This is pretty much a rhetorical question, because the way things are going right now, I don't think we are going to give the GM gifts.
As far as I'm concerned, and FH too for that matter, his sorry excuse for GM haven't done anything for him in this process. His brother, the BM, is the exception, and is the only one I think who should be given a gift.
His one friend is OOT, so we're not faulting him for not being able to come to the bach party, but he is also not able to come for the rehearsal, which is a little more of a big deal. But we understand he's OOT so that would be an issue. So he hasn't been involved in anything really, besides making me feel like shiz about FH not knowing his real name and giving me the wrong one to print in the programs.
His other GM is just an azzhole, and has caused nothing but issues. He's the one that ENCOURAGED FH to give me the wrong name for the other one, and got elective plastic surgery that requires his jaw to be wired shut done 3 weeks before the wedding. If that wasn't bad enough, he apparently went all psycho creepy serial killer at the bach party, because he has no social skills and is effed in the head, as evidenced by his plastic surgery obsession, and he didn't say a single word to anyone the whole night and just sat and stared at the wall. Oh, no, that's incorrect. He piped up only to request that he be paired down the aisle with the ugliest BM there is so that he wouldn't get nervous. EFF YOU BUDDY.
So FH is really considering to tell him he needs to step down. He's not physically going to be in the position to be in the wedding party, and psychologically he isn't stable enough to be holding such a role. However, if he doesn't throw him out, I am considering telling FH to tell him that he should just go home after the church rehearsal...there's no point in him coming to the restaurant to NOT eat and just make everyone uncomfortable by sitting there staring at the wall.
He hasn't been in a wedding or anything before, and I'm sure doesn't know from his behind that GM get gifts usually. The other GM won't even be there. And I don't think they deserve it because they've caused nothing but stress for FH, who is definitely taking it out on me.
I really just think we should get a really nice gift for FBIL and call it a day. This whole process has been so hurtful to us.
flairforfashion
Posted:
Member since
Re: Soo...is it ever OK to NOT...
Posted by coldasice217
I'm really done with this whole issue. I've had to do everything for this wedding by myself, and FH hasn't helped me with anything. Anything he has helped me on has been completely begrudgingly, and only after nagging him for weeks on end to do it.
So I'm just not going to remind him anymore. It's his GM, his personal issues with them, and not my problem. If he lets these next 3 weeks go by without picking something up for them on his own, of his own volition...well, oh well. I just cannot keep doing things for him because he needs to take care of his own issues.
I appreciate all the feedback. I'm just not going to wipe FH's behind on this one and do it for him, he needs to do right or not do right by them on his own.
I totally understand the frustration with your FH. I had to get my DH moving during the planning days... But honestly, I would make sure that gifts are purchased for the guys. You guys should do the right thing.
gonzalezm3
Posted:
Member since
Re: Soo...is it ever OK to NOT...
Maybe you can take them out to a dinner as a gift? I mean gifts are up to you. I would do something even as a little as paying 20 per their tuxedo rental or something. GL!
allegracristina
Posted:
Member since
Re: Soo...is it ever OK to NOT...
Posted by flairforfashion
Posted by coldasice217
I'm really done with this whole issue. I've had to do everything for this wedding by myself, and FH hasn't helped me with anything. Anything he has helped me on has been completely begrudgingly, and only after nagging him for weeks on end to do it.
So I'm just not going to remind him anymore. It's his GM, his personal issues with them, and not my problem. If he lets these next 3 weeks go by without picking something up for them on his own, of his own volition...well, oh well. I just cannot keep doing things for him because he needs to take care of his own issues.
I appreciate all the feedback. I'm just not going to wipe FH's behind on this one and do it for him, he needs to do right or not do right by them on his own.
I totally understand the frustration with your FH. I had to get my DH moving during the planning days... But honestly, I would make sure that gifts are purchased for the guys. You guys should do the right thing.
ITA.
gina409
Posted:
Member since
Re: Soo...is it ever OK to NOT...
i would get the gifts..even if its small..its just the rght thing to do
and if fh is really lacking on getting them,go in hs wallet,take the money out and go get them yourself
even if its a pain in the but,its one less thing u gotta do
BarbieGrl10
Posted:
Member since
Re: Soo...is it ever OK to NOT...
Posted by dazies1011
Posted by MrsDtoBe09
Posted by allegracristina
If you already know you're not giving the gifts why even bother asking?
Anyway, I think it's super rude not to give GM gifts. Even a small token, but SOMETHING! I mean come on! I don't think a couple of crappy groomsmen is a valid reason not to give the groomsmen gifts. I think you're reaching for reasons to justify not giving GM gifts. The RD isn't the only time people give gifts. A lot of people have OOT bridal parties that aren't able to make the RD, so a lot of people give the gifts on the wedding day. Some people even mail out the gifts ahead of time so they have them (that's what I did). You've obviously already decided just to give the two gifts you mentioned, so I don't know you even bother posting this. Like I said, it really seems like you just want to justify not giving the gifts.
ITA...all you have to do is just give a little something.
ITA
ITA! And I bought the GM gifts. I did the research and then gave Dh a few options to choose from. For something so small it shouldnt be a huge issue. If your Fh was in a wedding and one person got a gift but he didnt how would he feel? You picked these people for a reason to stand up there with you.... that must count for something.
little34
Posted:
Member since
Re: Soo...is it ever OK to NOT...
I will second the sentiment that everyone is saying and tell you yes you need to get them something...they are still paying for the tuxes/suit rental or what ever it is you have them wearing that day...if you are not happy with their behavior then FH should ask them to step down. A lot can happen from the time you ask someone to be in the BP to the time you get married so it is fine to ask them to not be in the BP but to not get them something is not right.
ttdiff11
Posted:
Member since
Re: Soo...is it ever OK to NOT...
Posted by BarbieGrl10
Posted by dazies1011
Posted by MrsDtoBe09
Posted by allegracristina
If you already know you're not giving the gifts why even bother asking?
Anyway, I think it's super rude not to give GM gifts. Even a small token, but SOMETHING! I mean come on! I don't think a couple of crappy groomsmen is a valid reason not to give the groomsmen gifts. I think you're reaching for reasons to justify not giving GM gifts. The RD isn't the only time people give gifts. A lot of people have OOT bridal parties that aren't able to make the RD, so a lot of people give the gifts on the wedding day. Some people even mail out the gifts ahead of time so they have them (that's what I did). You've obviously already decided just to give the two gifts you mentioned, so I don't know you even bother posting this. Like I said, it really seems like you just want to justify not giving the gifts.
ITA...all you have to do is just give a little something.
ITA
ITA! And I bought the GM gifts. I did the research and then gave Dh a few options to choose from. For something so small it shouldnt be a huge issue. If your Fh was in a wedding and one person got a gift but he didnt how would he feel? You picked these people for a reason to stand up there with you.... that must count for something.
i did the same thing and since fh works soo much, i ended up picking it up for him lol. i agree about wat u said about gettting a gift as well.
