Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

Xelindrya Posted: May 28, 2004 03:54 PM

Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

BAH
I hate my stepmother. Normally I wouldnt really be that upset from a call saying 'We're getting divorced' but you see.. I want my Dad at my wedding. Without the wench he can't afford it.

So.. I had to tap dance like a son of a gun with both of them.. BSing her.. talking my Dad through what to say and not say. (Why do some men act so stupid when they're wrong).

Got my mom (i call her that) on the phone a few times. Finally got her sniffling and crying. She loves Dad, she loves me but she's angry (and may I say rightfully so).

Who knows whats gonna happen.

When I called she was packing her stuff up to go back to Texas (though no one realized she has no way to GET there) and he was determined there was nothing he could say to stop her. She was spitting angry.

When I hung up, she was crying and sad, but FINALLY quiet and not screaming at the top of her lungs. He was humble and apologetic but apprehensive. (good combo when you screw up this badly).

*sigh*

We'll see what happens.

Should I mention there's three kids who would be devestated if this happens? Not because they care for her, but her income helps them live good lives.

Kriss2c Posted: May 28, 2004 04:03 PM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

BMD'sPeanut Posted: May 28, 2004 04:04 PM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

no shooting!!!!

Valentinegirl Posted: May 28, 2004 04:07 PM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

aliciahelene Posted: May 28, 2004 04:12 PM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

Xelindrya Posted: May 28, 2004 04:15 PM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

I know it sounds selfish and cold and flaky but..

All i want is my Dad to walk me down the aisle. I don't care who has to do what to make it happen either. *shrug*

FeliciaDA Posted: May 28, 2004 04:20 PM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

Posted by Xelindrya

I know it sounds selfish and cold and flaky but..

All i want is my Dad to walk me down the aisle. I don't care who has to do what to make it happen either. *shrug*

you don't sound selfish .. i can imagine how important it is for your Dad to walk you down the aisle!

i cannot offer much advice , just lots of these

HearzBellz Posted: May 28, 2004 07:30 PM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

It's not selfish X....just a bizzare twist on what most perceive to be reality....I would have done the same thing.

1017Bride Posted: May 28, 2004 07:55 PM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

I know you guys don't get along but from what you said you did the right thing.

[email protected] Posted: May 29, 2004 08:42 AM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

I'm glad your parents are staying together, but I do not agree on the reasons you did it...

Xelindrya Posted: May 29, 2004 09:40 AM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

Posted by [email protected]

I'm glad your parents are staying together, but I do not agree on the reasons you did it...

You're so sweet.

I know you have a great and loving heart. Trust me, there's a lot more to this than just dislike. Without any of the history I can see how it may look coldhearted. I'd agree with you mostly. But I lived under that roof and endured many things.

That woman has very little right to breath much less be married to a gullible loon like my dad and a really doesn't deserve to have children in her supervision.

Life is strange though. We have to play with the cards dealt. I still hope at one point in the future they do divorce. My father is half the man he used to be and is greatly mistreated and abused by her. There's alway more than what is generally seen.

You are kind and good hearted though. I understand your feelings.

cluelessbride Posted: May 29, 2004 10:08 AM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

You have a lot on your shoulders!

[email protected] Posted: May 29, 2004 11:27 AM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

If she is that cruel, then maybe they should be divorced? My parents are divorced and it was for more than just the best. I don't mean to be judgemental, but if money is the only issue (and a major factor of your need for her), I would speak to your father immediately following the wedding about kicking her to the curb!

Xelindrya Posted: Jun 09, 2004 10:24 AM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

Posted by [email protected]

If she is that cruel, then maybe they should be divorced? My parents are divorced and it was for more than just the best. I don't mean to be judgemental, but if money is the only issue (and a major factor of your need for her), I would speak to your father immediately following the wedding about kicking her to the curb!

AMEN

If my father didnt have the 3 kids I'd push hard for the divorce. But he does and so I know it would be really hard on him without her extra money. Doesnt mean I support it. I mean my dad is YOUNG he's only 52 and hasn't worked since I was 12 .... Get a job! But it's my Dad, what can I say. I love the big goof.

Ok... Update

Things are getting better. Dad's still in the dog house but wedding plans are back on - meaning they're coming.

Since Jim & I got free round trip tickets out of our last trip and they are transferable, we're keeping them handy just in case we need to use them for my Dad & Sister to come up. I've already my brother coming up on my American Airlines free ticket (milage).

She thinks I'm her friend. Calls me with all the dirt on my Dad. I play the part and so forth then call my Dad later and we talk about whats what.

God, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO glad Im in NY and not with them!!! Never a day goes by that I remember I am not 'home' sick. I miss Texas and they now live in Iowa, but I am NOT sick enough to want to live near them again!!!

Kriss2c Posted: Jun 09, 2004 10:49 AM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

Chloegirl Posted: Jun 09, 2004 10:59 AM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

After reading your story...I feel like your dad should move on...life is too short to be unhappy...there is great happiness awaiting him and he should find it.

I say the above because I had a similar situation. I had an evil step mother too. She hated me and was jealous of my relationship with my dad....mind you my dad raised me all by himself...so we were very close.

My dad realized about 2 yrs into the marriage that she was the devil but stayed with her. He didnt want to have a second failed marriage.

Sadly my dad passed away a few years ago...evil step mom took everything...and I have not spoken to her since the funeral.
I only wish my dad had gotten rid of this woman and lived a happier life his last few years here with us. He had a stroke and I cant help but feel that this woman had a hand in that.

JuneBride2005 Posted: Jun 09, 2004 10:04 PM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

brideinapril Posted: Jun 10, 2004 08:14 AM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

I feel really bad for your dad. As one poster said - Life is to short to live in an unhappy environment. After the wedding, maybe put the wheels in motion to get him out of there!

tourist Posted: Jun 10, 2004 09:42 AM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

Well, I'm glad they are coming. That's smart of you to save the tickets for them.
If they did get divorced after the wedding, would there be anyway she would end paying child supprt for the kids? Or would they have joint custody or something?

Xelindrya Posted: Jun 10, 2004 10:04 AM

Re: Somebody shoot me. I think I just talked my parents out of divorce

Posted by tourist

Well, I'm glad they are coming. That's smart of you to save the tickets for them.
If they did get divorced after the wedding, would there be anyway she would end paying child supprt for the kids? Or would they have joint custody or something?

No way in hell she can take the kids. She has two counts of child abuse on record. It came up during the adoption proceedings.

The kids are actually legally my father’s. I am usually the one listed as Guardian when they go to school. I doubt I am anymore since I’m not in the same state.

This woman is also legally blind. Glaucoma. She knew it was coming but never took care of it. She let it go and paid the price. She’s had multiple surgeries on her eyes and the pressure still builds.

- She can’t see so caring for them would be difficult.
- She can’t really work (no formal education and last time they tested her she’s in the range of a 7th grader’s - knowledge base/education)
- She has multiple child abuse counts on her from me and others
- She has no where to really live or support the children

Dad has:
- The house
- The income (SS and VA disability)
- Clean record and legal guardianship
- Dang it.. he can work just too lazy
- Has mostly a college degree (missing Algebra & Bio)

Plus the kids are all old enough now to make their own decision (13 & 14) and I guarantee you there’s no WAY they’d choose her over my Dad.