Ladies, Just need to pour my heart out for some reason. Sorry this will be long.
Looking back on this past year, I am still amazed that I survived Wedding Planning without having a nervous breakdown.
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I think we all underestimate the rollercoaster of emotions those last few months can bring. Whoever said planning a wedding was fun must have been insane
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Actually, the planning WAS fun but the drama it brings was NOT. During one of those moments when I literally thought I was going to rip my hair out (or someone else's!!!!), a friend of mine said.....'once it's over, you'll miss it!'.....and now it's over and I don't miss it. I do not miss everyone's 2 cents, I do not miss everyone telling me how it should be done, I do not miss rushing around every night to the point that I was exhausted, I do not miss fighting with DH over guest lists, I do not miss blowing every penny in my bank account or obsessing over hair, makeup, dresses, flowers, limo's, cake, menu's, cardbox, invites, favors, etc. etc. I can honestly say, I would never do it again!!! I'm trying to be as honest as possible b/c I wish someone had explained this all to me when I was planning. Looking back on all the craziness.....I fast forward to my Wedding Day which still brings tears to my eyes.....it was worth every second of craziness.
There were so many times that I literally threw myself on my bed and sobbed my heart out. One thing I have learned from being on this site is that it's not just me, we all have our struggles....some worse than others.....at times you may just want to call the whole thing off. I just want to say, cry it out and then push thru it. I look back on it all and I feel it was worth it b/c it paid off in the end. There are a few things I want to say in this extremely long post:
1) Don't get obsessed with the minor details. My BM explained to me that guests will only notice a a quarter of the things you do and expecting any more of them is asking too much. Specifically, things like menu's: I remember I spent 2 weeks designing my menu's. Then....we shopped for special paper, ordered starfish, glued them on, cut each one....I was SO PROUD of myself in the end. I just have to say that not one person commented on them
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so I asked a few people and nobody even remembered. Seriously, don't obsess over it.
2) Don't go crazy spending alot of money on a hall and then extra for special food and drinks and favors, etc. etc. It gets really expensive and once it's over, you'll wish you had gone cheaper. I think less then 50% of our guests covered their plates. Yea, I know that's not what it's all about but they would have enjoyed themselves even if I didn't have that extra AHI TUNA!!!!! and I WOULD HAVE ENJOYED having a few extra dollars for a downpayment on a house.
3) Don't expect too much of people. Don't expect everyone to be excited for you at all times. BM's and your mom and sister and BF all have a life. They've got their own things going on so don't get upset when they don't ooh and aahh every time your wedding comes up. I was so disappointed in my family and friends over some things to the point that I cried over it. Most people will not go 'out of their way' to make you feel special. ((Notice I said MOST)),
4) Don't spend crazy money on invitations. They go in the garbage......seriously. Definitely not worth it.
5) Don't ask people to be in your bridal party b/c you think you 'HAVE' to. They will disappoint you and you'll regret it. Ask fun people who are genuinely happy for you.
6) Don't fight with FH over stupid issues. If he wants a hummer limo or doesn't want to wear a flower on his tux, let it go. Nobody will care and it will make him happy.
7) Stop caring what other people think. Seriously.....stop right now!!!! It's not worth it. If you want hot pink shoes or a pink sash on your dress or to do your own hair then DO IT!!!!!!! If you don't want kids at your wedding, dont have kids at your wedding! If you want to dance to Motley Crue then dance to it............SKREW everyone else, it's your day and if you are smiling, everyone else will be.
8) Learn how to smile and ignore. I had so many arguments with my mom or family over what they thought was 'the right thing to do' with my wedding. I wish I learned earlier how to smile and say 'yea good idea!' and then do it MY WAY! I would have saved myself a ton of stress.
9) Don't get distressed over what your MIL or anyone else is wearing. They will be in limited pics and if they wanna look like a fool, it only makes you look better. Seriously, leave it alone.
10) I cannot stress this enough......you do not have as much time as you think. Once you hit the 100 day mark, it comes in the blink of an eye. Do everything you can NOW. It's not too early to do your favors, or veil, shoes, DOJ, wedding day undies, day of bag, etc.etc. Do it now ,as much as u can. Set a deadline for 30 days before because the month of your wedding is INSANITY! Between your rehearsal dinner and responses and seating arrangements, picking up your dress, packing for honeymoon.....get it all done before hand. Even wrapping your BM's and GM's gifts, what are you waiting for?? Finish it up! I wish I did. I ran myself ragged and fell seriously ill the week of my wedding!!!!!!!!
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I was in the doctor's office the day before and they had to put me on STEROIDS just to get me well enough for my wedding day. I got lucky they worked. Im saying it again, get your stuff done ASAP. Do NOT Procrastinate.
11) For those that have lost a parent. My father passed away in 1997 and I miss him dearly. I bawled my eyes out the day before and promised myself I wouldn't let it ruin my Wedding Day. Designate a 'Go To' person that you know will make you smile if you feel like you're going to start crying. I know you love and miss your departed, but this is your wedding day and you deserve to be happy. I am a really strong person and as I was about to walk down the aisle...I started to lose it. Luckily, my brother noticed and threatened to trip me. Don't let it consume you. I don't mean to sound cold, but you have your groom waiting for you and he wants to see your smiling face. Nobody will understand how hard it is to keep your composure unless you lost a parent. Not having them there that day is a huge void.....but that's not the day to obsess over it. That day is for you and FH.
Well....I have tons more to say but I feel like i'm being annoying. I hope some of you can learn from my experiences. Sorry so long and if anyone wants to talk about any of this, please FM me. XOXO
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