Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
JimmysBride
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Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
When my DH went away for his Bachelor Party, he did something somewhat 'questionable' as some of you might remember. Well, that's not what this is about. My DH came right out and told me what he did, which I appreciated. However, his behavior was very out of character for him and it made me wonder what else went on at that BP.
So, yeah, I admit it! I did it -- I called my little brother who was also in attendance and threatened to pummel him if he didn't dish ALL the dirt of that weekend and sure enough, he sang like a canary.
Now, I don't know for a fact that my brother told me EVERYTHING but he did tell me that my cousin's DH of 4 yrs, our Best Man, made out with some chick in this hotel room. In my book, that constitutes cheating. Not only was I furious at the BM, I was upset that DH did not tell me this. After his 'questionable' behavior admission, he told me he had told me everything there was to know about the BP.
But I was honest and told DH that I pryed my little brother for any extra dirt and I asked DH if there was anything else he wanted to tell me. And to this day, he still says no. So I have not told him that I know about our BMs indiscretions (I kinda promised my brother too). I also have not told ANYONE else, including his wife, my cousin, with whom he has 2 kids.
I know this would cause a world of hurt and problems for them. Why would I want to be the cause of that? My cousin would probably turn on me, and her DH would definitely turn on MY DH. My DH would be furious with ME for telling also. He would lose a friend too. BUT... she is my cousin and we are close, and he did wrong her. I decided this is way too ugly and I am staying way way out of it.
But... it still bugs me a little that DH has still never told me about this incident. It makes me think that he actually holds to that mysterious 'man code of ethics' that I know is out there.
Anyway, would you speak up in this situation?
MuchInLuvMichi
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
no way, id keep my mouth shut...let it die..u cant control other pple..and it wont get u any 'friends' in the process only enemies
don424
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
the code exists -- in the man rule book -- you NEVER rat out your friends, under ANY circumstance
if they want to come clean, that's their business
ambersmom
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
I can answer that. Bob has a cousin who was married in 96'. Shortly after they were married, the four of us got together to go jetskiing. While lying on the beach as the boys played with their toys, the wife admitted when I asked her how married life was, that she had 'met someone' at a club and had been 'only kissing him, meeting him for lunch, etc.'. It turned my stomach and I couldn't look at her in the same way. At the end of the day when the guys went to go get the trailers, she asked me to lie for her and tell her hubby she had to go to the bathroom because she was going to go call the 'new' man in her life. I hated being put in that situation. Bob could tell as we were leaving something was wrong because I was very, very quiet. I told him what was going on but he decided to say/do nothing about it. Fast forward to 2002. The cousin and wife had separated for about a year and then got back together. Things seemed good between them; they had a daughter (that I still question if it's really his) and bought a house. House had an apartment in it and they had rented it out to Bob's cousins other cousin on his father's side of the family. Well, within weeks of cousin moving in, Alley cat wife was kickin' it with him. Even got 'caught' in a compromising situation by cousin's brother and father. Everyone suspected it; everyone knew it but it couldn't be proven. Anyway, Alley Cat calls me one day asking if I can 'cover' for her and say we're going to take a weekend ski trip together so that her and cousin's cousin can have 'quality' time together. She admitted being in love with him (mind you this guy was a total slimeball; in and out of jail, drug addict, you name it on top of banging his cousin's wife IN HIS HOUSE) and that they had been sexually involved for awhile. That was it; I told Bob and I called cousin's father who had seen her 'lying' in bed with other cousin (they were dressed and had just 'finished'). He had a talk with cousin and cousin blew into a massive rage. He blamed everyone around him for making false accusations against his saintly wife. He tried to turn the tables on me and accuse me of having an affair with the cousin and then trying to pin my actions on his wife. It was insane. We got threatening calls, you name it. He still doesn't talk to his own brother/father because brother/father verified that they caught her lying in the bed with cousin. Everyone but him knew the truth. Well, comes to be that he's now divorced from her and remarried to someone else with another kid. Who knows what the real outcome of their marriage was; why they broke up. Maybe he caught her himself? The point is, he still will not speak with us or his own family. Maybe it's pride, maybe it's stupidity. Lesson learned. I should have let him play the fool instead of trying to protect him from being hurt from this huss again. It didn't pay to be the nice guy.
Kathy116
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
Are you sure that your DH would know? I know is was his bachelor party, but is it possible that the BM slipped away with this chick and your little brother knew, but not your DH?
Are you really close with your cousin? Maybe you could bring up the bachelor party, and fish around to see if she knows? Is it possilbe that she may already know or have suspicions, but is just too embarrassed to tell you what her DH did?
violet
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
I would not get involved. I mean, I don't know, are you REALLY close with your cousin? I just believe in the end, you'll be the one who everyone will get mad at, and it might not be worth it.
Ugh, the stories I have heard about bachelor parties. At one that my brother and friend's husband went to, the groom slept with the stripper. M sister told me about that because my brother told my sister-in-law about it, and she told her. My sister also told me at one her husband went to that he told her, the groom (his cousin's husband) slept with the stripper and the stripper had a line of guys waiting to get a BJ. My BIL never told the cousin because he wasn't that close with her and didn't want to be involved.
