sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
Original post by cbcf
I went to dinner with some of my friends tonight. And well my best friend whom I love to death kind of hurt my feelings today with what she said to me....but I dont think she realized....
We were chatting about engagement rings because her boyfriends brother just got a ring for his gf...and will be proposing soon. Now my best friend does not like hte gf at all...and I met her last night and she is NOT a nice girl at all...so I completely understand. And she is mean to my best friend. Anyway my best friend was saying how she is mad because they are getting engaged and they broke up in May and now are back together and he has a ring already. So she was telling us about the ring the brother got his gf and my best friend said it was ugly. I am not going to say hte type of ring just because I dont want to offend anyone. But she also said it's only 1.5 carats so what that means the center stones only 3/4 or something and then she continued to say OMG never I want bigger that is such a lame ring or something to that effect.
Now this is where she hurt my feelings. My ring is 1.5 carats and the center stone is 1 carat and the rest of the diamonds on it is the .5 carat....But I kind of took offense to this since my ring is smaller than what she wants- she wants 2 carats....And I felt like saying be happy with what oyu get you shouldnt expect anything you should be so happy that your FH picked it out or for those who wouldnt leave it up to their FH to pick out atleast be happy with what he is able to pay for. I mean engagements and marriage arent about the ring...and now I feel my friends when they say my ring is nice are just saying it to be nice about it and think it is small and stuff...I MEAN obviously we all dont like certain types of rings but I am alsonot going to put someones size of the ring down.....
sorry just had to vent i was a little taken back and offended but didnt say anything...
ILOVEBRIAN2008
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
aww we she def didnt mean to hurt ur feelings..in a way u could even take it as a compliment bc she obviously thought that ur ring had to be 2 carats for her to say that in front of u!
but i defknow what u mean and feel ... but when it comes down to it a ring is a ring..its the marraige that counts!!
MikeandJess
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
I'm sorry she hurt your feelings I find this so common with the whole engagement / wedding planning thing. People love to speak their mind without thinking of what is coming out. If it really bothers you, you should let her know that she should be a little more considerate and that she hurt your feelings
cbcf
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
Posted by Espo22
Posted by cbcf
Posted by Espo22
she is probably jealous, don't let it bother you
thanks denise...yeah i just mentioned it...i think she sees her best friend getting married, now her bf's brother (to a not so nice girl) and she sees it as why cant she be getting engaged.
sounds like it, otherwise no other reason to hate on the ring. And at least that girl has a ring...and girls who talk like that should watch out bc the ones who say they better get 2 carats will not get what they want and then what is she gonna do.
Its funny bc i never asked FH about the ring, after a couple of weeks he was like don't you want to know ? i said not really what is it gonna change lol then he finally told me. Some girls know about the other C's and they'll ask me and im like HUH i dont even know what you're talking about, i don't know the classes for color, clairty and i don't care either well i do know its round cut but thats about it lol. Whats more important is the man who gave it to me. If i was with a jerk who gave me 5 carats would that make my life better
FH got lucky bc he got an amazing deal, but when he was looking he kept asking me what i wanted and i said i want him to pick it out himself and not to go crazy and spend alot, i don't want him to go broke now.
I completely agree!! I never knew what size the ring was either until FH's sister in law asked me and he was in right next to me and heard her ask me and me say I dont know...but he pretended not to hear and then told me later that night cause he said he wondered why i never asked but since i ddint he didnt want to tell someone else before i even knew haha
cbcf
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
Posted by Soon2BMrsD
Posted by cbcf
Posted by Soon2BMrsD
aww sweetie try not to take it to heart.. i know its hard i get it all the time youd be surprised at what people say and have no idea their even doing it. one of my very close friends said something along the lines of.. your ring is nice but way to small for my hands i would need something bigger then caught herself and said well for your hands it looks perfect.. it was very obvious. but im EXTREMELY grateful to have a ring at all... im a 'baby' to most and cant believe FH was able to even afford to get me a ring. ring is just a symbol it doesn't measure how much he loves you. Hey who wouldn't want a 2 ct ring??? but its not always possible!
thanks meg...sorry i didnt FM you back yet...my laptop is being stupid lately...but anyway thanks!!!
