sometimes posts confuse me...

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by Espo22

Sometimes I see people arguing about things or wanting to break it off for things that really aren't THAT bad. I sit there expecting to read OMG they cheated or something...then I read it and im like hmmm its not that bad, in relationships you deal with things like that and you cant end it everytime you fight and then get together again and then the cycle continues. Then when someone says something about their relationship they get defensive. There most likely will be ALOT tougher times down the road, gotta learn how to handle the smaller things first.

i don't know if this applies to the situation you are talking about but im talking about many other things ive seen

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i agree denise.. sometimes i think people are too quick to break it off instead of getting down to what the real problem is and working on it (although sometimes its not the right situation) but i think people are also quick to post it on here .. then to me they just seem like attention cravers when they post they are back together the next day

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exactly, you can't always run at the first sign of trouble, try to work it out thats what relationships are about...Its two separate individuals making a life together so you have to get accustomed to how the other one does things and handles situations.

Yeah I would wait. I know couples who break up and get back together all the time and people just look at the relationship differently...My past relationship was like that so I realize how people perceive it and can't blame them.

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Posted by angl2001

sometime what can be little things to some of us are BIG things to others so even tho we dont think its a big deal , we need to be supportive of those who think they are.

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I do agree about what seems small to one person is big to another. I just feel that you don't break up for every fight or disagreement. Again i don't know this particular situation, but if regular fights makes you leave them then how will truly big problems be handled, unfortunately we are thrown some hard situations in life

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Posted by angl2001

sometime what can be little things to some of us are BIG things to others so even tho we dont think its a big deal , we need to be supportive of those who think they are.

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I didnt see the post and I have no clue what the issue was about, but im just commenting on 'on again-off again' in general.

I think people sometimes use the words 'its over' or whatever too loosley.. IDK

FH and I were like that when we were first together, like any little thing would be a break up issue- but then we learned to deal with eachother and not say we want to break up so quickly.

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

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Posted by angl2001

sometime what can be little things to some of us are BIG things to others so even tho we dont think its a big deal , we need to be supportive of those who think they are.

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I didnt see the post and I have no clue what the issue was about, but im just commenting on 'on again-off again' in general.

I think people sometimes use the words 'its over' or whatever too loosley.. IDK

FH and I were like that when we were first together, like any little thing would be a break up issue- but then we learned to deal with eachother and not say we want to break up so quickly.

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yeah exactly what i am saying. It is just thrown around loosely and my point is that you shouldn't always do that for certain reasons...One everytime you do this and bad mouth the other person to all your friends and family then you are taking away the image this person has of them. I am sorry but I do the same, if i see a friend who CONSTANTLY is breaking up with her bf and getting back and telling us every little bad thing he does when she gets mad and always frustrated with him then people are gonna wonder, why are you with him or her? and question the love you two have for eachother, its unfortunate but true. When I fight with FH i don't tell my mom, even when she notices something is wrong with me i just say nothing or say something else is bothering me. I would never put down FH in front of my mother and take away her image of him. Fh is great but if after every fight when i am mad i ran to my mom and bad mouthed him then she would have a different perspective.

that is SUCH a great point .. its true.. and it happens all the time

your friend is with someone, they break up they talk crap about him and of course (i say crap too - forgetting that they will prob get back together again) then they DO get back together again and everyone jsut feels awkward.. hahhaha

thats why what goes on with FH and I stays between the 2 of us. we work it out together as a team and we dont involve our familes and friends.. i also dont want people judging something i did or he did because i confided in them.. because you can never take that back... so FH and I work it out together

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by Espo22

Sometimes I see people arguing about things or wanting to break it off for things that really aren't THAT bad. I sit there expecting to read OMG they cheated or something...then I read it and im like hmmm its not that bad, in relationships you deal with things like that and you cant end it everytime you fight and then get together again and then the cycle continues. Then when someone says something about their relationship they get defensive. There most likely will be ALOT tougher times down the road, gotta learn how to handle the smaller things first.

i don't know if this applies to the situation you are talking about but im talking about many other things ive seen

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i agree denise.. sometimes i think people are too quick to break it off instead of getting down to what the real problem is and working on it (although sometimes its not the right situation) but i think people are also quick to post it on here .. then to me they just seem like attention cravers when they post they are back together the next day

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i agree with both of you. i mean relationships have bumps along the way. Anf there isn't always rainbows and butterflies haha - but seriously working through problems is what builds your relationship up and makes it stronger. and yes i feel people are quick to post about relation problems on here as well- i mean i feel breaking off an engagement/wedding and even the relationship as a whole is a personal and somewhat private manner. and i dont thinki would be coming on the day of the break off to announce it you know

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Posted by jgl

that is SUCH a great point .. its true.. and it happens all the time

your friend is with someone, they break up they talk crap about him and of course (i say crap too - forgetting that they will prob get back together again) then they DO get back together again and everyone jsut feels awkward.. hahhaha

thats why what goes on with FH and I stays between the 2 of us. we work it out together as a team and we dont involve our familes and friends.. i also dont want people judging something i did or he did because i confided in them.. because you can never take that back... so FH and I work it out together

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Yeah- i agree- if its something serious we are going through- then it stays between us. Its the stupid crap I will tell people and laugh about.

