Stressful Hall Decision!!!!!

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Posted by JessesGirl

It's Pier 60 in the city.

I know that a house is much more important... but there is this feeling in my gut that I will regret not having my dream wedding. My thought is, why use my parents very generous gift towards a mediocre place when, with a little determination, we can have the wedding of our dreams at Pier 60.

But then the practical side of me set in and tells me that im being ridiculous and that there has to be something in between that will still be beautiful, and I just havent found it yet. I know that once I have a beautiful home, I probably wont feel this way!

I dont mind waiting 2 years but that is a long engagement and FH is 32 so 2 years seems like a long time :(

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If it makes you feel better I have been engaged for ummmm well on our wedding date......4 Years!
If you really want Pier 60 wait it out .............

Are you willing to compromise doing it on an off month?

I have been to pier 60 for a function and it is beautiful but you may be able to find other waterfront place in the city which are more reasonable.

http://weddings.about.com/od/weddinglocations/ss/NYCLocations.htm

I wish I could help you make a decision, but this is a really personal one because you have to decide what's important to you.

For the record, I fall into the 'it's only one day' group of people. I'm 37 years old and FH is 42. We've finished paying off all of our student loans and have no credit card debt. I have 3 more car payments left, FH will be done with his car payments by the time the wedding rolls around. We will be able to put over 20% down on a house. We ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to go into debt on the wedding. That's why we've chosen to keep our guest list under 100 and we're having a Saturday morning wedding and if we don't have the cash on hand to pay for anything wedding-related, we're not doing it.

But that's us.

If having your dream wedding is truly important to you, then pick the place you really want to get married at (but don't let them bully you into booking!) and make sure you're truly prepared to make the sacrifices to make it happen. That may mean taking on a second job or working OT, making less payments on your credit cards because you have to pay for wedding expenses, etc., etc.

Good luck!

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Posted by beram63

honestly, i had my heart set on gurney's and i was prepared to move heaven and earth to make that happen without any support from family. after a while--maybe when i went to a friend's wedding and the whole thing was over it what seemed like the blink of an eye--my perspective changed and i just decided that killing ourselves to save several thousand $ for a 5 hour party was not worth it to us. we are spending more than what a lot of people think is reasonable on photog bc i can justify it--pictures are forever. in the end, you need to make the decision, but don't let the hall rush you into a commitment like this unless you're really prepared to make the sacrifices it's going to take to follow through (i.e. delay buying a house, less play $, etc.)

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I completely agree with you...its just a five hour party!!!! And future Mulligan....i totally understand your point but we have people traveling to be here and I cant ask them to take off from work if I have a fri or sun wedding.

As for the waiting 2 years, I have an elderly grandmother who I am very close with..and two years is such a long time. In the end, its the people who make a wedding, not the place.

I know this is a personal and complicated decision but I feel like A LOT of us are in a similar boat here.... I think the wedding industry has gotten out of control. Its not right that you have to spend close to $50,000 for a decent wedding in NY!!

I am not letting the place bully me, I owe it to myself to look at more places so I can make an educated decision...there has got to be happy medium!!!!

Does anyone know a beachfront place in the
Hamptons or LI or even Jersey that is classy and charges around $100-150 for a Sat night wedding?

Thanks everyone...I really appreciate it!

Definately B!!!

Its one freakin day... If tyou cant find soemthing you like for cheaper, you're either a: not looking hard enough or b: way too picky

I'm absolutely with you on the necessity of a Saturday night wedding! We also have a ton of out of towners, and it wouldn't be fair to do it any other day, plus i think it guarantees more will be able to make it (plus our close family will all have to take off on Friday to be here for rehearsal and dinner anyway).

With that said, we found a lot of places trying to pressure us to do a Sunday, Friday, Saturday daytime affair. In the end, we happened to be searching at an off time of year anyway, so prices tended to be lower for the Saturday night. If you would consider Jan. or Feb., prices will be much more reasonable, as well as some other 'off' months. That really helped us out in our search for a great venue deal for a Saturday night!

Good luck!!!

I say $50K because right now the hall is almost $30K, the photographer I want is $4-5, and between the dress ($2-3K),flowers(????),dj($2K) ,favors,honeymoon,etc....you are easily looking at $50K +.

Obviously the price is high at the hall but I am picky (after all, it is one of the bigest days of my life)and have been to 4 places and looked at hundreds online. I've made a few more appts so hopefully there is an in between. A lot of my friends have told me that $50K is now an average wedding cost...what do you girls think? True? Seems like it so far....

JLynn- Thanks for understanding, everyone seems to be telling me the same but thats one thing I wont budge on. I cant inconvenience people like that and the day weddings Ive been to dont have the same feel as a night wedding... Winter months are ok, but then you risk snow! Decisions, decisions....

