soo ... it actually happened .. (vent)

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Posted by KellyGirl 2010

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Posted by Christine N Ralph

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Posted by JenBill61210

i might be the odd one out, but couldn't you just be happy for them? i understand you are getting married in close range but your wedding is first anyway.

just my opinion. don't crucify me!

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ITA...I understand that you are fustrated but I think by having this 'war' of the better wedding is childish. Be happy in the end people are going to think about you on your day and your FSIL on the other day...I wouldnt let this stress you out! If you want to make lemons into lemonade...take her to the vendors you are booking and try to get deals like that!

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I wont .... when we started this process fh's brother looked at his FH(now) and said 'don't get any idea's) .... fast forward ... they see all the attention and have a fight with my FH and decide to do this ,,.,, NOW I HAVE TO SHARE na e-party? they are both 21 .... very young .... I will not be 'sharing' venders ...in fact already called the photog and asked him not to take them ... he agreed ...

Maybe I am not a good person because I am pi$$ed ... thats ok with me ... FH and I will probably not be going to thier wedding either ... and he is taking his brother out of the wedding party ... this is not happening to you ... and this is spitful, and hurtful ... so let it begin! I am older and have a lot more experience being nasty and bit chy!!

I am the wrong person to pi$$ off ..

I am DONE CRYING! and will need you ladies to be there for me!!! I just increaded our budget by 10,000!!! let the spending begin!

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Well apparently there are issues that run deeper then just a wedding a few weeks after yours. If you feel the need to increase your budget to show people up...then that is your business. I am sorry if I offended you- but I dont agree with what you are doing.

my bro got engaged a few days after me.. but we both didntknow cuz wewere both on vacation. i wasnt upset at all. they are having their wedding in 4 MONTHS. im having it 8 months after theirs...in fact, when i went rh shopping(12 halls in 2 days ALONE) i also inquired bout their dates to help her plan.

i dont knwo the relationshipu have with the other couple...but dont go above your means $ just to show them up. it should be a happy time in both ur lives..
i understand how important it is for u.. but do everythingg with class.

this is reminding me of the beginning of borat movie..' i have window, he have window, i have steps he have steps.. i get ipod he get ipod' (something like that). lolol

just remember we're allll here for u!! ur wedding WILL be muuuuuuchhhh nicer just because ur on liw. u have 284930840 brides here to vent to, to calm u down and to give u amazzzing ideas.

so dont sweat it. !

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Posted by Christine N Ralph

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Posted by KellyGirl 2010

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Posted by Christine N Ralph

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Posted by JenBill61210

i might be the odd one out, but couldn't you just be happy for them? i understand you are getting married in close range but your wedding is first anyway.

just my opinion. don't crucify me!

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ITA...I understand that you are fustrated but I think by having this 'war' of the better wedding is childish. Be happy in the end people are going to think about you on your day and your FSIL on the other day...I wouldnt let this stress you out! If you want to make lemons into lemonade...take her to the vendors you are booking and try to get deals like that!

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I wont .... when we started this process fh's brother looked at his FH(now) and said 'don't get any idea's) .... fast forward ... they see all the attention and have a fight with my FH and decide to do this ,,.,, NOW I HAVE TO SHARE na e-party? they are both 21 .... very young .... I will not be 'sharing' venders ...in fact already called the photog and asked him not to take them ... he agreed ...

Maybe I am not a good person because I am pi$$ed ... thats ok with me ... FH and I will probably not be going to thier wedding either ... and he is taking his brother out of the wedding party ... this is not happening to you ... and this is spitful, and hurtful ... so let it begin! I am older and have a lot more experience being nasty and bit chy!!

I am the wrong person to pi$$ off ..

I am DONE CRYING! and will need you ladies to be there for me!!! I just increaded our budget by 10,000!!! let the spending begin!

---

Well apparently there are issues that run deeper then just a wedding a few weeks after yours. If you feel the need to increase your budget to show people up...then that is your business. I am sorry if I offended you- but I dont agree with what you are doing.

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I agree with Christine N Ralph. I don't want to offend anyone but the idea that another bride would want to make fellow bride's wedding suck and go so far as to call the photographer and ask them no to take them, seems to me to be very childish and immature. IMO life is too short and precious to waste so much energy on something like this. You are probably doing exactly what they want you to do. I'm sure she's not putting all this effort out to make your wedding miserable the way you are. Again I don't want to offend anyone and this is just my opinion. I wish you well with your wedding and am sure it will be beautiful and that day is yours and no one can take it from you. GL

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Posted by xxpazzaxx

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but..i think your priorities are in the wrong place. you have EVERY right to feel upset, but your wedding should be about you and your husband making a comittment to love one another for the rest of your lives. i think you are loosing sight of whats important here, and you shouldn't let ur future sis in law get to you. a wedding is not a show, and you shouldnt have to feel like u need to spend $10,000 more to make it better than someone elses. dont let this ruin your wedding planning, you will never get the time back. JMO

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ITA... You are allowing their wedding to overshadow your own wedding even to the two of you. It doesn't matter how much money you spend on yours, don't let their wedding ruin this experience for you.

Ugh. Just concentrat on your own wedding. Don't waste time or energy trying to outdo someone else. It's not worth it. Your day will be beautiful and perfect for you and FH, and their day will be beautiful and perfect for them. it doesn't mean you have to share he details though!

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Posted by AngeeM

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Posted by Christine N Ralph

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Posted by KellyGirl 2010

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Posted by Christine N Ralph

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Posted by JenBill61210

i might be the odd one out, but couldn't you just be happy for them? i understand you are getting married in close range but your wedding is first anyway.

just my opinion. don't crucify me!