Kathy116
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
Posted by violet
I would not get involved. I mean, I don't know, are you REALLY close with your cousin? I just believe in the end, you'll be the one who everyone will get mad at, and it might not be worth it.
Ugh, the stories I have heard about bachelor parties. At one that my brother and friend's husband went to, the groom slept with the stripper. M sister told me about that because my brother told my sister-in-law about it, and she told her. My sister also told me at one her husband went to that he told her, the groom (his cousin's husband) slept with the stripper and the stripper had a line of guys waiting to get a BJ. My BIL never told the cousin because he wasn't that close with her and didn't want to be involved.
I was feeling sick reading this...uggghhh, that's horrible.
don424
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
to me, it's all a matter of trust between the bride and groom
violet
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
To my knowledge, there was no stripper at my husband's bachelor party. He had a friend or two who had wives that would be mad if they had a stripper. I actually encouraged going to a strip club because I am really opposed to when they rent out a hall for a bachelor party because if they get a stripper, it's really unsupervised. I mean, he probably did and is not telling me for his and his friend's sake, but I do know they had midget tossing. THey were so excited about that.
Bebalina
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
I vote tell your DH that you know and leave it alone.... tooo sticky a situation...
don424
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
Posted by violet
To my knowledge, there was no stripper at my husband's bachelor party. He had a friend or two who had wives that would be mad if they had a stripper. I actually encouraged going to a strip club because I am really opposed to when they rent out a hall for a bachelor party because if they get a stripper, it's really unsupervised. I mean, he probably did and is not telling me for his and his friend's sake, but I do know they had midget tossing. THey were so excited about that.
not one to judge, but stuff like this really irks me
beautyq115
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
This is why Bachelor Parties bother me sooooo much! They should be banned!!
When my cousin got married her DH had some big golf weekend away some where. My cousin (her brother) refused to go because he knew questionable behavior would be going on. I have just heard tid bits about what went on..but apparently one of the groomsmen dissapeared for a day or so...no one knows where he went or I guess he won't say...he eventually surfaced...with hickys all over his neck...and he is a married man.
I have heard my guy friends talk about the stripper going to a private room and having people pay her for sexual favors.
The whole thing DISGUSTS ME TO NO END!
don424
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
Posted by beautyq115
This is why Bachelor Parties bother me sooooo much! They should be banned!!
When my cousin got married her DH had some big golf weekend away some where. My cousin (her brother) refused to go because he knew questionable behavior would be going on. I have just heard tid bits about what went on..but apparently one of the groomsmen dissapeared for a day or so...no one knows where he went or I guess he won't say...he eventually surfaced...with hickys all over his neck...and he is a married man.
I have heard my guy friends talk about the stripper going to a private room and having people pay her for sexual favors.
The whole thing DISGUSTS ME TO NO END!
banned??? are you serious?
june262004
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
Its all trust. If a man is really in love with you he wouldnt go sleeping around with woman. Mike had a bachelor party they went to Atlantic City went to a few strip clubs. A few all nude ones you know the ones that don't serve alcohol. He told me about the lap dances... the being called on stage....everything. Thats the kind of relationship we have. NOW if he were to sleep with one of them not only would that be (who knows how many other people she has slept with) but whats the point of getting married?
Now I didn't vote on the poll because Im not sure what I would do. I have heard stories even about guys in strip clubs doing things. Thats rough.
Sassyz75
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
Thank god my DH didn't have a B party!!!
don424
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
Posted by Sassyz75
Thank god my DH didn't have a B party!!!
why?
violet
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
Posted by don424
Posted by violet
To my knowledge, there was no stripper at my husband's bachelor party. He had a friend or two who had wives that would be mad if they had a stripper. I actually encouraged going to a strip club because I am really opposed to when they rent out a hall for a bachelor party because if they get a stripper, it's really unsupervised. I mean, he probably did and is not telling me for his and his friend's sake, but I do know they had midget tossing. THey were so excited about that.
not one to judge, but stuff like this really irks me
Do you mean midget tossing? What?
violet
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
Posted by june262004
Its all trust. If a man is really in love with you he wouldnt go sleeping around with woman. Mike had a bachelor party they went to Atlantic City went to a few strip clubs. A few all nude ones you know the ones that don't serve alcohol. He told me about the lap dances... the being called on stage....everything. Thats the kind of relationship we have. NOW if he were to sleep with one of them not only would that be (who knows how many other people she has slept with) but whats the point of getting married?
Now I didn't vote on the poll because Im not sure what I would do. I have heard stories even about guys in strip clubs doing things. Thats rough.
I think it's good the all-nude strip clubs are juice bars. A lot of guys don't see the fun in hanging out at a strip club if you can't even have a beer. I guess then they'll be sober and be like, wow this is lame.
june262004
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
Posted by don424
Posted by Sassyz75
Thank god my DH didn't have a B party!!!
why?
Don I think I actually Agree with you. Its all in good fun if you have that TRUST!
don424
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Re: Spinoff of Kathy's Poll: Similar situation - cheating husbands, bachelor parties, & secrets...LONG
Posted by june262004
Posted by don424
Posted by Sassyz75
Thank god my DH didn't have a B party!!!
why?
Don I think I actually Agree with you. Its all in good fun if you have that TRUST!
i love when people say they agree with me, the say, 'hey don, i 'actually' agree with you'
