Posted by brooklynbridezilla
Jannshari, in our case, it was a mutual agreement not to have the bachelor/ette party. Neither of us drinks or does the bar scene. After hearing Violets story, though, I can definitely understand why it might be a good idea not to have them.![]()
Posted by TracyInQueens
I decided that my FI should have his bachelor party at Build-A-Bear.
j/k![]()
Posted by jannshari
Posted by brooklynbridezilla
Jannshari, in our case, it was a mutual agreement not to have the bachelor/ette party. Neither of us drinks or does the bar scene. After hearing Violets story, though, I can definitely understand why it might be a good idea not to have them.![]()
That's different. There's no ultimatum, no demand. If I were to tell FH that he cannot have a bachelor party and that if he does, the wedding is off, I can totally see him telling me to go f*ck myself because it shows a total lack of trust. I can also see how some other man might view his FW as a 'nagging wife' already, get piss drunk with his friends, and have stupid, 'screw her' sex with some floozy at the bachelor party. It's an excuse, but clearly indicative of bigger issues in the relationship on both sides.
I agree that certain things should not go on at these parties. But they do. And as long as my FH isn't the one doing them, I'm fine with it. If he is, then I'm better off without him.
Posted by Marisa&Brian
My FI says it perfectly IMO - The bachelor party is not so much for the groom as it is for HIS FRIENDS to have an excuse to do otherwise inexcusable things. - (OR things they couldn't normally afford, or have an excuse to act like morons or whatever the case may be. - )
To be honest, For as much as I know my FI's friends can be complete idiots. - they know me well enough to know that i'd NEVER tolerate something like that - And they'd never put Brian in that siutation. -
Besides, Stippers are COMPLETELY different from 'HOOKERS' !!!!
I say don't stress over what your FI and his friends may or may not do based on some other poor girl's experience. - And to be honest, I read her post and it sounds to me like the blame should be placed on her family rather than her FI . -
Posted by oct.2004bride
Posted by Marisa&Brian
My FI says it perfectly IMO - The bachelor party is not so much for the groom as it is for HIS FRIENDS to have an excuse to do otherwise inexcusable things. - (OR things they couldn't normally afford, or have an excuse to act like morons or whatever the case may be. - )
To be honest, For as much as I know my FI's friends can be complete idiots. - they know me well enough to know that i'd NEVER tolerate something like that - And they'd never put Brian in that siutation. -
Besides, Stippers are COMPLETELY different from 'HOOKERS' !!!!
I say don't stress over what your FI and his friends may or may not do based on some other poor girl's experience. - And to be honest, I read her post and it sounds to me like the blame should be placed on her family rather than her FI . -
Her family??? Does her FH have a mind of his own? Unless there was a gun to his head, which i am assuming there was not, HE DID IT. So if they were all doing drugs and he 'felt pressured' ...it is the friends fault that HE CHOSE to try it?
Posted by Marisa&Brian
Posted by oct.2004bride
Posted by Marisa&Brian
My FI says it perfectly IMO - The bachelor party is not so much for the groom as it is for HIS FRIENDS to have an excuse to do otherwise inexcusable things. - (OR things they couldn't normally afford, or have an excuse to act like morons or whatever the case may be. - )
To be honest, For as much as I know my FI's friends can be complete idiots. - they know me well enough to know that i'd NEVER tolerate something like that - And they'd never put Brian in that siutation. -
Besides, Stippers are COMPLETELY different from 'HOOKERS' !!!!
I say don't stress over what your FI and his friends may or may not do based on some other poor girl's experience. - And to be honest, I read her post and it sounds to me like the blame should be placed on her family rather than her FI . -
Her family??? Does her FH have a mind of his own? Unless there was a gun to his head, which i am assuming there was not, HE DID IT. So if they were all doing drugs and he 'felt pressured' ...it is the friends fault that HE CHOSE to try it?
Oh of course not !! Don't get all bent out of shape ! I was just trying to make a point of TRUSTING your FH rather than worrying about his friends. - BUT I still think it was pretty terrible for HER own father and cousin to be leading the pack - Honestly, I think I would be MUCH more disappointed in my FATHER behaving that way .
Posted by AtticaQT
just e-mailed him - *lol*
fh already said no to me, the best man, and his parents no stripers, no strip clubs...if he has a party he said he only wants sports related(like going to a game)....
FI and I spoke about this and agree that its total disrespect if any licking or dry humping or anything of close contact is done. We have both been to bachelor and bachelorette parties, and you're not forced to do anything that you dont want too. He knows that I'll be totally pissed if he fs up. He says that its the same thing for the woman.
I did