---

ITA...I understand that you are fustrated but I think by having this 'war' of the better wedding is childish. Be happy in the end people are going to think about you on your day and your FSIL on the other day...I wouldnt let this stress you out! If you want to make lemons into lemonade...take her to the vendors you are booking and try to get deals like that!

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I wont .... when we started this process fh's brother looked at his FH(now) and said 'don't get any idea's) .... fast forward ... they see all the attention and have a fight with my FH and decide to do this ,,.,, NOW I HAVE TO SHARE na e-party? they are both 21 .... very young .... I will not be 'sharing' venders ...in fact already called the photog and asked him not to take them ... he agreed ...

Maybe I am not a good person because I am pi$$ed ... thats ok with me ... FH and I will probably not be going to thier wedding either ... and he is taking his brother out of the wedding party ... this is not happening to you ... and this is spitful, and hurtful ... so let it begin! I am older and have a lot more experience being nasty and bit chy!!

I am the wrong person to pi$$ off ..

I am DONE CRYING! and will need you ladies to be there for me!!! I just increaded our budget by 10,000!!! let the spending begin!

---

Well apparently there are issues that run deeper then just a wedding a few weeks after yours. If you feel the need to increase your budget to show people up...then that is your business. I am sorry if I offended you- but I dont agree with what you are doing.

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I agree with Christine N Ralph. I don't want to offend anyone but the idea that another bride would want to make fellow bride's wedding suck and go so far as to call the photographer and ask them no to take them, seems to me to be very childish and immature. IMO life is too short and precious to waste so much energy on something like this. You are probably doing exactly what they want you to do. I'm sure she's not putting all this effort out to make your wedding miserable the way you are. Again I don't want to offend anyone and this is just my opinion. I wish you well with your wedding and am sure it will be beautiful and that day is yours and no one can take it from you. GL

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btw .. I don;t want them to use the same photographer because I don;t want similar pictures ... I think thats resonable

Go get 'em girl!!!!

Having been through the process of having planned and had to cancel my wedding for family/financial reasons. I think everyone involved in this situation needs a little perspective. $10K is a lot of money. You can use it for your home, your life together, why use it to try to show someone else up? I would love to have the FIRST $10K to spend on my wedding, let alone an extra $10K to participate in a pointless bride war.

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Posted by HSsweethearts

Having been through the process of having planned and had to cancel my wedding for family/financial reasons. I think everyone involved in this situation needs a little perspective. $10K is a lot of money. You can use it for your home, your life together, why use it to try to show someone else up? I would love to have the FIRST $10K to spend on my wedding, let alone an extra $10K to participate in a pointless bride war.

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I agree... starting and participating in a bride war is pointless. Especially if you are older than the other bride. What kind of example does that give. It also makes it seem as though you might be a little bit jealous because she is a younger bride. And if that isn't the case you don't want to give that impression.

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Posted by soontobecruz

Talk about BRIDE WARS!!! Your is gonna kill theirs. Don't even stress it just lie to everyone about what ur doing keep everything a secret and know your is gonne be better. They are young are any of their parents concerned about that??

Oh and ps WEAR WHITE TO BOTH!

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Uh ohhh I hope you don't feel this way about our situation!!!!!!

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Posted by KellyGirl 2010

well ... as you all know my FH's brother got engaged valentines day and were planning on having the wedding a month after ours ...

well ... they have already booked ... only a few weeks after ours ...

SO NOW ITS ON! LIKE DONKEY KONG!!

they are having thier wedding on a sunday at 11:15am ....


I am going to turn my lemons into BIZATCH lemonade!!

We are going to make thier wedding look like a childrens party!! I know this is wrong ... but why must they ride our coat tails??!!

We will be bigger and best ... nobody will even remember whats his name;s wedding!!!

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dont want to get into an argument here, but that seems like a very immature thing to say... i mean, the wedding is AFTER yours... she wont be stealing your ideas, dress, etc.... why get so bent out of shape about it? and really, remember this will be your brother in law, fam you have to deal with for the rest of your life... its not the right approach to take IMO

I think it's clear that your issues with FH's brother are a lot deeper and more complex than just a wedding, so I'm not going to comment on how you feel about them getting married. It wouldn't bother me, but that is just me. I know that family things can be tough.

What I WOULD say is this:

Don't let this ruin your wedding or your finances. You can want your wedding to be better than theirs (and I'm sure it will because you have had more time than they have), but don't let 'topping' their wedding take over your planning process. Let your wedding be awesome and be great, but don't let this overshine your day and your planning.

Don't hate me...

I think you are acting HIGHLY immature if you have '10 years on them' and now increasing your budget by 10k. I think that your guest and family might get the hint or even know on your FH's side of the family what they (the other couple) is doing.

Do I think it is rude of them,,, yes. However don't forget this is about a MARRIAGE,,, not who's wedding is better. If you are in your 30's as you hinted at, then your priorities should be in order, not worrying about making your FBIL and FSIL's wedding look like a kids party.

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Posted by Kimbalina

I think you are acting HIGHLY immature if you have '10 years on them' and now increasing your budget by 10k. I think that your guest and family might get the hint or even know on your FH's side of the family what they (the other couple) is doing.

Do I think it is rude of them,,, yes. However don't forget this is about a MARRIAGE,,, not who's wedding is better. If you are in your 30's as you hinted at, then your priorities should be in order, not worrying about making your FBIL and FSIL's wedding look like a kids party.

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ITA!! This day is about you and your FH vowing to spend the rest of your lives together and celebrating that. It shouldn't matter if it takes place at the Waldorf Astoria or a petting zoo. I think in 5 years you'll wish you had that 'extra' $10K that you spent on things you didn't need. This isn't My Super Sweet 16...its your wedding.