Stressful Hall Decision!!!!!

Hi Girls- I have a dilemma.

I got engaged 2 months ago and immediately fell in love with a beautiful expensice waterfront place to get married. They are charging $180/head for a Saturday night wedding while every other place we looked at charges $110-150. (these rates are for a sat. night wedding which we are insistant upon for many reasons). The problem is that all the generic halls and mansions we looked at on Long Island dont compare at all! So many have terrible carpeting, horrible chandeliers or are realllllly tacky. We are still looking but the dream place wants us to book by this weekend. They are even using the 'another bride is interested in your date' tactic! After talking to my parents about budget, I have 3 options:

A) Get married in a year or so at the dream place and have to save $15,000 on our own (very stressful since I am currently trying to pay off some credit card debt!)

B) Get married in a year or so at a mediocre place and have the entire wedding payed for and more $ to buy a house!

C) Get married in 2 years at the dream place and have time to save the $15,000.

I knew that I loved the dream place the minute I walked in but my friends say that its 'just one night' and its not worth the stress it would put on me. Not to mention the risk of not having a nicer house b/c we spent all our $ on the wedding. Any advice would be much appreciated!!!!!!!!

In all honesty...I would wait it out one more year...
just because this way u can have it where you want and when you want...

but if you are SET on 08 then try to make it work? It may be hard!

wow! It's very difficult to put a price on your 'perfect wedding', I know! But I think you should weigh the options (which you already started to do in your post). IMO, I think it's not worth all the financial hardship to go with dream place. Having a house right after the wedding is the ultimate goal of some brides, from what I've heard! I'd rather have the wedding fully paid for, not owe anything afterwards, AND have a foot in the door of a house that I'm going to OWN! I know this will be a difficult decision, so GL with whatever you choose and welcome!

i would definitly wait it out another year. its obvious that you love it, but saving all that money in a year is a lot especially since there are so many other things like limos, flowers, dj, photo, invitiations, the dress, etc that are going to near double that price.

if you love it so much, and are set on it, then waiting another year will just give you more time to enjoy the engagement, and be less stressed about the finances. just dont settle on something you dont love because youll regret it

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Posted by coley1027

i would definitly wait it out another year. its obvious that you love it, but saving all that money in a year is a lot especially since there are so many other things like limos, flowers, dj, photo, invitiations, the dress, etc that are going to near double that price.

if you love it so much, and are set on it, then waiting another year will just give you more time to enjoy the engagement, and be less stressed about the finances. just dont settle on something you dont love because youll regret it

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Thanks for the advice girls! The $15,000 actually includes all the other stuff, 'photographer, limos, dj, etc'. But its still a lot of money!

I THINK if you put your mind into smth you can definitely succeed!!!!!!!!!! if thats your dream place then set your mind to it...remember weding is only once in your life...i hope once in mine....
but anyway...if you cant pay your wedding now...then wait a little...and see how it goes...you will be surprised..how much you can achieve with time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

personally, i would go with a less expensive hall so that we would have more money for a house.
but if you are really set on this particular hall, would you consider getting married a different time of the year? i know most places are quite a bit cheaper in the winter.

I feel the same way..the places are LOVE are way to expensive. I think I agree with the 'it's one day' group more. So, I will end up somewhere with ugly carpet. Anywhere you have it you will be able to personalize the room and have a beautiful day. What was the place you fell in love with?

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Posted by ellyoxox

personally, i would go with a less expensive hall so that we would have more money for a house.
but if you are really set on this particular hall, would you consider getting married a different time of the year? i know most places are quite a bit cheaper in the winter.

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I agree...I would go with the less expensive hall. Having money for a house is much more important, imo, than one day in your life.

Good luck with your decision though, I know its tough!

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Posted by Future Pepper

wow! It's very difficult to put a price on your 'perfect wedding', I know! But I think you should weigh the options (which you already started to do in your post). IMO, I think it's not worth all the financial hardship to go with dream place. Having a house right after the wedding is the ultimate goal of some brides, from what I've heard! I'd rather have the wedding fully paid for, not owe anything afterwards, AND have a foot in the door of a house that I'm going to OWN! I know this will be a difficult decision, so GL with whatever you choose and welcome!

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I have to agree with Pepper... I would feel much better at the end to have my bills paid (as you are trying to do) my wedding pay off and money for my house (which is great goal) than just have my 'perfect wedding' JMHO

i know you insist on having a saturday wedding but if it were me i rather get married on a friday night or on a sunday at the place that i absolutely LOVE instead of getting married somewhere else or waiting another whole year to get married....for me it would be a no brainer - change the day.....

ETA: i say that because that is what we did we didnt want a really long engagement and we didnt want to go broke so we chose an off season winter/christmas wedding on a friday night

I agree with the 'its just one day' group. The most important part of the wedding is being married to the person you love and that doesnt have to happen in a really expensive place. I personally do not want to owe a penny for the wedding after the fact. Wait it out

I'll be beginning my search this weekend and can already tell I'll be facing the same decision as you. Preempting this, we'll probably be going with a Sunday night wedding. It's not worth blowing a ton of savings on one night, however I believe there has to be a happy medium. I try to focus on the fact that we have fun friends and family, and no matter what we'll all have a good time.

Now lets hope I have that same outlook after this weekend!!

It's Pier 60 in the city.

I know that a house is much more important... but there is this feeling in my gut that I will regret not having my dream wedding. My thought is, why use my parents very generous gift towards a mediocre place when, with a little determination, we can have the wedding of our dreams at Pier 60.

But then the practical side of me set in and tells me that im being ridiculous and that there has to be something in between that will still be beautiful, and I just havent found it yet. I know that once I have a beautiful home, I probably wont feel this way!

I dont mind waiting 2 years but that is a long engagement and FH is 32 so 2 years seems like a long time :(

I love Oheka Castle but, saving for a house was much more important to us than putting that money into one day.
I say if you can do both next year than go for it but, if you have to sacrafice one for the other I wouldn't do it

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Posted by JessesGirl

It's Pier 60 in the city.

I know that a house is much more important... but there is this feeling in my gut that I will regret not having my dream wedding. My thought is, why use my parents very generous gift towards a mediocre place when, with a little determination, we can have the wedding of our dreams at Pier 60.

But then the practical side of me set in and tells me that im being ridiculous and that there has to be something in between that will still be beautiful, and I just havent found it yet. I know that once I have a beautiful home, I probably wont feel this way!

I dont mind waiting 2 years but that is a long engagement and FH is 32 so 2 years seems like a long time :(

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What your FH think??