strange re: shower invite

about 2 weeks ago i received a bridal shower invitation for this sunday for someone that i really only know through someone else. the shower invite had a lnt card stating that's where she was registered - but then the mom hand-wrote that any gift cards are accepted, macys, fortunoff, bbb, target, etc. also, the lnt registry was huge. it's a surprise shower, so the girl's mom registered her.

anyway, she will be getting married two weeks after the shower in a church. no reception, dinner, etc b/c they just bought a house and have no money at all for a reception - understandable. but i never received an invitation to the wedding. isn't it usually that if you are invited to the shower then you will be invited to the wedding?

i feel like her mom is trying to get something for nothing almost - i know that may sound mean since her mom wants the best for her. but i figured that i would at least be invited to the ceremony.

Re: strange re: shower invite

I probably just wouldn't go to the shower...especially id you don't know her very well.

Re: strange re: shower invite

she doesn't have that many friends though. and she is nice, so i wouldn't mind going. i just think that something is off with not being invited to the wedding.

Re: strange re: shower invite

i think that's kind of rude to invite you to the shower and not the wedding. i think mom is just fishing for a gift. kind of tacky to me.

Re: strange re: shower invite

it is kinda strange that

1. you are not invited to the wedding

2. That the mom registered for her

Re: strange re: shower invite

i would just rsvp Sorry cant go

Re: strange re: shower invite

I can kinda relate because I was recently invited to a shower for a friend of the family and then not invited to the wedding (which I only found out after I had already gone to the shower and given this girl that I don't really know all too well like a $50 gift)

It was really odd and bothered me A LOT.

My advice? RSVP with sorry I won't be able to make it

Re: strange re: shower invite

I would say, if you like the girl and want to go, then go! She doesn't know about the shower, so she's not the one fishing for a gift, and she would probably be happy to know you WANT to be there for her, especially if not too many people will be there! Also, if you want, you can ask her if you can come see her get married? Since there's no 'party', there's nothing wrong with asking if you can come see the ceremony... she would probably be so happy that you want to be there for her! Don't stress the 'tact' in this situation since the bride isn't aware of the entire situation... just go and enjoy yourself! And the bride's mom might not realize that you're not invited to the wedding since the shower is obviously a complete secret from the bride. Most brides know they're getting SOMETHING.... this seems to be a HUGE shock to the bride. I say, just do what you feel to do. HTH!