sometimes people dont realize what they are saying

I went to dinner with some of my friends tonight. And well my best friend whom I love to death kind of hurt my feelings today with what she said to me....but I dont think she realized....

We were chatting about engagement rings because her boyfriends brother just got a ring for his gf...and will be proposing soon. Now my best friend does not like hte gf at all...and I met her last night and she is NOT a nice girl at all...so I completely understand. And she is mean to my best friend. Anyway my best friend was saying how she is mad because they are getting engaged and they broke up in May and now are back together and he has a ring already. So she was telling us about the ring the brother got his gf and my best friend said it was ugly. I am not going to say hte type of ring just because I dont want to offend anyone. But she also said it's only 1.5 carats so what that means the center stones only 3/4 or something and then she continued to say OMG never I want bigger that is such a lame ring or something to that effect.

Now this is where she hurt my feelings. My ring is 1.5 carats and the center stone is 1 carat and the rest of the diamonds on it is the .5 carat....But I kind of took offense to this since my ring is smaller than what she wants- she wants 2 carats....And I felt like saying be happy with what oyu get you shouldnt expect anything you should be so happy that your FH picked it out or for those who wouldnt leave it up to their FH to pick out atleast be happy with what he is able to pay for. I mean engagements and marriage arent about the ring...and now I feel my friends when they say my ring is nice are just saying it to be nice about it and think it is small and stuff...I MEAN obviously we all dont like certain types of rings but I am alsonot going to put someones size of the ring down.....

sorry just had to vent i was a little taken back and offended but didnt say anything...

she is probably jealous, don't let it bother you

---

Posted by dream426

It sounds like she is saying it because she doesn't like the gf. I do understand how that would hurt your feelings though. She probably didn't realize it because all she wanted to do was make fun of that girl. If she really thought that way she would laugh at my ring then...lol

---

aww im sorry i didnt mean to offend anyone or make anyone feel their rings are not good or anything


i mean i told fh i dont need a ring to know you love me and want to marry me and actually have you marry me... i know it is an added bonus getting a ring but the most important part to me is having you as my fiance/husband. plus i mean does having a bigger ring make you have a better wedding, a better fiance or husband or better life etc...NO

thanks though...it prob was because she wanted to make fun of the brothers gf...which is weird cause she is so sweet normally never really making fun of anyone etc. plus i think she thought her and her bf would be engaged before

---

Posted by Espo22

she is probably jealous, don't let it bother you

---

thanks denise...yeah i just mentioned it...i think she sees her best friend getting married, now her bf's brother (to a not so nice girl) and she sees it as why cant she be getting engaged.

yea i guess it hurts more when you hear it from a best friend and someone who is happy for you

i am sure she didnt even realize and was just getting her anger out about the situation with the brother and his gf.

---

Posted by cbcf

---

Posted by dream426

It sounds like she is saying it because she doesn't like the gf. I do understand how that would hurt your feelings though. She probably didn't realize it because all she wanted to do was make fun of that girl. If she really thought that way she would laugh at my ring then...lol

---

aww im sorry i didnt mean to offend anyone or make anyone feel their rings are not good or anything


i mean i told fh i dont need a ring to know you love me and want to marry me and actually have you marry me... i know it is an added bonus getting a ring but the most important part to me is having you as my fiance/husband. plus i mean does having a bigger ring make you have a better wedding, a better fiance or husband or better life etc...NO

thanks though...it prob was because she wanted to make fun of the brothers gf...which is weird cause she is so sweet normally never really making fun of anyone etc. plus i think she thought her and her bf would be engaged before

---

Oh no. You didn't offend me at all. Please don't think you did. I feel bad now. It didn't offend me at all. Don't worry.

Im sure she didnt think b4 she spoke, But im sure once shes ready to get engaged things will change...I always said i wanted at LEAST 1.5 cts and when Jon and I talked about it, i really just wanted him to be comfortable n get what he could afford,( Luckly our neighbor turns out to own a Jewlery business.....he got his price and I got bigger then I watned!! :) ) But it really doenst matter as long as there is true meaning behind it, which im sure you and ur FH know about :)

Im sorry she hurt ur feelings

---

Posted by dream426

---

Posted by cbcf

---

Posted by dream426

It sounds like she is saying it because she doesn't like the gf. I do understand how that would hurt your feelings though. She probably didn't realize it because all she wanted to do was make fun of that girl. If she really thought that way she would laugh at my ring then...lol

---

aww im sorry i didnt mean to offend anyone or make anyone feel their rings are not good or anything


i mean i told fh i dont need a ring to know you love me and want to marry me and actually have you marry me... i know it is an added bonus getting a ring but the most important part to me is having you as my fiance/husband. plus i mean does having a bigger ring make you have a better wedding, a better fiance or husband or better life etc...NO

thanks though...it prob was because she wanted to make fun of the brothers gf...which is weird cause she is so sweet normally never really making fun of anyone etc. plus i think she thought her and her bf would be engaged before

---

Oh no. You didn't offend me at all. Please don't think you did. I feel bad now. It didn't offend me at all. Don't worry.

---

haha ok i just didnt want 2 of us all down haha

thanks though for your kind words!!

