Ok so several close friends and family stiffed us and I don't think they are going to send a gift and we are totally shcoked. And I know there is some unwritten rule that you have a year to give a gift BUT if it were me and I showed up at a wedding empty handed...I would tell my good friend that I a) forgot to get a card or b) times are rough and I promise to send something later....wouldn't you????
So these are the people that stiffed:
-2 of DH best friends from elementary school -1 of DH's coworkers/friends (who happens to be very well off) -Cousin of mine and his gf (very out of character to not give something) -Friend of DH's who missed his flight and never made the wedding...and we paid his plate (DH attended his wedding and gave a gift a few years ago!)
So how do you feel about this??? We are happy they came and all were OOTers but just alittle hurt.
pa56
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
Your wedding was just 3 weeks ago, right? I would give them much more time than that before coming to the conclusion that you're not getting anything.
Jenn04
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
Posted by pa56
Your wedding was just 3 weeks ago, right? I would give them much more time than that before coming to the conclusion that you're not getting anything.
I understand but my point is we talk to these people weekly...why wouldn't they say anything????
SoonToBeMrsScott
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
I feel the same way I had alot of guest that didn't give anything and think it wasn't noticed I am at the point of just telling them about themselves
Saram
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
i could not imagine ever stiffing somebody...
yswedding
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
wow, I don't know what the ettiquette says to do, but thats the rudest thing I've ever heard of. At the very least they should give you a note with well wishes. Really? Nothing at all?
I'm in total shock at the thought even, what the heck do you do?
roan126
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
I was in the same situation, but most people did send something eventually. There is just one friend who hasnt, which is also shocking. Its funny, I was just thinking about htis today. I dont think you can say anything....not sure how you'd even go about approaching that subject with someone.
angl2001
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
we had a few people not give a gift too...it ***** butit happens i was pretty pissed but now its like **SHRUG*** what can you do?
i was missing a card from a friend and i called and asked him about it lol i said a few cards were missing and was wondering if there was one from them.........lol
Snick n Nick
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
See we have a few people we didn't get gifts from, but we also have one gift and we don't know who it's from! It was in our cardbox, the envelope said Nick & Nicole with one N (like a big N, then ick on top and icole on the bottom, all cutesy), and it was a card and a home depot $50 gift card.....only problem, nothing written in the card! so now we are trying to figure out out of the ppl we didn't get gifts from, who could it be from? it's really tough to guess....should I start asking ppl? haha....I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get our thank yous!
Jenn04
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
Posted by angl2001
we had a few people not give a gift too...it ***** butit happens i was pretty pissed but now its like **SHRUG*** what can you do?
i was missing a card from a friend and i called and asked him about it lol i said a few cards were missing and was wondering if there was one from them.........lol
I know someone who did that as well...she called her friend and said she thought her card was missing...and the friend said 'no I never gave one!'. What did he say when u did that??
DH is very confrontational so I feel he may something or he may mention it to a mutual friend.
jerrys girl
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
honestly i expected some of our ooters to stiff us. they paid a lot to come the wedding and want to be there for you.
sheeshamuff
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
when my friend got married I completely forgot to bring their card. I left it in the hotel room. I figured I wouldnt say anything to her at the wedding because I didnt want to bug her with that, and that I would give it to her later. She actually called me the next day to ask me b/c they didnt find my card and they were missing a few others. They were afraid that some got lost between the wedding and the hotel or that they were stolen. I didn't mind that she asked. Maybe your guests wouldnt mind being asked either. Say you are just making sure they didnt get lost b/c you are missing a few.
Kricket212
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
I understand how you all feel. I hope it doesnt happen to me...but you never know.
mariaobride
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
a few people did this to us I am not so upset about not having a gift so much (i know times could be tough for people) but at least a card a few people didnt show the day of our wedding and I am sure they were so upset they actually sent us such generous gifts as for the people that didnt give me anything I see them everyday and they wouldnt so much as even mention it to me i honestly would let it go you may just receive something in time from them or you will never know the real truth
Jenn04
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
Yeah seriously...just a card...how hard is that!
And I had some people who I did not expect a gift from because I know they r going thru a rough time BUT they ended up giving a gft afterall! And these so call reputable friends gave nothing...its just totally bogus!
jennandrolo
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
i cant even begin to tell you how many people gave us nothing, not even a card, even BIL. we got alot less than we expected in gifts which succks cuz we had so many plans for the $$. its frustrating but what can ya do? the point of the wedding wasnt to make $$.
mariaobride
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
Posted by Jenn04
Yeah seriously...just a card...how hard is that!
And I had some people who I did not expect a gift from because I know they r going thru a rough time BUT they ended up giving a gft afterall! And these so call reputable friends gave nothing...its just totally bogus!
i hear ya with the whole close friends thing it is insulting i was shocked how certain people that i didnt expect gifts from were so kind and gave me a frame or album and like you mentioned the reputable friends and some other close people gave nothing - i wasn't brought up to be that way i am a very simple person-i just would never go empty handed to a wedding (if times were hard- i would still give an inexpensive gift from the heart- or write a beautiful note in their card)
betani
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
honestly, i was just happy all out oot guests got to come, but i'm not really big on getting gifts anyways. there were some people we didn't get gifts from that night, but we got them in the mail later. most oot-ers will be buying a gift (not money) and don't feel like schlepping it with them, so will have it sent to your house later. most also don't feel the need to bring it up to you at the wedding thinking you have more important things going on.
Jenn04
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
Posted by betani
honestly, i was just happy all out oot guests got to come, but i'm not really big on getting gifts anyways. there were some people we didn't get gifts from that night, but we got them in the mail later. most oot-ers will be buying a gift (not money) and don't feel like schlepping it with them, so will have it sent to your house later. most also don't feel the need to bring it up to you at the wedding thinking you have more important things going on.
Ok good point. Thanks for the input!
NYCGirl2008
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Re: Stiffed.....now what?
I think you have to let it go and not worry about it. (that being said I am a bad wedding gift giver and now fear so much it is going to bite me in the ***.) You wanted these people to attend your wedding and they came from out of town. Many people I know would not expect to give and gift and come from out of town. I think you have to let it go. I know for the people I know for whom I dropped the ball on a good wedding present (mostly it was disorganization on my part) I made sure to make up for it later with amazing presents for the children or a great anniversary present, it isn't the same I know, but not everyone has everything together. No excuse I know, but what can I say?!
