Something so beautiful

Nothing that I can say that hasn't already been said on this thread, just wanted to send some your way...
My thoughts are with you and your family...
Your Fh sounds like an amazing person.

Ed just offered to take my 12 year old nephew to tomorrow's Met game to give my sister one less thing to deal with tomorrow. Even though I know I would like to have him there for my own comfort, I know that this will alleviate stress for her. The 4 children in my family will have each other to help through this crisis. My mother always told us, 'Be good to each other, because when we are gone, you are all you've got. ' If ever there was a true test of this statement, it is now.

Continued thanks to all.

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Posted by Goldi1021

I hope none of you are ever put in a position where you have to make decisions and choices that break your heart. But I have to believe that things come full circle. My father will rest peacefully soon. I am at peace with this. Thank you for taking the time to read this make sure you tell your loved ones that you love them as often as you can.

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I am so sorry that you have had to go through this. I am glad you got to have that time with your Dad.

I remember what it is like to have to make decisions & choices like that as I had to do it all for my former fiance. I was his Health Care Proxy and had to make very hard decisions before he passed away!

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts & prayers during this very difficult time!

That is such an amazing, beautiful story. You have me at work. Thank you for sharing and many to you and family.

I want to thank you for sharing such a story.

For someone who doesnt cry much, reading it sure made my eyes fill up---I often think how important it is that the small stuff dont matter compared to something like this.

Unfortunately, most people cant grasp that I guess until it happens to them.

That was beautiful to read and I am crying!
Im sorry to hear about ur father.
My thoughts and prayers are sent to you & your family.


Thanks for sharing such a story!

The outpouring of support from people I've never met amazes me. You are all such special people. I have to beleive in my heart that my story is one of beauty and sweetness and not sadness and despair. The hardest part is yet to come for me and my family but we have each other.

All of us here have either just started a new family with DH/DWs or are soon to start one with FH/FWs. Remember the meaning of family and love each other. As I look forward to my own future, I hope and pray that my marriage was as long if not as fruitful as that of my parents. They have experienced so much joy.

That is an amazing story.

So sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time...

I'm glad your father was able to share in your good news....

I am crying. That was so touching. God bless
you, Ed, your dad and the rest of your family.

my dh must think im crazy because im sitting here sobbing. that is so beautiful!!!! im so glad that you and your fh were given the chance to speak to your dad and put him at peace knowing that you will be okay. my dad never got the chance to meet my dh which breaks my heart but more important i never got to say goodbye. im so glad that you did.

I'm so sorry for the difficulties you are experiencing.

oh wow, what a story... im sure your dad is so happy to know that you will be taken care of. That must have been such a touching moment for you, your fh and your dad. many hugs for you... i know the next few weeks are going to be rough...

What a beautiful story. And I'm sure your Dad is happy knowing that you have a great man in your life that will take care of you.

wow i dont know what to say after reading that. i am crying right now . all my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. very touching story.

I just came from a very exhausting day. My sister and I went to the hospital together and met Mom in Dad's room in the ICU. Dad is on a respirator and on a BP medication to sustain him. Under the conditions of the DNR we had for him, Dad was to be kept on the respirator and the specific BP medication dosage he was on was capped at a certain level NOT to be exceeded. No additional medications were to be administered. ICU was the only viable place for him to be under these conditions and that is what we wanted.

Dad was on a BP medication that would allow the heart, lungs and brain to work but would essentially not allow blood to reach his extremities which could in a short period of time make him develop gangrene. The children decided that we were going to help mom make the decision to terminate the meds on Saturday afternoon. So when my sister and I get to the hospital, we see his coloring had improved from the day before and we were wondering why. It turns out that Dad was put on a different BP medication without our knowledge - a medication that can be monitored elsewhere in the hospital that allows the blood to reach the extremities. It won't change the outcome, it would simply allow him to live a little longer (a few days maybe).

Basically the DNR was ignored and now after all of us making peace with the situation, we felt manipulated by a group of clinicians who did not have enough faith in us as a family to do right by my father and let him rest peacefully. We feel like they wanted to free up the space so someone who is going to get better could have it. This DNR that we had was 6 months in the making as mom had a REALLY difficult time with it and it was basically done when we were in crisis. We were going to adhere to it.

All of the peace I made with Dad and G-d, was kind of thrown by the way side. Now Dad may have more time but that is not a good thing in this case. Our emotions have been run ragged and we deserved the dignity and respect to let him go in peace under our own terms. Our trust was violated.