Like FH never calls his parents and my friends husband is the same way- so we swap stories, but in a funny way.

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Posted by jgl

that is SUCH a great point .. its true.. and it happens all the time

your friend is with someone, they break up they talk crap about him and of course (i say crap too - forgetting that they will prob get back together again) then they DO get back together again and everyone jsut feels awkward.. hahhaha

thats why what goes on with FH and I stays between the 2 of us. we work it out together as a team and we dont involve our familes and friends.. i also dont want people judging something i did or he did because i confided in them.. so FH and I work it out together

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exactly i tell VERY FEW ppl if anything, theres 2 actually i tell and thats it...and theres times I don't say anything at all. When we are angry we say things we don't mean. If a friend or family member constantly hears, oh he doesn't do this for me, or he did this to me and its so wrong, he doesn't care or blah blah blah which ive had ppl constantly tell me about their SO and im just like OK then why are you with them? Because all we hear is bad things and wonder why they put up with it.

I did the same thing in the past so i know. I used to complain all the time about my ex, tell everyone if he did something wrong and people would all sit and wonder why i stayed with him, and many ppl even came out and said that to me. That was a different situation and yes one i shouldn't have been in...FH now is great and we get along great most of the time, we do have fights here and there of course but for how great he is i would never put him down in front of others and take away from what we have.

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

Its hard for us, bc My mom sometimes hears us fighting b/c we live in the apt upstairs. when i tell her what it was bout- she usually says'aaahh yeah- your father does tht all the time, men are annoying' LOl Its usually something dumb we are arguing about..haha

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well my mom will blame me right away lol and his mom blames him right away hahaha. But i would never bad mouth him and complain all the time, i dont have to but if there were things i wouldn't do it, i would maybe evaluate the relationship and focus on doing that

I told FH BEFORE we got engaged that BREAK UP was a serious word and that if he gets mad at me and threatens or uses the words' break up' or 'its over' , I will hand the ring back to him and it is really OVER. We have both been very good about not throwing those words around.

Dem dare is fightin' words...haha

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

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Posted by jgl

that is SUCH a great point .. its true.. and it happens all the time

your friend is with someone, they break up they talk crap about him and of course (i say crap too - forgetting that they will prob get back together again) then they DO get back together again and everyone jsut feels awkward.. hahhaha

thats why what goes on with FH and I stays between the 2 of us. we work it out together as a team and we dont involve our familes and friends.. i also dont want people judging something i did or he did because i confided in them.. because you can never take that back... so FH and I work it out together

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Yeah- i agree- if its something serious we are going through- then it stays between us. Its the stupid crap I will tell people and laugh about.

Like FH never calls his parents and my friends husband is the same way- so we swap stories, but in a funny way.

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yeah ill complain about minor things...but its also different when you tell friends who know the two of you, see you together and know the love you have for eachother...telling strangers is different bc they don't know and its all they have to by.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

Its hard for us, bc My mom sometimes hears us fighting b/c we live in the apt upstairs. when i tell her what it was bout- she usually says'aaahh yeah- your father does tht all the time, men are annoying' LOl Its usually something dumb we are arguing about..haha

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well my mom will blame me right away lol and his mom blames him right away hahaha. But i would never bad mouth him and complain all the time, i dont have to but if there were things i wouldn't do it, i would maybe evaluate the relationship and focus on doing that

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yeah FHs family blames him all the time his grandpa always tells me to let him know if hes not treating me right.. so he can kick his behind!! hehee

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

Its hard for us, bc My mom sometimes hears us fighting b/c we live in the apt upstairs. when i tell her what it was bout- she usually says'aaahh yeah- your father does tht all the time, men are annoying' LOl Its usually something dumb we are arguing about..haha

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well my mom will blame me right away lol and his mom blames him right away hahaha. But i would never bad mouth him and complain all the time, i dont have to but if there were things i wouldn't do it, i would maybe evaluate the relationship and focus on doing that

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yeah FHs family blames him all the time his grandpa always tells me to let him know if hes not treating me right.. so he can kick his behind!! hehee

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that is cute- haha

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

Its hard for us, bc My mom sometimes hears us fighting b/c we live in the apt upstairs. when i tell her what it was bout- she usually says'aaahh yeah- your father does tht all the time, men are annoying' LOl Its usually something dumb we are arguing about..haha

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well my mom will blame me right away lol and his mom blames him right away hahaha. But i would never bad mouth him and complain all the time, i dont have to but if there were things i wouldn't do it, i would maybe evaluate the relationship and focus on doing that