I appreciate it and its true I was soo suprised when FH proposed and that made it all that much more special to me and I didnt even look at the ring when he proposed I just looked at him and was so shocked and happy. I mean the ring is nice obviously but like you said it is a symbol but does not measure how much FH loves me...I mean come on now I know how mcuh we love each other with sticking through 4 yrs of the Marine Corps lol
But I think most people realize after the fact that a 2 + carat ring or even a 1.5 carat ring isnt always possible and sometimes i think my friends dont understand that a 10,000$ ring is alot at 22yrs old or 23yrs old you know- id rather get a house sooner haha
amen sister...hahaha... really tho... if we cant afford to live together what makes them think im going to be walking around with a ice skating rink on my hand.. and like u guy were paying for the wedding ourselves unless they are planning a wedding also most people dont realize the cost of everything and if they knew they wouldnt be expecting such an expensive ring (IMO)
exactly how i feel...they dont realize how much this all cost i mean i know i didnt before searching on here and going to vendors...and yes i mean an ice rink on my hand and a home is nice but is it worth it to me now...JMO and more power to anyone who can have both or wants more than the otehr....i feel each their own lol
Espo22
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
Posted by cbcf
Posted by Espo22
Posted by cbcf
Posted by Espo22
she is probably jealous, don't let it bother you
thanks denise...yeah i just mentioned it...i think she sees her best friend getting married, now her bf's brother (to a not so nice girl) and she sees it as why cant she be getting engaged.
sounds like it, otherwise no other reason to hate on the ring. And at least that girl has a ring...and girls who talk like that should watch out bc the ones who say they better get 2 carats will not get what they want and then what is she gonna do.
Its funny bc i never asked FH about the ring, after a couple of weeks he was like don't you want to know ? i said not really what is it gonna change lol then he finally told me. Some girls know about the other C's and they'll ask me and im like HUH i dont even know what you're talking about, i don't know the classes for color, clairty and i don't care either well i do know its round cut but thats about it lol. Whats more important is the man who gave it to me. If i was with a jerk who gave me 5 carats would that make my life better
FH got lucky bc he got an amazing deal, but when he was looking he kept asking me what i wanted and i said i want him to pick it out himself and not to go crazy and spend alot, i don't want him to go broke now.
I completely agree!! I never knew what size the ring was either until FH's sister in law asked me and he was in right next to me and heard her ask me and me say I dont know...but he pretended not to hear and then told me later that night cause he said he wondered why i never asked but since i ddint he didnt want to tell someone else before i even knew haha
ill be honest i still dont know how much the setting is so dont know the total
jenlen
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
aaaaw. I know what you mean though. My center stone is a little bigger than 0.5 carats (but with the halo and the band, total is about 1 carat). And people always say, 'it's ONLY 0.5 carats' to me when they find out. But with my 3.5 size finger, everything bigger looked too big with the halo style (FH wanted to get me a bigger stone and I told him not to). I don't really care because i LOVE the style...but I hear it a lot.
Your ring is beautiful and special because it's yours and your FH gave it to you! It doesn't matter what anyone else says!
Cntthinkofone
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
I know people can be so messed up. I honestly think its jealousy. When a friend of mine got engaged a close friend asked her how much it was and she said the price and that the whole ring was 1ct. So she goes to her I can see how someone like you wouldnt mind that but When I get married I expect bigger and more expensive. Why say that people are messed up I would flip right then and there.
GinaBambina08
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
Honestly, it seems like she might have a chip on her shoulder because her man didn't propose to her yet...and from the way you told the story, it seems like it's happening to a couple of people around her and not her...
bemyyoko
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
i know how you feel. my ring is not a large carat size by any means. and poeple on this website have made me feel the same way your friend made you feel.
i think you're right though... sometimes people just dont realize...
your ring is your ring, and it represents your FH love for you and it's gorgeous and perfect. there's nothing wrong with not being all stuck up and demanding when it comes to your ring.
Espo22
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
Posted by bemyyoko
i know how you feel. my ring is not a large carat size by any means. and poeple on this website have made me feel the same way your friend made you feel.
i think you're right though... sometimes people just dont realize...
your ring is your ring, and it represents your FH love for you and it's gorgeous and perfect. there's nothing wrong with not being all stuck up and demanding when it comes to your ring.
someone said something to you
beachbum05
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
Posted by bemyyoko
i know how you feel. my ring is not a large carat size by any means. and poeple on this website have made me feel the same way your friend made you feel.
i think you're right though... sometimes people just dont realize...
your ring is your ring, and it represents your FH love for you and it's gorgeous and perfect. there's nothing wrong with not being all stuck up and demanding when it comes to your ring.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat!? they deserve a smack. A ring is a symbol of love....not a status symbol. That's complete BS that someone could be so shallow.
You rock your bling proudly, girl!
bemyyoko
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
Posted by Espo22
Posted by bemyyoko
i know how you feel. my ring is not a large carat size by any means. and poeple on this website have made me feel the same way your friend made you feel.
i think you're right though... sometimes people just dont realize...
your ring is your ring, and it represents your FH love for you and it's gorgeous and perfect. there's nothing wrong with not being all stuck up and demanding when it comes to your ring.
someone said something to you
yea lol it was a while back and the drama has ended. but it did upset me and i havent posted pics of my ring since, aside from the GTG photo because i felt it was insulting to my FH to say something like that. I don't need strangers judging him based on money you know?
