I was manning a table at a walk today, and I was eating a bagel with soy cream cheese - I only eat bagels on the weekend - my little treat...
Anyway, it's a big bagel, and I was taking a bite, and this older woman I have known for a few years laughs and says to me, 'I thought brides are supposed to be very thin!'
I couldn't even answer... Later on I gave FH the other half of my bagel, and he asked me why... I couldn't even answer him...
Then he said - is it because of what Pat said? I didn't even think he heard...
I went to the bathroom and cried....
Am I over reacting? I have worked really hard on losing the 30 pounds I gained a few years ago when I was depressed, and I finally was happy with the way I looked - I cried later to FH because it made me feel like I wasn't going to be a beautiful bride because I am not 'very' thin - I mean, I am between a size 4-6 - I am not heavy anymore... He told me that i will be a very beautiful bride, and people compliment me all the time - but soemtimes it seems like no matter what 100 people say, what 1 person stupidly says can really hurt, you know?
Sorry - I just need some encouragement and nice words....
lipglossjunky73
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
Posted by palebride
Before my wedding, I also lost about 30 pounds....and people would say the rudest things to me....thinking they were complimenting me. Examples: 'Oh, I didn't recognize you...I don't' think I've ever seen you skinny' and 'Wow, you don't look as fat as you do in that picture' I think that sometimes people feel more comfortable commenting on people's weight when they're thin...as obnoxious as the comments might be...
So, if you think about it that way....it could have been a compliment from her because she thought you were thin enough that she could comment on your weight.....
you know - its funny that you said that - I was wondering - if I were REALLY heavy, would she have said that comment?
Also - at a meeting, a woman told me not to only eat 1 cookie because I have a dress to fit into, and for some reason it didn't bother me so much - maybe because it wasnt a direct comment about my weight... I don't know - its weird - I know what you mean, pale, about people commenting on weight - it always seems to be a subject in my family (hence my issues...!
MrsP2Be
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
I have lost about 40 pounds in the last year+ and it's my mother who keeps saying things that hurt.
Like she'll pat my tummy or butt and say 'it's STILL pretty big!' She thinks it's her job, but it still hurts.
Beach-e-bride
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
I know what you mean-- thanks for writing to me about the evil dressmaker and the 'gordita' comment. People can be so mean-- they dont realize that one comment they make can ruin your whole day or weekend--- I swear ive eaten nothing but salads since the stupid comment i heard and i know im not fat. We just need to ignore the stupid people of the world and wish evil thoughts on them
bride2b24
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
OMG LIZA! im so sorry this rude that rude b*&*** said that to you! thats ridiculous! some people have no clue what they are talking about and chances are shes not so thin herself adn just jealous......dont let it get to you
Dina
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
seriously, what a jerk! I would kill to be a size 4...
October Bliss
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
Liza - sh@t like that is the reason my mother told my grandmother she couldn't come to my wedding. She lives in Florida and doesn't get to NY that often (and I don't go visit). Between 2000-2004 I gained 30 pounds. I started WW in August 2004 and lost it all. My grandmother was here in June 2005 and she patted my stomach and made a remark about how fat I had gotten since the last time she saw me, and asked if I was sure I wasn't pregnant. Mind you, my grandmother NEVER saw me between 2000-2004, so I was the same size as the last time she had seen me, but she is the type of person who NEVER misses an opportunity to put you down.
Don't let that woman get to you - she is completely insignficant.
lipglossjunky73
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
Thanks ladies!!!
lipglossjunky73
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
I do have to say you guys are making me feel better - i am sorry you all have gone thru these experiences yourselves - they are never fun, but its good to know I'm not alone with this - something about being a woman, I think....
October Bliss
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I do have to say you guys are making me feel better - i am sorry you all have gone thru these experiences yourselves - they are never fun, but its good to know I'm not alone with this - something about being a woman, I think....
I'm glad we're making you feel better!! Of course, none of us wants to go through this kind of nonsense, but IMHO, it helps us to appreciate our own accomplishments, and makes us stronger women for the experience. You know what they say - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
MrsP2Be
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
My mother just spoke to my FMIL on the phone and I heard her say that I used to be thinner before I started dating her son!
Marisa M
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
I was a size 10 Bride and I looked DAMN good in that gown !!!!! (Even if I do say so myself!)
Older women are obsessed w/ 'young' girls being thin. - I don't know what it is, but who gives a sh*t ?? You Specifially said YOU are happy with the way you look - so whether you're a size 4 or 14 - If YOU feel beautiful, you'll LOOK beautiful !
ETA I just peeked at your album and you look GREAT in your gown !! ...and I had the same shoes - LOVE them !!
jeanla4c
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
UGH...some people!!! You are tiny and you know what even if you weren't, all brides are beautiful since they are marrying the love of their life and just GLOW on their wedding day! I heard you though, I let people get to me when it is THEIR issue, not yours!
BJandDan
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
and yet another person that needs a swift kick in the butt!!!!!!!!!!!!
lipglossjunky73
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
Posted by Marisa M
I was a size 10 Bride and I looked DAMN good in that gown !!!!! (Even if I do say so myself!)
Older women are obsessed w/ 'young' girls being thin. - I don't know what it is, but who gives a sh*t ?? You Specifially said YOU are happy with the way you look - so whether you're a size 4 or 14 - If YOU feel beautiful, you'll LOOK beautiful !
ETA I just peeked at your album and you look GREAT in your gown !! ...and I had the same shoes - LOVE them !!
pavum
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
I saw your shower pictures and I thought you looked PERFECT
don't let someone being silly mess up your day
ENJOY your bagel. you deserve it!
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
Seriously, a 4/6 is so small! I'm an 8/10, and used to be much heavier, so I know how you feel. Don't listen to her. Some older people think they can say what they want just because they are old and you have to respect them. So NOT true! I just looked in your album and you look gorgeous in your dress!!
evnme
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lipglossjunky73
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
ladies - you rock in so many ways.... you have no idea!!!
MrsR72806
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Re: Someone made me cry today...
Seriously, I don't understand why people, especially women focus so much on weight! I mean can't we eat a bagel or a cookie or two with out feeling guilty! Don't worry, You will be a beautiful bride!!!! I used to be a size 3 (b4 i dated FH) But I'm now a 6...and you know what? I look DAMN GOOD in my dress! Can't wait to get in it! Who wants to look like a skeleton anyways? Don't sweat it hun! All brides are beautiful