Anytime

Thanks everyone you made me feel so much better...I guess I have just heard so many negative things regarding being engaged, getting married, the actual wedding etc

that eventually it just gets to me and I dwell on it all until I realize what is good for FH and myself is not always good for others and not to take it to heart

aww sweetie try not to take it to heart.. i know its hard i get it all the time youd be surprised at what people say and have no idea their even doing it. one of my very close friends said something along the lines of.. your ring is nice but way to small for my hands i would need something bigger then caught herself and said well for your hands it looks perfect.. it was very obvious. but im EXTREMELY grateful to have a ring at all... im a 'baby' to most and cant believe FH was able to even afford to get me a ring. ring is just a symbol it doesn't measure how much he loves you. Hey who wouldn't want a 2 ct ring??? but its not always possible!

i was told by 3 people in my class that i should really 'think ' about what im doing im a 'baby' and i should really establish myself before getting married.... I HAAAAATE when people put their 2 cents in when its not wanted. or asked for. and especially when its something RUDE ...cant wait till i get knocked up that will be a whole other can of worms

---

Posted by Soon2BMrsD

aww sweetie try not to take it to heart.. i know its hard i get it all the time youd be surprised at what people say and have no idea their even doing it. one of my very close friends said something along the lines of.. your ring is nice but way to small for my hands i would need something bigger then caught herself and said well for your hands it looks perfect.. it was very obvious. but im EXTREMELY grateful to have a ring at all... im a 'baby' to most and cant believe FH was able to even afford to get me a ring. ring is just a symbol it doesn't measure how much he loves you. Hey who wouldn't want a 2 ct ring??? but its not always possible!

---

thanks meg...sorry i didnt FM you back yet...my laptop is being stupid lately...but anyway thanks!!!

I appreciate it and its true I was soo suprised when FH proposed and that made it all that much more special to me and I didnt even look at the ring when he proposed I just looked at him and was so shocked and happy. I mean the ring is nice obviously but like you said it is a symbol but does not measure how much FH loves me...I mean come on now I know how mcuh we love each other with sticking through 4 yrs of the Marine Corps lol

But I think most people realize after the fact that a 2 + carat ring or even a 1.5 carat ring isnt always possible and sometimes i think my friends dont understand that a 10,000$ ring is alot at 22yrs old or 23yrs old you know- id rather get a house sooner haha

---

Posted by Soon2BMrsD

i was told by 3 people in my class that i should really 'think ' about what im doing im a 'baby' and i should really establish myself before getting married.... I HAAAAATE when people put their 2 cents in when its not wanted. or asked for. and especially when its something RUDE ...cant wait till i get knocked up that will be a whole other can of worms

---

haha i love ya meg


yeah my best friends bf's brother- his gf's mom was at the BBQ where I actually met her last night and her mom asked how old i was cause i looked like i was 16 and not old enough to get married and was i ready...yet mind you her daughter (the brother's gf) is my age 21 and the mom knows the bf is proposing soon...UM STUPID PEOPLE HUH???

---

Posted by cbcf

---

Posted by Espo22

she is probably jealous, don't let it bother you

---

thanks denise...yeah i just mentioned it...i think she sees her best friend getting married, now her bf's brother (to a not so nice girl) and she sees it as why cant she be getting engaged.

---

sounds like it, otherwise no other reason to hate on the ring. And at least that girl has a ring...and girls who talk like that should watch out bc the ones who say they better get 2 carats will not get what they want and then what is she gonna do.

Its funny bc i never asked FH about the ring, after a couple of weeks he was like don't you want to know ? i said not really what is it gonna change lol then he finally told me. Some girls know about the other C's and they'll ask me and im like HUH i dont even know what you're talking about, i don't know the classes for color, clairty and i don't care either well i do know its round cut but thats about it lol. Whats more important is the man who gave it to me. If i was with a jerk who gave me 5 carats would that make my life better

FH got lucky bc he got an amazing deal, but when he was looking he kept asking me what i wanted and i said i want him to pick it out himself and not to go crazy and spend alot, i don't want him to go broke now.

---

Posted by cbcf

---

Posted by Soon2BMrsD

aww sweetie try not to take it to heart.. i know its hard i get it all the time youd be surprised at what people say and have no idea their even doing it. one of my very close friends said something along the lines of.. your ring is nice but way to small for my hands i would need something bigger then caught herself and said well for your hands it looks perfect.. it was very obvious. but im EXTREMELY grateful to have a ring at all... im a 'baby' to most and cant believe FH was able to even afford to get me a ring. ring is just a symbol it doesn't measure how much he loves you. Hey who wouldn't want a 2 ct ring??? but its not always possible!

---

thanks meg...sorry i didnt FM you back yet...my laptop is being stupid lately...but anyway thanks!!!

I appreciate it and its true I was soo suprised when FH proposed and that made it all that much more special to me and I didnt even look at the ring when he proposed I just looked at him and was so shocked and happy. I mean the ring is nice obviously but like you said it is a symbol but does not measure how much FH loves me...I mean come on now I know how mcuh we love each other with sticking through 4 yrs of the Marine Corps lol

But I think most people realize after the fact that a 2 + carat ring or even a 1.5 carat ring isnt always possible and sometimes i think my friends dont understand that a 10,000$ ring is alot at 22yrs old or 23yrs old you know- id rather get a house sooner haha

---

amen sister...hahaha... really tho... if we cant afford to live together what makes them think im going to be walking around with a ice skating rink on my hand.. and like u guy were paying for the wedding ourselves unless they are planning a wedding also most people dont realize the cost of everything and if they knew they wouldnt be expecting such an expensive ring (IMO)