Speaking of Ex's...

Jennifer907 Posted: Sep 12, 2007 10:31 PM

Speaking of Ex's...

Ok, a little background. FH and I have known each other since I was 14 (now 23). We dated off and on since then, just getting really serious in 2005. One of FH's ex and I became very close due to some hurtful things he did to both of us when he was in his immature player years. Everyone thought it was weird that her and I were close. She ended up dating one of his friends and the 4 of us were inseparable. She even 'wanted to marry him' after FH got engaged. Well, it turns out she just couldn't get over FH and that's why she was dating his friend. Because her and I had a fight once, stopped talking, and very shortly thereafter they broke up. Everyone told me, but I refused to see it.

Well, today I log in to myspace and have a message from her:
Hello Jen, I just wanted to stop in and wish you both the best of luck on your wedding day. It came so fast. I know we have had our differences but i felt that i should put it aside and wish you luck in you marrage. Hope you enjoy your special day. Congrats too you.

I really hope he continues to treat you right.

Best wishs and many happy years together.

Enjoy your honeymoon. not sure where you guys are going but if i know you it's some place wonderful and peaceful and really nice.

WHAT?!?! I don't even know how to respond. This girl tried sabotaging mine and FHs relationship many times over. What the heck do I say to that?

PegaLega Posted: Sep 12, 2007 10:34 PM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

Im torn, i dont know if she is still in the 'mind set' as before...but it seems like she was at least trying to congratulate you-even if it seems like a stretch for her.

I would just say Thanks

Regal Beagle Posted: Sep 12, 2007 10:34 PM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

What's with that comment about 'I hope he continues treating you right'?

I would ignore it!!!

What a jealous thing! Doesn't sound sincere to me!

She might be fishing for info.

jjk1007 Posted: Sep 12, 2007 10:43 PM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

I honestly wouldnt even reply to it. I would just delete it and move on.

Thats very weird, and random that she would send that message to you now. You dont know if shes being sincere or not. I think youre better off just not touching the situation.

Marly Posted: Sep 12, 2007 10:50 PM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

Don't respond, just let it and her go, you need to cut her off for good.....FH and You should just live your lives, be Happy and don't let her back into your lives.

mfiorent Posted: Sep 12, 2007 10:52 PM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

Hmm. I wouldn't respond/ might be looking for information especially about the honeymoon locale haha

KandR419 Posted: Sep 12, 2007 11:06 PM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

I agree, I wouldn't respond. While maybe she has changed and moved on, I wouldn't want to take that risk. And that's not any type of stress you want or need right now either.

Aug07OFCbride Posted: Sep 13, 2007 12:00 AM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

i guess im in the minority here..that sounded like a genuine congratulations and you dont need to start talking again and be friends or anything, but id give her the benefit of the doubt...im a forgiving person...id acknowledge it with a very short 'thank you for the well wishes' and leave it at that.

paulaboo Posted: Sep 13, 2007 01:03 AM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

I think something short and sweet also... like was stated before: Thanks for the well wishes.

and done...close the chapter.

tricia3381 Posted: Sep 13, 2007 06:08 AM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

Posted by paulaboo

I think something short and sweet also... like was stated before: Thanks for the well wishes.

and done...close the chapter.

agreed

OrangeGrl Posted: Sep 13, 2007 06:59 AM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

WOW, um...just say 'Thanks...' and LEAVE IT ALONE! You won...just remember that

diva7531 Posted: Sep 13, 2007 07:03 AM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

Posted by Aug07OFCbride

i guess im in the minority here..that sounded like a genuine congratulations and you dont need to start talking again and be friends or anything, but id give her the benefit of the doubt...im a forgiving person...id acknowledge it with a very short 'thank you for the well wishes' and leave it at that.

I agree with Peg and JEss, just say Thank you

danniegirl Posted: Sep 13, 2007 07:55 AM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

dont even respond - she is jealous! she really needs to move on and get a life!

DeannaNDave07 Posted: Sep 13, 2007 08:14 AM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

i wouldnt respond to it either... it might just create something else. you want it to just end there. cut ties and move on.. IMO

ido07 Posted: Sep 13, 2007 08:28 AM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

Posted by jjk1007

I honestly wouldnt even reply to it. I would just delete it and move on.

Thats very weird, and random that she would send that message to you now. You dont know if shes being sincere or not. I think youre better off just not touching the situation.

Totally agree...delete it and don't respond...

AMGBride2008 Posted: Sep 13, 2007 08:46 AM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

Keep it short.. just say 'Thanks' and be done with it... try not to look too much into the message.

TnOiOnL Posted: Sep 13, 2007 08:49 AM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

Posted by AMGBride2008

Keep it short.. just say 'Thanks' and be done with it... try not to look too much into the message.

Agreed... I personally would acknowledge it because I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and just show that you appreciate the gesture. But THATS ALL! MOVE ON!

August12 Posted: Sep 13, 2007 08:50 AM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

Dont respond!

Kara and Todd Posted: Sep 13, 2007 08:52 AM

Re: Speaking of Ex's...

You ignore it. You ignore it and just go on with your life. Delete the comment from your MySpace page, too.

She's clearly still a little bit stalkerish if she's remembering the wedding date and thought sometime close to the wedding date would be an appropriate time to contact you.

Others may disagree with me, but I'd just ignore it. Yes, it's possible she just happened to be thinking it would be your wedding day and is trying to make nice... but you're a little too busy these days to deal with any potential drama, I'd imagine. I'd just let it go for now, personally.

I had an ex-boyfriend (from HS, mind you) who married my former best friend from HS. (No falling out, we just grew apart). He would IM me periodically - more frequently as the wedding got closer. I never understood WHY (possibly to rub in the wedding or maybe his wedding made him feel nostalgic?? I didn't have any desire to contact my ex's before my wedding....) I just was cordial, short, and ignored it... then it stopped.

For now, deal with your wedding. If you want her back in your life later on, deal with it then. The next week and a half will be stressful enough - just forget about her for the time being.