Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

Original post by JCMsGirl05

Sep 05, 2005 12:33 PM

Last week I sent out an email to all of my BM saying that they should start making fitting appointments, what shoes, some day of details, etc.

This morning I got a response from one of the girls saying that she couldn't be in my wedding.

THERE ARE LESS THAN TWO MONTHS LEFT AT THIS POINT!

She asked me to be in her wedding and at the time, I was out of work for several months with an injury and couldn't afford to be in her wedding and let her know it 7 months prior to her wedding and before dresses or anything been ordered. Bear in mind that her wedding was 2 weeks ago and I went and gave a gift. I also went to her shower and offered to help her with anything else she needed help with on several occassions leading to her wedding.

I am so mad that she did this and I told her so. There was no reason given and I am owed an explanation. I feel like she used me to come to her wedding and make her minimum and have me give a gift. She must have known 2 weeks ago that she planned on backing out of my wedding, but she let me believe all was fine.

I am more mad at this point since she should know better than anyone having just gone through this process that people lay out money for BP gifts, etc. and I have done that at this point.

I would have understood had she done this in a timely manner, but I now I just feel used. Maybe she made me come to her wedding and give her a gift so that her dress for my wedding would be paid for? I just don't get it.

Sorry this is so long, I just had to vent to people who would understand.

JCMsGirl05 Posted: Sep 05, 2005 02:00 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

If there is more to it then, I would like to know what it is. Looks to me like you made up this name to answer this post? Hmmm.

MasticBride1209 Posted: Sep 05, 2005 02:03 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

maybe I'm just a fair minded person, who doesnt believe people do mean spirited spiteful things for no good reason

JCMsGirl05 Posted: Sep 05, 2005 02:06 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

Thanks for your opinion, but I know this person.

JCMsGirl05 Posted: Sep 05, 2005 04:18 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

DMcK Posted: Sep 05, 2005 04:40 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

I'm sorry that your BM dropped out but for her to do so late in the game makes me wonder - did you guys have a falling out? Did something go wrong involving your role in her wedding?

Sounds like your best bet is to let go and move on. You have your wedding now to look forward to and I am sure that will be great.

JCMsGirl05 Posted: Sep 05, 2005 06:04 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

Thanks. Sadly enough, she is on this site. You would think she knows how it feels to be screwed over and wouldn't let herself to it to someone else! One thing I have learned about planning a wedding, is that people you think you can count on sometimes disappoint us and then others come out of the woodwork and help you out more than you expected. Its sad that someone I valued, is so miserable with her own life that she tried to make my wedding miserable. Her loss, not mine. Time to cut my losses.
Thanks to all for your kind words.

Happybride2005 Posted: Sep 05, 2005 06:12 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

do u think u 2 could talk this over. i'm sure she had a beautiful wedding and she would want your wedding to be just as beautiful

JCMsGirl05 Posted: Sep 05, 2005 06:40 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

Nothing we could talk over at this point. I feel like she used me and then did this spitefully. I did the right thing.

Mrs_B Posted: Sep 05, 2005 07:55 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

Posted by MasticBride1209

it does suck that this was done to you so close to your wedding, but like everything in life there are 2 sides to every story. It doesnt make sense that she would even pay the money for her BM dress, knowing how every penny counts when planning your own wedding. It seems to me that we are not getting the whole story here.

Welcome to the site!

SummerBride06 Posted: Sep 05, 2005 07:59 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

you really need to sit down with her and talk to her.

if she's on this site, why are you airing her dirty laundry? maybe it's just me, and i totally understand you're upset, but if johnny&maur started bashing her MOH (me) on a thread not only would i be crying my eyes out but i'd be furious that she was writing it without talking with me first.

with that said, best of luck to you both. hopefully you can save your friendship. you both asked each other to be in your weddings for a reason, hopefully you can still be friends

MasticBride1209 Posted: Sep 05, 2005 08:08 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

thanks for the welcome.

JCMsGirl05 Posted: Sep 05, 2005 08:14 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

I didn't say who she is. That would be airing her 'dirty laundry' as you put it. I think what she has done is disgusting. I have no respect for her anymore and I think she should know that. As for coming on here, I wanted to share which is the reason for this site to begin with. Someone who is your friend can end up screwing you over in the end. We LIVE AND LEARN.

MasticBride1209 Posted: Sep 05, 2005 08:18 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

i cant believe this is still going on. is that what this site is about? I know I'm new but I thought it was about womaen being happy and helping each other out? Am I wrong?

Happybride2005 Posted: Sep 05, 2005 08:20 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

did she tell u the reason she had to drop out

DMcK Posted: Sep 05, 2005 08:42 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

Honestly, I find it mean sprited that you would post this about a bride here without resolving it with her first. That seems downright nasty to me. No matter what, if you were friends were someone, why would you ever post such hurtful things about them, knowing that she will read the post and people's responses even though the people will react without knowing BOTH sides of the story? Obviously, she has not publically 'outed' the situation. Even if you are no longer friends, the fact that you would even do this makes it less hard to believe why she would drop out...

Happybride2005 Posted: Sep 05, 2005 08:44 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

Posted by DMcK

Honestly, I find it mean sprited that you would post this about a bride here without resolving it with her first. That seems downright nasty to me. No matter what, if you were friends were someone, why would you ever post such hurtful things about them, knowing that she will read the post and people's responses even though the people will react without knowing BOTH sides of the story? Obviously, she has not publically 'outed' the situation. Even if you are no longer friends, the fact that you would even do this makes it less hard to believe why she would drop out...

i agree. its good to talk this over. get things out in the open

SPITSBRIDE Posted: Sep 05, 2005 10:29 PM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

Honestly, I'm speechless....she has A LOT of nerve doing that to you...you nor anyone deserves that kind of treatment from anyone.

Hang in there

JCMsGirl05 Posted: Sep 06, 2005 06:37 AM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

Maybe what some people don't understand is that there is nothing to resolve. Someone doesn't back out of your wedding this close to it without explaining themselves. And even if they do explain, there is no getting over it and moving on with a friendship. If I had screwed her over this close to her wedding then I would say its just payback, but I was there for her and did what I had to do as her friend since I was unable to be in her BP. As far as this person being a member on this site, I think it just makes it worse that she would do this, knowing very well how much work a wedding is to put together.

We will not be sitting down to talk this out.

Ang&Rich Posted: Sep 06, 2005 10:03 AM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

Posted by DMcK

Honestly, I find it mean sprited that you would post this about a bride here without resolving it with her first. That seems downright nasty to me. No matter what, if you were friends were someone, why would you ever post such hurtful things about them, knowing that she will read the post and people's responses even though the people will react without knowing BOTH sides of the story? Obviously, she has not publically 'outed' the situation. Even if you are no longer friends, the fact that you would even do this makes it less hard to believe why she would drop out...

I agree. Especially if both people are on this site as the original poster was clear to mention. Why would you bring it over here? It is understandable to be upset but to try to trash someone is inexcusable. I find it hard to comment on the BM that dropped out as we do not know the whole story. If you are looking for someone to give advice on how to move on then fine...it's happened before and you can get a lot of great advice on how to ask someone else with such short notice or how to rearrange the bridal party. But if you are looking for people to bash the other person - especially without knowing the full story but knowing she is on this site then I suggest that you look elsewhere.

JCMsGirl05 Posted: Sep 06, 2005 10:46 AM

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

Wasn't looking to trash anyone. She did that to herself. What she did was just wrong and I am pissed about it with GOOD reason.

I don't need to replace her. I'm better off without her at this point, but she could have backed out tactfully and without waiting this long. Like I said, I gave her plenty of notice and a good reason.