Spinoff to Pre-Cana post

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Posted by carlsbride

Yes-it is called a convalidation.

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can you please let me know in 'layman’s' terms what that means?

do we have to promise to raise our kids Catholic?

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Posted by dleeny

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Posted by carlsbride

Yes-it is called a convalidation.

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can you please let me know in 'layman’s' terms what that means?

do we have to promise to raise our kids Catholic?

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I have to think yes. Even though I'm not Catholic and DH received a dispensation in order for us to marry in a Catholic Church and have a Catholic ceremony, I had to promise to raise our kids Catholic.

I found this for you...

Marriage Preparation:

Convalidation

This program is designed for those couples who are married civilly and now wish to marry in the Church. Some couples, because of differences in religious background or a sense of distance from the Church at the time of their marriage, or because of complicating family situations, were married civilly or in some other manner that did not meet the Catholic Church's legal requirements for a valid church marriage. It is the Church's intention to provide couples with a sufficient understanding of Catholic Christian marriage to enable them to enter into marriage with integrity and knowledge.

Very rudimentary search, but I also found this:

http://www.vermontparishes.org/marriagequestions/html/AnswersPage6.html

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Posted by SomethingBlu

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Posted by dleeny

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Posted by carlsbride

Yes-it is called a convalidation.

---

can you please let me know in 'layman’s' terms what that means?

do we have to promise to raise our kids Catholic?

---

I have to think yes. Even though I'm not Catholic and DH received a dispensation in order for us to marry in a Catholic Church and have a Catholic ceremony, I had to promise to raise our kids Catholic.

I found this for you...

Marriage Preparation:

Convalidation

This program is designed for those couples who are married civilly and now wish to marry in the Church. Some couples, because of differences in religious background or a sense of distance from the Church at the time of their marriage, or because of complicating family situations, were married civilly or in some other manner that did not meet the Catholic Church's legal requirements for a valid church marriage. It is the Church's intention to provide couples with a sufficient understanding of Catholic Christian marriage to enable them to enter into marriage with integrity and knowledge.

Very rudimentary search, but I also found this:

http://www.vermontparishes.org/marriagequestions/html/AnswersPage6.html

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thanks sweetie

so I guess this means we would have to make that promise

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Posted by dleeny

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Posted by carlsbride

Yes-it is called a convalidation.

---

can you please let me know in 'layman’s' terms what that means?

do we have to promise to raise our kids Catholic?

---

The non-Catholic spouse does not have to promise to have the children raised Catholic. The Catholic spouse must promise to do all that he or she can to have the children baptized and raised in the Catholic faith.

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Posted by carlsbride

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Posted by dleeny

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Posted by carlsbride

Yes-it is called a convalidation.

---

can you please let me know in 'layman’s' terms what that means?

do we have to promise to raise our kids Catholic?

---

The non-Catholic spouse does not have to promise to have the children raised Catholic. The Catholic spouse must promise to do all that he or she can to have the children baptized and raised in the Catholic faith.

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Dina, check, because I am NOT Catholic and I still had to make that promise.

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Posted by carlsbride

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Posted by dleeny

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Posted by carlsbride

Yes-it is called a convalidation.

---

can you please let me know in 'layman’s' terms what that means?

do we have to promise to raise our kids Catholic?

---

The non-Catholic spouse does not have to promise to have the children raised Catholic. The Catholic spouse must promise to do all that he or she can to have the children baptized and raised in the Catholic faith.

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hmm! very interesting! thanks

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Posted by SomethingBlu

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Posted by carlsbride

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Posted by dleeny

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Posted by carlsbride

Yes-it is called a convalidation.

---

can you please let me know in 'layman’s' terms what that means?

do we have to promise to raise our kids Catholic?

---

The non-Catholic spouse does not have to promise to have the children raised Catholic. The Catholic spouse must promise to do all that he or she can to have the children baptized and raised in the Catholic faith.

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Dina, check, because I am NOT Catholic and I still had to make that promise.

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I'm not Catholic and the paper I signed didn't have that promise. HE had to promise to do everything in his power to raise the kids Catholic. The section I signed said I was aware he would want and try to raise this kids Catholic, but I never had to promise that I would personally raise my kids Catholic. I was very careful to doublecheck...

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Posted by Mayflower

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Posted by SomethingBlu

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Posted by carlsbride

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Posted by dleeny

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Posted by carlsbride

Yes-it is called a convalidation.

---

can you please let me know in 'layman’s' terms what that means?

do we have to promise to raise our kids Catholic?

