Someone made me cry today...

Original post by lipglossjunky73

May 07, 2006 01:06 PM

I was manning a table at a walk today, and I was eating a bagel with soy cream cheese - I only eat bagels on the weekend - my little treat...

Anyway, it's a big bagel, and I was taking a bite, and this older woman I have known for a few years laughs and says to me, 'I thought brides are supposed to be very thin!'

I couldn't even answer... Later on I gave FH the other half of my bagel, and he asked me why... I couldn't even answer him...

Then he said - is it because of what Pat said? I didn't even think he heard...

I went to the bathroom and cried....

Am I over reacting? I have worked really hard on losing the 30 pounds I gained a few years ago when I was depressed, and I finally was happy with the way I looked - I cried later to FH because it made me feel like I wasn't going to be a beautiful bride because I am not 'very' thin - I mean, I am between a size 4-6 - I am not heavy anymore... He told me that i will be a very beautiful bride, and people compliment me all the time - but soemtimes it seems like no matter what 100 people say, what 1 person stupidly says can really hurt, you know?

Sorry - I just need some encouragement and nice words....

petunia77 Posted: May 07, 2006 07:33 PM

Re: Someone made me cry today...

f**k that! what a mean spirited and hurtful thing to say! first of all, i hope you don't believe it, and second of all, i hope that the media has not warped us so much that we consider a size 4 or 6 overweight.

Goldi1021 Posted: May 07, 2006 07:37 PM

Re: Someone made me cry today...

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by sr081906

You are not 'big' at all. Did she mean you had to be a 'bag of bone'?

Don't worry about it!!!

i don't know what she meant!

My FH said that I am a fat girl inside a skinny body, so things like that always seem to get to me....

I agree with him...

I can relate to that statement. I still feel like a heavy person in a slim body. I was once a size 24 (now an 8-10) at 260 pounds and when people comment on what and how I eat or make cracks about being heavy, It hurts. I am sorry this person hurt your feelings.

lipglossjunky73 Posted: May 07, 2006 07:38 PM

Re: Someone made me cry today...

Thank you Lesli - I remember you saying you were once heavy - I nevre met you, but in all of your pics, you really do look wonderful!

Goldi1021 Posted: May 07, 2006 07:43 PM

Re: Someone made me cry today...

Thanks. The pain never goes away though. I still pick up sizes that are too big for me. I thurts when people make fun of others. The taunts play over and over in my head so I know how you must have felt. Sometimes, not matter how successful you've been, it never feels like enough.

lipglossjunky73 Posted: May 07, 2006 07:45 PM

Re: Someone made me cry today...

Yes - you are so right... in fact, it can be the slightest hint that I am eating too much, a little too big, whatever... it reaslly stinks - and I have more confidence now than i ever did!

VadersBride2006 Posted: May 07, 2006 07:57 PM

Re: Someone made me cry today...

You know, sometimes it's done out of jealousy...

Personally, I think a size 4-6 is super tiny. And I can say that, since I'm a 14-16... not that I'm proud of it....

But whatever.... I am what I am...

ewickens Posted: May 07, 2006 07:59 PM

Re: Someone made me cry today...

OOHH, Liza!! You are beautiful no matter what anyone says and you will be a stunning bride!!!!

BRIDEMICHELE Posted: May 07, 2006 08:00 PM

Re: Someone made me cry today...

Sounds like that woman is jelous!!! Don't think about her for another minute.

palebride Posted: May 07, 2006 08:26 PM

Re: Someone made me cry today...

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by palebride

Before my wedding, I also lost about 30 pounds....and people would say the rudest things to me....thinking they were complimenting me.
Examples: 'Oh, I didn't recognize you...I don't' think I've ever seen you skinny'
and
'Wow, you don't look as fat as you do in that picture'
I think that sometimes people feel more comfortable commenting on people's weight when they're thin...as obnoxious as the comments might be...

So, if you think about it that way....it could have been a compliment from her because she thought you were thin enough that she could comment on your weight.....

you know - its funny that you said that - I was wondering - if I were REALLY heavy, would she have said that comment?

Also - at a meeting, a woman told me not to only eat 1 cookie because I have a dress to fit into, and for some reason it didn't bother me so much - maybe because it wasnt a direct comment about my weight... I don't know - its weird - I know what you mean, pale, about people commenting on weight - it always seems to be a subject in my family (hence my issues...!

your family and my family would get along great then!!!

lipglossjunky73 Posted: May 07, 2006 08:38 PM

Re: Someone made me cry today...

hey pale - all my life i have been under the microscope with my family - i know what you mean - I was 6 and they would say all these horrible things to me about my weight - AND - I see the pics now - and I was not heavy at all!!!

palebride Posted: May 07, 2006 08:57 PM

Re: Someone made me cry today...

I have terrible self esteem because of the focus my family put on weight....even though I was never even heavy until college....it's certainly left its mark, and now that I've gained those 30 pounds back....I'm miserable all over again!

KandR419 Posted: May 07, 2006 09:10 PM

Re: Someone made me cry today...

That is so rude of her to say! Some people seriously just don't have a clue. You totally have a right to be upset. (and she's totally wrong!!)

lipglossjunky73 Posted: May 07, 2006 09:31 PM

Re: Someone made me cry today...

thankls for supporting me ladies!!!

i feel so much better - and it certainly has not stopped me from eating today!

ksl268 Posted: May 07, 2006 09:38 PM

Re: Someone made me cry today...

Wow, people can be rude. I know it probably came as quite a shock and hurt your feelings quite a bit,but truly a person between a 4-6 is thin. I hope she realizes what a stupid comment that was! People should just keep their comments to themselves!