Speaking of In-Laws (VERY LONG!)
This is long, thanks for being patient....
We've been engaged since March, 2003. We've been through a lot in that time, dealing with our wedding plans plus both of our fathers falling ill and ultimately leaving us (his in November, 2003, mine in February 2004).
I've tried to do a good job keeping his family in the loop. But I think they think I'm a prima donna because I'm planning this big New York wedding and since they are from New Mexico (originally from New York) they just DON'T GET IT!
During our last year of engagement, FH's sister became engaged in November, 2003 planning her wedding for February, 2004. But then she postponed it to June 2004. Then in February, we found out she was pregant due in October 2004 (1 month before our wedding).
We have bent over backwards to accomodate FSIL's schedule -- bridal shower in March, 2004, out of town wedding in Colorado in June, 2004, sent gift for baby shower last weekend -- could not make another trip without losing vacation time for my own wedding/honeymoon.
Throughout all this, there has been some disagreements about whether FSIL was coming to our wedding. At first she insisted she was, even though the baby was due less than a month before. Then we find out she was planning on bringing the baby. This started a whole thing because we are not having kids nevermind infants at our wedding. After her wedding, she understood that. They had a very small wedding (20 people), and most of the 100+ family from the East Coast did not go.
Now her due date has been moved to late September, great! She is still on the fence about whether she is coming. Financially, it's an issue, but we offered to lend them the money. I can understand its hard for her to think about traveling with her baby and then using a sitter, OR leaving her husband and baby at home for 2 days (she can fly in Friday, and leave on Sunday). But it is her brother's wedding!
So the latest in this saga, now that you have the background:
FMIL calls last night, and after discussing other family matters, FH asks if his Mom got anything good in the mail lately (hello? -- our wedding invitation! -- you'd think she'd have called for that).
She says 'No, why.' So FH says 'Oh nothing, just curious, nevermind.'
They talk a little longer, and then all of the sudden she says 'OH! Your invitation, yes I got it -- very nice, very fancy!'
Then she says 'Patty (FSIL) and I loved the seal -- we thought that was cool!' (We did custom inital wax seals.)
So FH says, 'That's just a hint at what the wedding will be like. I'm glad Patty liked it -- maybe it will convince her to come to the wedding.'
His Mom says,' well they are very nervous about bringing the baby on a plane so young.' (Umm...this wasn't a problem when they wanted to bring the baby TO the wedding.)
FH says 'We know that, but why doesn't she come by herself -- she can fly in Friday, and leave on Sunday.'
His Mom says, 'she's planning to breast feed.'
FH says 'That's what they make breast pumps for...'
Then his mother says....
'Plus Patty really wants Darren (her husband) to come so he can meet the whole family!'
Umm...Hello!...does she want to come to our wedding because she wants to see her only brother get married or because she wants to show off her new husband to her family and her brother's wedding makes that convenient!
Am I wrong to be hurt, upset, annoyed and pissed?
FH of course doesn't care what her reason is, he justs wants his sister at his wedding. Of course I understand that, but as an outsider, I can't help but be pretty hurt and upset over her priorities.
We've been engaged since March, 2003. We've been through a lot in that time, dealing with our wedding plans plus both of our fathers falling ill and ultimately leaving us (his in November, 2003, mine in February 2004).
I've tried to do a good job keeping his family in the loop. But I think they think I'm a prima donna because I'm planning this big New York wedding and since they are from New Mexico (originally from New York) they just DON'T GET IT!
During our last year of engagement, FH's sister became engaged in November, 2003 planning her wedding for February, 2004. But then she postponed it to June 2004. Then in February, we found out she was pregant due in October 2004 (1 month before our wedding).
We have bent over backwards to accomodate FSIL's schedule -- bridal shower in March, 2004, out of town wedding in Colorado in June, 2004, sent gift for baby shower last weekend -- could not make another trip without losing vacation time for my own wedding/honeymoon.
Throughout all this, there has been some disagreements about whether FSIL was coming to our wedding. At first she insisted she was, even though the baby was due less than a month before. Then we find out she was planning on bringing the baby. This started a whole thing because we are not having kids nevermind infants at our wedding. After her wedding, she understood that. They had a very small wedding (20 people), and most of the 100+ family from the East Coast did not go.
Now her due date has been moved to late September, great! She is still on the fence about whether she is coming. Financially, it's an issue, but we offered to lend them the money. I can understand its hard for her to think about traveling with her baby and then using a sitter, OR leaving her husband and baby at home for 2 days (she can fly in Friday, and leave on Sunday). But it is her brother's wedding!
So the latest in this saga, now that you have the background:
FMIL calls last night, and after discussing other family matters, FH asks if his Mom got anything good in the mail lately (hello? -- our wedding invitation! -- you'd think she'd have called for that).
She says 'No, why.' So FH says 'Oh nothing, just curious, nevermind.'
They talk a little longer, and then all of the sudden she says 'OH! Your invitation, yes I got it -- very nice, very fancy!'
Then she says 'Patty (FSIL) and I loved the seal -- we thought that was cool!' (We did custom inital wax seals.)
So FH says, 'That's just a hint at what the wedding will be like. I'm glad Patty liked it -- maybe it will convince her to come to the wedding.'
His Mom says,' well they are very nervous about bringing the baby on a plane so young.' (Umm...this wasn't a problem when they wanted to bring the baby TO the wedding.)
FH says 'We know that, but why doesn't she come by herself -- she can fly in Friday, and leave on Sunday.'
His Mom says, 'she's planning to breast feed.'
FH says 'That's what they make breast pumps for...'
Then his mother says....
'Plus Patty really wants Darren (her husband) to come so he can meet the whole family!'
Umm...Hello!...does she want to come to our wedding because she wants to see her only brother get married or because she wants to show off her new husband to her family and her brother's wedding makes that convenient!
Am I wrong to be hurt, upset, annoyed and pissed?
FH of course doesn't care what her reason is, he justs wants his sister at his wedding. Of course I understand that, but as an outsider, I can't help but be pretty hurt and upset over her priorities.