---

The non-Catholic spouse does not have to promise to have the children raised Catholic. The Catholic spouse must promise to do all that he or she can to have the children baptized and raised in the Catholic faith.

---

Dina, check, because I am NOT Catholic and I still had to make that promise.

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I'm not Catholic and the paper I signed didn't have that promise. HE had to promise to do everything in his power to raise the kids Catholic. The section I signed said I was aware he would want and try to raise this kids Catholic, but I never had to promise that I would personally raise my kids Catholic. I was very careful to doublecheck...

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The promise was made at Church, duing the ceremony, as part of my vows. I actually listened to them.

ETA: But I just cheked and found this:

In a mixed marriage, what must the Catholic promise?
The Catholic must sign promises:
To remain a Catholic.
To see to it that the children are baptized and are brought up as Catholics.
Also, the Catholic party must inform the non-Catholic of these promises.


So by 'informing' me, I become aware and take on the responsibility since we are now 'one'.

Here's one for you all...

Both Catholic
One previously married now divorced
Annulment
Civil ceremony
Annulment
Annulment
Annulment

Eventually this annulment will happen

and well...back in the day we strongly wanted our marriage recognized by our church, but later and later...

Anyway...I guess what I'm asking is...

What's our next step?
Another ceremony? (3x a charm ya know!)
Another couple grand?

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Posted by SomethingBlu

The promise was made at Church, duing the ceremony, as part of my vows. I actually listened to them.

ETA: But I just cheked and found this:

In a mixed marriage, what must the Catholic promise?
The Catholic must sign promises:
To remain a Catholic.
To see to it that the children are baptized and are brought up as Catholics.
Also, the Catholic party must inform the non-Catholic of these promises.


So by 'informing' me, I become aware and take on the responsibility since we are now 'one'.

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so they spring the promise on you at the last minute when you can't back out?

I'd take it as you were 'informed' and you're 'aware' (which I'm fine with) but does that really mean YOU must do everything in your power to raise your kids Catholic as well?

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Posted by 103005FallBride

Here's one for you all...

Both Catholic
One previously married now divorced
Annulment
Civil ceremony
Annulment
Annulment
Annulment

Eventually this annulment will happen

and well...back in the day we strongly wanted our marriage recognized by our church, but later and later...

Anyway...I guess what I'm asking is...

What's our next step?
Another ceremony? (3x a charm ya know!)
Another couple grand?

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I don't understand what all the above means. You should go talk to your priest.

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Posted by Mayflower

so they spring the promise on you at the last minute when you can't back out?

I'd take it as you were 'informed' and you're 'aware' (which I'm fine with) but does that really mean YOU must do everything in your power to raise your kids Catholic as well?

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Basically...they get you in an 'I DO' mode and you just keep going...

I think if you're aware and informed and your spouse, which is now your unit, must do everything...you sort of have to as well. I never gave it much thought because although I'm not baptized anything, I'm not against Catholic baptism for my future babies...it's important to Dh so that was that.


Lori - I have no idea but just wanted to give you some...

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Posted by carlsbride

I don't understand what all the above means. You should go talk to your priest.

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The man was married previously.
I was not. He divorced.
After 2 years the annulment is still in the works. hence
We would like it to be recognized by the church...

What is our next step?

Yes..we're both Catholic.


Means is DAMN expensive..and I was wondering if there is anymore money that the Church would like us to shell out to have it be recognized by them.

God recognizes it no matter where it is...why does the church have to be so rediculous?

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Posted by SomethingBlu



ETA: But I just cheked and found this:

In a mixed marriage, what must the Catholic promise?
The Catholic must sign promises:
To remain a Catholic.
To see to it that the children are baptized and are brought up as Catholics.
Also, the Catholic party must inform the non-Catholic of these promises.


So by 'informing' me, I become aware and take on the responsibility since we are now 'one'.

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I wonder if there is a loophole here. I don't mean to sound disrespectful…. But if my DH promises to raise our kids Catholic, that’s not really a lie b/c we plan on raising them with both religions.

Do you think that would be ok?

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Posted by 103005FallBride


Means is DAMN expensive..and I was wondering if there is anymore money that the Church would like us to shell out to have it be recognized by them.

God recognizes it no matter where it is...why does the church have to be so rediculous?

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that's what I thought too! it sounded to us like they were just looking for $$ and not really all that concerned about anything else.

IMO, for them to ask for $2,500 to recognize our marriage takes the meaning of God out of it, you know?