I love my ring, and since i've got tiny fingers i always said no big rocks for me. i'm happy and that's all that matters.
Espo22
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
Posted by bemyyoko
Posted by Espo22
Posted by bemyyoko
i know how you feel. my ring is not a large carat size by any means. and poeple on this website have made me feel the same way your friend made you feel.
i think you're right though... sometimes people just dont realize...
your ring is your ring, and it represents your FH love for you and it's gorgeous and perfect. there's nothing wrong with not being all stuck up and demanding when it comes to your ring.
someone said something to you
yea lol it was a while back and the drama has ended. but it did upset me and i havent posted pics of my ring since, aside from the GTG photo because i felt it was insulting to my FH to say something like that. I don't need strangers judging him based on money you know?
I love my ring, and since i've got tiny fingers i always said no big rocks for me. i'm happy and that's all that matters.
Hmmm i must've missed it. Don't feel like that at all please...Listen ill say this many times, I know of ppl who have HUGE rocks and i mean 5 and up carats and they are in miserable marriages, its not what will make you happy. Be proud of the ring your FH gave you bc along with it is his desire to spend the rest of his life with you and his commitment to you. Anybody can buy a ring but to have a good man is a hard thing to find. So wear your ring proudly.
Like i said before FH got lucky and got a deal and not just a small discount from a store or anything like that...Otherwise with his school loans, and bills he wouldn't be able to spend a ton of money and i would've never expected him to.
cbcf
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
Posted by jenlen
aaaaw. I know what you mean though. My center stone is a little bigger than 0.5 carats (but with the halo and the band, total is about 1 carat). And people always say, 'it's ONLY 0.5 carats' to me when they find out. But with my 3.5 size finger, everything bigger looked too big with the halo style (FH wanted to get me a bigger stone and I told him not to). I don't really care because i LOVE the style...but I hear it a lot.
Your ring is beautiful and special because it's yours and your FH gave it to you! It doesn't matter what anyone else says!
Jen I love your ring it is gorgeous...so who cares what anyone says to you....
and thank you for the kind words...it is true i love my ring and the style especially since FH picked it out all by himself
cbcf
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
Posted by GinaBambina88
Honestly, it seems like she might have a chip on her shoulder because her man didn't propose to her yet...and from the way you told the story, it seems like it's happening to a couple of people around her and not her...
well yes..her bf hasnt proposed yet but i am happy he hasnt. they have only been going out about 8 months and every other long relationship she had she kinda got bored iwth it and they broke up. I mean her BF now I can tell they love each other and he really really loves her and she even said he is the one. and he told me by the time my wedding comes they will be engaged. But I KNOW that he has to prob save and wants to amke sure this is it you know. but i think you are right she sees others around her getting engaged and i think it is overwhelming for her
Mrs. V 2008
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wow that horrible..im sorry..i can't stand people like that..it sounds like they're only marrying someone cause of their money..thats ridiculous..marriage is supposed to be about love and spending the rest of your life with someone..not the size of a ring..
Mizzdimple
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sees a wench lol...pay no mind
jgl
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
dont feel bad or make that hurt your feelings.. she wasnt thinking... she also has no clue
just wait til its her time and if her bf can afford what she wants... she may have a realizty check.
I think most of us were at that place at some point. saying ohhh i really want at least 2 carats or etc... until you really realize what that will cost!
cbcf
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
Posted by jgl
dont feel bad or make that hurt your feelings.. she wasnt thinking... she also has no clue
just wait til its her time and if her bf can afford what she wants... she may have a realizty check.
I think most of us were at that place at some point. saying ohhh i really want at least 2 carats or etc... until you really realize what that will cost!
thank you!!!
thank you everyone else as well...i feel bad now I dont want to portray my best friend as a brat or anything. Like most of you said she doesnt realize becasue she is not in our position. Also I think she was just mad about her own bf's brother and him proposing and her whole situation with the gf. I shouldn't take things to heart. Especially when she is my best friend....
But thanks everyone!!!! I think I just became more emotional since FH left haha
Espo22
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Re: sometimes people dont realize what they are saying
Posted by jgl
dont feel bad or make that hurt your feelings.. she wasnt thinking... she also has no clue
just wait til its her time and if her bf can afford what she wants... she may have a realizty check.
I think most of us were at that place at some point. saying ohhh i really want at least 2 carats or etc... until you really realize what that will cost!
hahahha so true, before it was even imagineable we also have our heads in the clouds...i used to say i want to get married at the plaza hotel
