My parents are divorced. My mom is recently remarried and her and my dad can just barely be civil around each other. My dad hates her new husband (without knowing a thing about him). My dad has a live-in girlfriend. She is 3 years younger than me, his daughter. Yes, you read that correctly. Needless to say, I am not exactly proud of him and his choice in girlfriend, but nevertheless she will be at the wedding.
My mom is willing to walk out of the church with my father. She already asked her new husband NOT to come to the church (I don't agree with that AT ALL and told her so) yet she wants to walk in with him (her husband) into the reception hall and be announced with his last name (which she did not even legally take).
She has suggested that my Dad should walk into the reception hall with one of his sisters, NOT his uh, 'chiquita banana' as my FMIL lovingly refers to her. I almost want to agree with her because I can just picture the looks of horror on FHs family's faces when my Dad walks in with a girl younger than his own daughter.
I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to make everyone uncomfortable. Also, shouldn't there be some sort of consistency? If my Godfather walks my mom down the aisle in church and then back down, then who walks with my father? I would like some suggestions from you girls on how to handle the processional, recessional, and the hall entrance, please!
Now that you guys probably think that my parents are both certifiable (between my mom and her dress issues and now my dad and his chiquita banana) let me just tell you all that me and my little brother turned out just fine.
CaCRmr
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Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
I'm sorry but I had to laugh when I read 'chiquita banana' but in all seriousness, is your father walking you down the aisle? I'm not sure who would be best for him to walk down with if he walks out with your mother....tough one!
Donna
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Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
Sorry you have to deal with all this... This is what I did maybe it can help you. My parents have been divorced for about 12 years and really aren't amicable, they both have long term SO's.
My brother walked my mom down My father walked me down For the receiving line at church I only had my mother, father, MIL and FIL At the reception my mother was introduced in with her SO and then my dad walked in with his
JimmysBride
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Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
Yes, my dad is walking me down the aisle.
Stacey04
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Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
Is you father girlfriend going to be at the church? If so, the your mom can walk back with your godfather and your father can walk with his girlfriend. Although I agree with you in that your moms husband should be there and walk with her. He is part of the family now, do you get along with him?
As for the reception, IMO everyone should walk in with their spouse/significant other.
Would you consider cutting that part out all together?
FH and I are prob not having anyone introduced except us, (we haven't decided definitly yet)
tourist
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Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
I would think your dad's girlfriend wouldn't be announced at the reception because they aren't married.
I went to a friend's wedding with a sticky parent situation & they didn't announce parents at all.
As for the church- it's tricky b/c your godfather is walking your mom down. It would probably be ok for your parens to exit together, since they ARE your parents, and their SO & your Godfather will just exit like guests, and at the reception, your mom & her husband ( or jus her ) & then your dad alone.
wc0143
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Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
Posted by tourist
I would think your dad's girlfriend wouldn't be announced at the reception because they aren't married.
It would probably be ok for your parents to exit together, since they ARE your parents, and their SO & your Godfather will just exit like guests, and at the reception, your mom & her husband (or just her ) & then your dad alone.
Totally agree with all of tourist's suggestions
chichila15
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Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
Posted by wc0143
Posted by tourist
I would think your dad's girlfriend wouldn't be announced at the reception because they aren't married.
It would probably be ok for your parents to exit together, since they ARE your parents, and their SO & your Godfather will just exit like guests, and at the reception, your mom & her husband (or just her ) & then your dad alone.
Totally agree with all of tourist's suggestions
Same here... have them walk alone (reception), to keep it fair.
chichila15
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Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
I'm sorry you have such a stressful situation. My cousin is in a similar situation and she isn't announcing parents (to be honest w/ you most of the weddings I've been to don't announce parents). If you want to announce them, I would announce your Mom and SD and your Dad and Chiquita banana - I'm sure it won't cause a scene. Good luck!
chichila15
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Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
Posted by BCTM33
I'm sorry you have such a stressful situation. My cousin is in a similar situation and she isn't announcing parents (to be honest w/ you most of the weddings I've been to don't announce parents). If you want to announce them, I would announce your Mom and SD and your Dad and Chiquita banana - I'm sure it won't cause a scene. Good luck!
Now that I think of it... she's right. Let them all have their cake... Chiquita will still stir whispers that night regardless if she walks out with your dad, or not.
Boop2704
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Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
My parents are divorced and uncivil as well. My father is remarried and my mother has a boyfriend of almost 10 years. You think they would grow up. Anyway when it came wedding time, my father made things very clear, my moms boyfriend was not allowed on the bus with him. Well heres what we did. My moms boyfriend met the guys at the hotel and took the bus over with them to the church, then my father, mother and stepmother were at the house and took the bus over with me and the bridesmaids to church. My mother walked down the aisle with her boyfriend, my stepmother walked down the aisle with my step grandfather and my dad walked down with me. Leaving, my mom walked out with her boyfriend, my dad with his wife. I don't think your stepfather should not go to church. Are you close with him? Don't make him miss a special day because your dad can't be civil. Believe it or not, when the day comes they actually do act civil to each other because they don't want to embarrass themselves. As for the chiquita banana, let her walk in at the reception with your dad, she is the one that will look like an *** if she does it. I definitely think your stepfather should be at your moms side all day no matter where the entrance is, that is her husband, whether your dad likes it or not and if he wants the chiquita banana on his arm he needs to comprimise somewhere. I hope this helps a little, I am confused reading what I wrote.
kgermano
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Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
My parents can barely stand each other either so this is what I plan on doing. For the processional my mom and dad are walking me down the aisle. This is because I can't imagine not having my mom walk with me because we're so close. They know enough to not act up for at least this one day so I'm not too worried about that.
The recessional will probably be my mom will walk out with her boyfriend of many years and my dad can walk out with his boyfriend of many years. That's right I said boyfriend (we all have our own family issues don't we)
So for the reception my mom made it very clear she did not want to be introduced with my dad and he said the same and I don't think my dad will be comfortable walking out with his partner (some family memebers may find that too risque...personally it doesn't bother me)To avoid anyone feeling uncomfortable I am not introducing the parents on either side at all...just the bridal party and bride and groom. Hope that helps a little..good luck!!
Nora101004
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Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
Why not introduce them separately....
The FOB.. Mr. John Doe (dad walks in alone)
The MOB...Mrs. Jane Smith(mom walks in alone)
MomNeedsTissues
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Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
My son was married this past Sunday. My husband and I are divorced and though we are civil with eachother, it was very difficult.
When we all were announced, it was: Mother of the groom Name, accompied by Name and then Father of the Groom, name accompied by Name.
We both have SO's. None of us were left out. I think it worked out very well. In the case of your mom being remarried, I have to agree that her new husband should be at her side walking in and out of the church. He really should be at her side.
As for your dads banana, I would ask her to stay at home because by the sounds of it, your not happy with his choices and situations and if its going to make you unhappy and uncomfortable on YOUR day, un-invite her. This is JMO.
Good luck!
Kriss2c
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Re: Sticky situation with Dad, Mom and their SOs...
My FILs just went through a nasty divorce and we have asked FFIL's 'banana' (coincidentally the primary reason for the divorce) to stay home.
More than likely, FH and I are going to '86 the parent's being announced... I have only been to one wedding where they were announced actually.
