spinoff to mrsdtobe : Poll : do you come from a broken home? (kinda long)

Original post by gabbie83

Mar 13, 2008 09:38 PM

Reading those posts made me really sad. I know that some parents remarried and I know some of you are happy that you have a stepmom or stepdad, but isnt it sad the amount of people that get divorced? why? Is is because people give up faster? do you just walk down the street and fall in love with someone else? I know that we're all crazy about our weddings and everything, but our weddings are only the beginning, then real life starts, (for some of us who live with FH, real life and real problems already started) it just makes me sad that some people just give up so easily. I honestly dont understand, ofcourse i understand domestic/emotional abuse, alcohol, drugs, heavy gambling and cheating BUT why/how does this happen? I am taking an example of a normal couple lets say, who have lived together before marriage or are together for 3 or x number of years and then x years later : BOOM : I have an alcohol problem, or Hey Hunny I dont love you anymore ??? I know I must sound crazy writing this, but divorce just breaks my heart. (i know in some cases theres no other way)
I just dont get this: how people always say 'Oh dont think you can change him after you're married' ..... so you cant change him for the better but he can change for the worse? That's just great!!!!
Maybe im just blabbing on and on, i just needed to get it out.

By the way, im not some naive girl who thinks Oh he'll never ever do that. i dont', i take my moms advice of 'Marriage is a lottery' - bc in a way it is. You just never know.
I know im contradicting myself here. So Ill just stop typing.
I know everyone thinks its forever when they get married, no one thinks about divorce, its just sad that down the road some people grow apart, dont work on their relationships and just give up :(

Oki im done

Lucky0510 Posted: Mar 13, 2008 10:29 PM

Re: spinoff to mrsdtobe : Poll : do you come from a broken home? (kinda long)

Posted by Espo22

Posted by Lucky0510

i think nowadays people realize they don't have to suffer through a terrible relationship. people change. they can change for the better or worse. unfortunately... sometimes the worse is just unbearable. in the past - it was socially unacceptable to divorce. so people lived in misery.

i know almost everyone will think i am wrong but...i think divorce is a great thing. it's a second chance for people to be happy. you can only put so much into a relationship before realizing that it just won't work... it could be all sorts or reasons or just one reason.

i don't take divorce lightly... i just think its better for someone to be happy then stay miserable. I have seen parents that hate each other stay together for their children's sake... I don't see how they could possibly think staying together... living in a hostile environment is better for the kids then putting them through a divorce. If you ask me it is much worse.

very good point! people say that nowadays divorce is so high and whats wrong with people now. But your point explains it all and i truly believe it. Back in the days people stayed together even when they were miserable, its just the way it was. Now that divorce is more acceptable people feel they have the choice to leave rather than stay in an unhappy marraige. I agree with it though. I honestly thought my mom should've left earlier, it really bothered me to see her going through what she did and deal with what she did. I love my dad with all my heart and he has been the greatest father BUT as a husband he is not great lol and very hard to deal with. I give her so much credit for sticking it out so long, i was proud to see her stand up for herself like that and not take it anymore. I am also glad to not see them fight like that anymore, its so true that when a child has to sit there and deal with that and hear the fights and hear them insult eachother and put eachother down, it really doesn't help.

i def understand that. my parents are still together (over 25 years) but neither of them are happy. growing up they would fight all the time... they still do. I don't know why they haven't divorced but I really wish my mom would realize that she deserves to be happy. I think it is sad when people don't realize that divorce can be a great thing rather then something terrible.