Spinoff to going away without FH...

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Posted by Ilovebriani

FH is cool with it. i go away with my girls from work every year. the past 2 years we went to South Beach...we are deciding where to go this year. he gets a little uneasy i guess but he would never not let me go. he likes knowing i am out with my girls having fun, b/c i dont always get a chance to do that. then he gets a chance to hang out with his guys while i am away, so we both have fun. I also go away with my sisters sometimes. and again, he is cool with it.

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i just want to add that him being uneasy is not at all a trust thing...he just worries knowing i am out late and walking around in a weird city where he can't be there to make sure i am okay. its def. not a trust thing...just wanted to clarify

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Posted by beachbum05

He encourages it, actually.

One of the most important things to us is maintaining our own individual friendships. We've both talked about it a lot, and we both want to be able to hang out with other couples (his married friends or my married friends), but also able to have our own friends separate from our relationship.

I've seen so many people that become completely isolated once they get married. While that does have its plusses (intimacy, building really strong bonds, etc.) I think it's also equally as important to be able to have a network of people on the outside that you can take weekend trips with and have 'girl time.'

This is just me, but I feel like I will be with my FH forever, and we'll spend 90% of our time together (outside of work, etc). For me, I owe it to myself to designate some time to working on my childhood and college friendships and making sure that those people remain a strong part of my life.

I don't plan on going away with them every weekend, but I intend to schedule at least a few weekends, or 1 week a year to spend time with my friends. I hope that my FH will do the same.

I never want to become so dependent on my FH that I have no one else to turn to.... Don't get me wrong, I always turn to FH - he's my rock, but I think there's something special about spending bonding time with your girlfriends. I never want to lose that.

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VERY WELL SAID!!! i agree 100%...i think it is very healthy for a relationship to do this, you still are your own individual and doing your own thing helps the relationship out

FH would totally let me go away he doesnt care at all...he would probably be jealous though and not in a bad way but jealous that I am going away and he isnt...it would def depend on where cause if it was somewhere in a not so great area then he would prob not like it cause it would not be safe and not knowing how safe i am and if i am okay- but i always call him when i get home from going out and let him know i am safe and sound haha

i wanna go away on vacation---jessie we totally should---but FH will be in Japan for a whole year so he will prob be jealous that he cant leave Japan and go anywhere...

but he totally wouldnt mind at all...

now me on the other hand...I mean we both trust each other...but he likes to flirt not intentionally he just has that flirty personality haha so it depends on where and it depends on who he goes with- like if he goes with his brother or his close friends then no its fine...but if he goes with his cousins-- ughh NO its NOT OK haha-- and he even knows it cause his cousins want to get an actual hooker for his bacholer party

I DONT THINK SOOOOO

FH and I would both be fine with it... I am home on LI every summer break while he stays in Pittsburgh, and we will only see each other maybe once during that 2-3 month span. It's actually cool because then when we are finally back together we are so happy! It gives me something to look forward to when the summer is over!
Also, FH just went to Alcapulco a few weeks ago with some of his fraternity brothers for spring break, and I was fine with it! We both trust each other completely, and think it's good to have our own lives and not have to do every single thing together!

I've gone away pleanty of time without FH and he has gone away without me. We trust eachother.

oh he he doesn't have to 'let' me do anything. I will do what I want. He can tell me how he feels but not what I can and cant do.

Well....I will be going to Italy this summer for 3 weeks. Of course he was upset that I'd be gone for so long. When I went in 2005 I only went for 2 weeks which was the shorts amount of time I have ever gone to Italy for. I have lots of family there. I have my whole mom's side of the family. I explain to him that unlike him....my grandma does not live with us so I do not get to see her like he sees his grandma. So he understands. I also have 10 first cousins who are all around my age. One of them is actually getting married this summer.

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Posted by Espo22

he is ok with it. He used to be jealous, but he would never say no you cant go or anything like that, he would just get worried thinking of it and what might go wrong, but i am so proud of him bc he is completely ok with these things now, well proud of him for a couple of reasons bc he overcame alot of things and this was one of them, has to do with alot more but wont get into that.

