program, she got ready with us the morning of the wedding, she was in charge of several other things including the guestbook, table cameras, collecting the bouquets, etc. She attended the bachelorette party, she was in on all the E-mails and wedding planning correspondence, and she received a BP gift just like all the other BMs.

I tried very hard to keep her included in everything and even though I missed her being an actual BM, it worked out in the end.

Re: Some bittersweet news . . .

Sure, why not include her in another way, too? Maybe she can be your 'day of' person- like make sure you have what you need for the bridal suite, your emergency kit, your purse, money bag, etc. Sometimes the BMs forget about this stuff because they are getting dressed and hair and makeup done themselves. I am not a fan of being a BM, but I always tell my friends, 'I will watch the purses!' LOL.

Maybe she could hand out programs, bubbles or whatever you are throwing (if anything) and bring up the gifts if she would be too shy to do a reading. Other than the day of, I would still include her for the shower, bachelorette party and all the other pre-wedding stuff. Congrats on being a godmother- it is wonderful!

Re: Some bittersweet news . . .

Congratulations on becoming a Godmother! As far as your sister is concerned--I'd say you could honor her in ANY way you chose fitting--either as an 'honorary' bridesmaid, special thank you, whatever in your program!

Re: Some bittersweet news . . .

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Posted by designerbride

I think she could totally still be considered a bridesmaid. maybe she can get a dress the same color as the rest of the bridesmaids, and you can still have her announced as one during the reception.

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Thats a good idea and yes, listed in the program as well!