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yeah FHs family blames him all the time his grandpa always tells me to let him know if hes not treating me right.. so he can kick his behind!! hehee

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Yeah lately FH was complaining that his mom never takes his side and she likes me more, in a jokingly way though.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

Its hard for us, bc My mom sometimes hears us fighting b/c we live in the apt upstairs. when i tell her what it was bout- she usually says'aaahh yeah- your father does tht all the time, men are annoying' LOl Its usually something dumb we are arguing about..haha

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well my mom will blame me right away lol and his mom blames him right away hahaha. But i would never bad mouth him and complain all the time, i dont have to but if there were things i wouldn't do it, i would maybe evaluate the relationship and focus on doing that

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yeah FHs family blames him all the time his grandpa always tells me to let him know if hes not treating me right.. so he can kick his behind!! hehee

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Yeah lately FH was complaining that his mom never takes his side and she likes me more, in a jokingly way though.

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i think its natural in a way.. not that of course they dont love their sons.. but for me and FMIL we get along great.. she only has 1 son, no daughters, and her and i can talk girly stuff, gossip about people and etc.. and FH is just so uninterested.

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

Its hard for us, bc My mom sometimes hears us fighting b/c we live in the apt upstairs. when i tell her what it was bout- she usually says'aaahh yeah- your father does tht all the time, men are annoying' LOl Its usually something dumb we are arguing about..haha

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well my mom will blame me right away lol and his mom blames him right away hahaha. But i would never bad mouth him and complain all the time, i dont have to but if there were things i wouldn't do it, i would maybe evaluate the relationship and focus on doing that

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yeah FHs family blames him all the time his grandpa always tells me to let him know if hes not treating me right.. so he can kick his behind!! hehee

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Yeah lately FH was complaining that his mom never takes his side and she likes me more, in a jokingly way though.

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i think its natural in a way.. not that of course they dont love their sons.. but for me and FMIL we get along great.. she only has 1 son, no daughters, and her and i can talk girly stuff, gossip about people and etc.. and FH is just so uninterested.

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hahahaha same here, FMIL and I email eachother all day. He'll tell me something and ill be like yeah i know already, like he told me last week what day he was going to see his doctor and i knew, he was like W** you probably knew before me which i did bc his mom made the appointment for him lol. He always jokes about this. But i tell him he should be happy we get along so well and that his mom loves me and not to complain. Wait until i tell him that today she asked if i wanted to do a day at the spa with her lol. He jokes that were conspiring against him

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

Its hard for us, bc My mom sometimes hears us fighting b/c we live in the apt upstairs. when i tell her what it was bout- she usually says'aaahh yeah- your father does tht all the time, men are annoying' LOl Its usually something dumb we are arguing about..haha

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well my mom will blame me right away lol and his mom blames him right away hahaha. But i would never bad mouth him and complain all the time, i dont have to but if there were things i wouldn't do it, i would maybe evaluate the relationship and focus on doing that

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yeah FHs family blames him all the time his grandpa always tells me to let him know if hes not treating me right.. so he can kick his behind!! hehee

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Yeah lately FH was complaining that his mom never takes his side and she likes me more, in a jokingly way though.

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i think its natural in a way.. not that of course they dont love their sons.. but for me and FMIL we get along great.. she only has 1 son, no daughters, and her and i can talk girly stuff, gossip about people and etc.. and FH is just so uninterested.

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hahahaha same here, FMIL and I email eachother all day. He'll tell me something and ill be like yeah i know already, like he told me last week what day he was going to see his doctor and i knew, he was like W** you probably knew before me which i did bc his mom made the appointment for him lol. He always jokes about this. But i tell him he should be happy we get along so well and that his mom loves me and not to complain. Wait until i tell him that today she asked if i wanted to do a day at the spa with her lol. He jokes that were conspiring against him

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that is def like his mom and I .. i always know about parties or thinkgs going on in the family before him.. then he tries to tell me like he has gossip or something and im like 'yeah i know that'

we are very lucky to get along with out in laws!!!

sometimes when i see those posts, its kinda shocking, but people break up and get back together.

FH and i have never broken up, not even for a minute, but i know there are couples that do that often...if it happened to me, i dont think i would make a post about it

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

sometimes when i see those posts, its kinda shocking, but people break up and get back together.

FH and i have never broken up, not even for a minute, but i know there are couples that do that often...if it happened to me, i dont think i would make a post about it

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I'd be totally distraught and embarassed if I had to call off my wedding and I'd tell as few people as possible until it was 10000000% true. I'd be especially scared to mention it in this huge public forum just in case we were overreacting and got over it later! But some people NEED to vent in order to be able to work through the situation. Maybe when some girls post things like that on here and we all talk to them it makes them more able to work through their problems. Plus, who wouldn't want to be a 2008 bride!?