Even when I brought up going somewhere with my friends but then i was like no nevermind i shouldnt spend the money, he is the one who convinced me to go he was like listen go with your friends why not, and besides you dont spend money lol which i dont spend alot since i dont drink and dont do alot of things.

I told him i would like to go to vegas or somewhere for bachelorette party and he trusts me...He says he knows where i stand and knows i wouldn't do anything to him or to disrespect our relationship

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my FH is the same way - tells me to do whatever I want (not that he doesnt care) but that we are adults and have no reason not to trust each other and if we dont, we shouldnt be getting married

he also feels bad because he works so much so if the opportunity comes up for me to go somewhere, he tells me to to!

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Posted by Snowflake08

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Posted by Espo22

he is ok with it. He used to be jealous, but he would never say no you cant go or anything like that, he would just get worried thinking of it and what might go wrong, but i am so proud of him bc he is completely ok with these things now, well proud of him for a couple of reasons bc he overcame alot of things and this was one of them, has to do with alot more but wont get into that.

Even when I brought up going somewhere with my friends but then i was like no nevermind i shouldnt spend the money, he is the one who convinced me to go he was like listen go with your friends why not, and besides you dont spend money lol which i dont spend alot since i dont drink and dont do alot of things.

I told him i would like to go to vegas or somewhere for bachelorette party and he trusts me...He says he knows where i stand and knows i wouldn't do anything to him or to disrespect our relationship

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my FH is the same way - tells me to do whatever I want (not that he doesnt care) but that we are adults and have no reason not to trust each other and if we dont, we shouldnt be getting married

he also feels bad because he works so much so if the opportunity comes up for me to go somewhere, he tells me to to!

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thats how i see it, if he didnt trust me then why marry me...I know some couples who are extremely afraid if the other one goes out alone, so they always make sure to do everything together...Now here is my thing, you think the only way they wont cheat on you is if you spend every second with them? then why are you with them bc obviously you think the second they are away they will do something, i wouldn't want to live like that and live in that fear of it happening any moment

I dont think that it is always about trusting the person. For example, Fh wouldnt want me to go to a spring break type place bc he is disgusted by how people act there and would not want me around that - especially if i will be drinking and possibly put myself in a dangerous situation

Also - we never went away without each other and I am fine with that - especially now that I have a limited number of days off from work, i would rather save them ( and my $$$) for a nice long romantic vacation with him.

If you knew us, and our personalities - you would get it more. . .we are just homebodies in general

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Posted by ant n tilde

I dont think that it is always about trusting the person. For example, Fh wouldnt want me to go to a spring break type place bc he is disgusted by how people act there and would not want me around that - especially if i will be drinking and possibly put myself in a dangerous situation

Also - we never went away without each other and I am fine with that - especially now that I have a limited number of days off from work, i would rather save them ( and my $$$) for a nice long romantic vacation with him.

If you knew us, and our personalities - you would get it more. . .we are just homebodies in general

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no its not always about trust, for some its just about how they are like you said, you are homebodies...i gave an example of people i know that dont go out without eachother bc they dont trust the other person. I mean its more based on an individual basis. If its your own choice to do so then that is different...but to doit bc of trust issues then i think its wrong.

and im not talking about going out and partying all the time either...I shouldnt even talk, not like i go out often anymore, i went out for my MOH birthdayrecently and thats it...hard with all of our schedules though and all of us saving up for houses, marriage, or whatever ya know.

Theres also the opposite extreme, where all someone does is party without their SO, and spends too much partying with friends then that is wrong too and they shouldn't be in a relationship...There should be a good balance, still see friends do things together and this doesnt mean partying either, some prefer doing a nice quiet dinner, going over someones house, shopping or whatever...Its good to have your own thing to do.

I go out usually 2 times a month with my chicas! It used to be more, but now we have to save!!

It usually ends up---since we live together---that the nights I go out with my friends, FH ends up having a poker night or just a guy night in general!

Mind you, the next day when I'm hungover, I have to clean up beer and salsa....