My dream when I thought of my wedding was the doors of the church opening and walking down the aisle with my dad however the Catholic Church is giving us a very hard time. My FH is divorced and they want him to get an annulment. The problem with this is that it could take up to 18 months and my wedding is in 12 months. Im very upset since not only would this cost us about 500.00 to get the annulment but neither my FH or his x wife were Catholic nor did they have a Catholic ceremony. On top of that we will already be legally married. This bothers me for two reasons: 1. this is the only thing i really care about for my wedding and 2.after everything i was taught about my religion it is all a bunch of junk to put it nicely. I have been taught that everyone is welcome in Jesus house but now that we want to get married theres all this red tape. It also makes me upset because I know Jesus loves us and if he was standing at the doors of the church he would welcome us both with open arms. I just feel like Im going to have to give up my dream and although I know that we can still have a nice ceremony somewhere else it still is upsetting to me. I feel like its just about the money. Thanks for reading.
BellaRegina
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So sorry to hear What about going to a different church?
angelicd77
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I would def try a different church. Some pastors are more strict then others. My church just recently changed pastors and the fee for the wedding went from $750 to $600 but they added some class we have to do before pre-cana. It might be something that varies by church. Good luck!
scottsbride
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As long as it is a Catholic Church they all have the same rules.
Shanti12
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I absolutely agree with you, it's so upsetting! I know I'll have friends in the same boat if they ever get remarried. I feel like if you believe God is everywhere then it doesn't matter, but why doesn't the church feel that way!! So frustrating I hope you can figure something out that works for you
Noelle2013
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Posted by scottsbride
As long as it is a Catholic Church they all have the same rules.
Now you have me worried! My fh was married before but wasn't married in a catholic church so everyone is saying the church doesn't recognize it and we will be fine. We have our church meeting on Monday...I may be in the same position as you :(
scottsbride
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Posted by Noelle2013
Posted by scottsbride
As long as it is a Catholic Church they all have the same rules.
Now you have me worried! My fh was married before but wasn't married in a catholic church so everyone is saying the church doesn't recognize it and we will be fine. We have our church meeting on Monday...I may be in the same position as you :(
The church still recognizes it as a marriage even if it wasnt in a Catholic Church which makes no sense to me. I have had friends in the same situation and they ended up not getting married in the Catholic Church because of all the paperwork and money. Let me know if you run into the same problem because I have already looked into non denominational chapels and would be able to give you their information.
mattandjess2013
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I would talk to a different church. I grew up going to Catholic school and was around the church a lot as a kid, and I have to take classes as a Catholic School teacher. As far as I was aware, if your FH wasn't married in a Catholic church originally, there is no need for an annullment because it wouldn't be recognized by the church.
Noelle2013
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Posted by scottsbride
Posted by Noelle2013
Posted by scottsbride
As long as it is a Catholic Church they all have the same rules.
Now you have me worried! My fh was married before but wasn't married in a catholic church so everyone is saying the church doesn't recognize it and we will be fine. We have our church meeting on Monday...I may be in the same position as you :(
The church still recognizes it as a marriage even if it wasnt in a Catholic Church which makes no sense to me. I have had friends in the same situation and they ended up not getting married in the Catholic Church because of all the paperwork and money. Let me know if you run into the same problem because I have already looked into non denominational chapels and would be able to give you their information.
I just called my church and the receptionist said she was going to talk to the priest and to call back tomorrow. I am so upset right now.
Noelle2013
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Re: Stressed
Posted by Noelle2013
Posted by scottsbride
Posted by Noelle2013
Posted by scottsbride
As long as it is a Catholic Church they all have the same rules.
Now you have me worried! My fh was married before but wasn't married in a catholic church so everyone is saying the church doesn't recognize it and we will be fine. We have our church meeting on Monday...I may be in the same position as you :(
The church still recognizes it as a marriage even if it wasnt in a Catholic Church which makes no sense to me. I have had friends in the same situation and they ended up not getting married in the Catholic Church because of all the paperwork and money. Let me know if you run into the same problem because I have already looked into non denominational chapels and would be able to give you their information.
I just called my church and the receptionist said she was going to talk to the priest and to call back tomorrow. I am so upset right now.
She did say that she doesn't think I can but wants to double check
db276952
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Before you give up definitely check another Catholic church, some are more lienent than others it depends on the priest.
vppjzv
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Christina29
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I know a friend that got married two times. For this third marriage his wife wanted to get married in a church. They had to find a church that would marry them. They ended up finding one. So if your really wish to get married in a church keep calling different parishes.
scottsbride
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Posted by vppjzv
Wow I'm so sorry... Oi rules. You can still get the feel you want at a non-denominational church though. We're doing the ceremony at the place, but when I called my old church (Methodist) they were very open about us being Protestant/Catholic. I think divorce was ok but neither of us are so I'm not sure. It will all work out.
They won't make an exception and call it an 'in the eyes of God' ceremony or something since you'll be married already anyway?
No it doesnt matter. My parents said we should just leave it alone for a few months and then go to a different church and when they say have you ever been married we just say no. We tried to be honest and that didnt work so clearly with church we have to lie but I think Jesus understands. We have a meeting with the Deacon tonight and we will see what he says but I will definitely tell him everything I have told you ladies. One of the chapels I called up told me that out of the 50 weddings they do a year over half of them are Catholics that have had some sort of issue with the church.
futurearias
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hope everything works out! i was going to say thee same thing your parents said, just say no. dont settle for less then your dream
Kristin31613
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I would def try a different church. I personally know several people that this happened to and then they went elsewhere and that church was fine with it. Money talks to the Catholic church. Maybe you have a lil brother who can talk to him. (THat was a bad joke!)
bellasmommy1029
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I'm so sorry. I agree with you but unfortunately it is about the money. I would keep trying different churches
luveiduv12
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The methodist church will marry anyone..Islip Methodist Church has been SO nice to us..
youmewe
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Sorry to hear this...but I don't think it will take that long...if you start now and walk it through.....meaning be very knowledgable about the process..have contact info for people..yes even at diocis levels...emails and phone calls help..but I do agree that the money aspect stinks..but don't give up on your dream! And are you friendly with anyone at your rectory you can maybe ask to provide a little inside info process
scottsbride
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I want that vision but at a certain point you have to be realistic. Im a mother of a 1 year old and my FH is a disabled vet and going to school full time and we are looking for a house....etc. so its alot and we really dont want to deal with another thing and I think if I get married in another church or chapel I will still get that feeling. My dad is still going to walk me down the aisle and my FH is going to be there waiting for me and thats really all that matters....the church is just a building.