I'm not sure about the average cost, because everyone has different preferences and ideas about their wedding! I couldn't believe the cost difference in venues! There are also lots of debates about what is impt and what isn't. Some people say a videographer is a waste of money and don't want it documented on video, especially the reception. Others say it's so important to look back on. We've also been to SO many weddings the last few years and seen so many different things in action! All of these things change the total cost drastically. Personally, i'd like to keep the cost as low as possible, but when you're adding on $5k for this and $5k for that like it's peanuts, it adds up quickly!!! LOL

We originally wanted April, but ended up with February because that's all our favorite RH had left. The last few winters have been so mild! Also, i've been to plenty of late spring / summer weddings where it rained...we even went to one in the late fall where it rained. You never know what you're going to get! I figure i could have a 75 degree day in February, or it could snow, but after much thought, i realized i'd actually rather have pretty snow in my pictures! Just my opinion! No matter what time of year, you always have contingency plans and make it work.

If you are looking at a Saturday bc you are worried about people travelling, why dont you do a holiday weekend like Memorial day or like im doing 4th of July weekend. The 4th falls on a Sat so the friday before, the 3rd, is when its observed so most of the people will have off anyway.

Some halls we looked at wanted to charge us more while two halls gave us a discount.

Good luck!

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Posted by JessesGirl

I say $50K because right now the hall is almost $30K, the photographer I want is $4-5, and between the dress ($2-3K),flowers(????),dj($2K) ,favors,honeymoon,etc....you are easily looking at $50K +.

Obviously the price is high at the hall but I am picky (after all, it is one of the bigest days of my life)and have been to 4 places and looked at hundreds online. I've made a few more appts so hopefully there is an in between. A lot of my friends have told me that $50K is now an average wedding cost...what do you girls think? True? Seems like it so far....

JLynn- Thanks for understanding, everyone seems to be telling me the same but thats one thing I wont budge on. I cant inconvenience people like that and the day weddings Ive been to dont have the same feel as a night wedding... Winter months are ok, but then you risk snow! Decisions, decisions....

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LOL yu have to understand and thats the one thing i ahte about this site... Alot of gurls make you feel like its normal to have a 50k wedding b/c thats what a majority spend... but I def think its not the norm... LIW gurls will have you buying I DO letters, cry packs, and whatever else that can just keep adding up.... Remem... there are halls for cheaper, photogs for cheaper, etc you just haveto do your reasearch and not be swayed by the gurls on here that only go for the more popular vendors.. popularity = and it def rears its ugly head on this site...

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Posted by JLynn2003

I'm not sure about the average cost, because everyone has different preferences and ideas about their wedding! I couldn't believe the cost difference in venues! There are also lots of debates about what is impt and what isn't. Some people say a videographer is a waste of money and don't want it documented on video, especially the reception. Others say it's so important to look back on. We've also been to SO many weddings the last few years and seen so many different things in action! All of these things change the total cost drastically. Personally, i'd like to keep the cost as low as possible, but when you're adding on $5k for this and $5k for that like it's peanuts, it adds up quickly!!! LOL

We originally wanted April, but ended up with February because that's all our favorite RH had left. The last few winters have been so mild! Also, i've been to plenty of late spring / summer weddings where it rained...we even went to one in the late fall where it rained. You never know what you're going to get! I figure i could have a 75 degree day in February, or it could snow, but after much thought, i realized i'd actually rather have pretty snow in my pictures! Just my opinion! No matter what time of year, you always have contingency plans and make it work.

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Peanuts- LOL. Love that comparison.

I would consider winter if people weren't traveling but I dont think that would work. You are right about the weather pattern changing though. One salesman at a hall told me the months have shifted (ex: Aprils weather is now in May). You really cant predict and snow does look prettier than rain, for sure.

LOL yu have to understand and thats the one thing i ahte about this site... Alot of gurls make you feel like its normal to have a 50k wedding b/c thats what a majority spend... but I def think its not the norm... LIW gurls will have you buying I DO letters, cry packs, and whatever else that can just keep adding up.... Remem... there are halls for cheaper, photogs for cheaper, etc you just haveto do your reasearch and not be swayed by the gurls on here that only go for the more popular vendors.. popularity = and it def rears its ugly head on this site...

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I definitely agree with the 'Cry packs' and other things that I've never even heard of. 'I DO letters?' ***.... Things can def get ridiculous...Im def inspired to look around and see if I can find something more reasonable. Thanks for your input!

Well first off I'd try to negotiate..every little bit can help...

If your hall is gorgeous (as is) you may be able to cut other costs, such as flowers ..etc..maybe opt for much simpler CPs to cut some costs..

50k I think is a little off..but it depends what you want and how much work you want to do. If you want a DJ with all the special effects, lighting, photo montages..and a photographer with all the newest features..CPs that are HIGH and full...etc..etc..of course your wedding could add up to 50k quite easily...but if you just want a DJ you can find one for about $900, if you DIY your CPs and B-Ks you can save yourself around $1500...I've become the Queen of Cheap because I don't want to push my wedding back another year...you can find cheaper ways to do almost everything..

If its important to you to get married by next year then write out what is most important...and how much money you'll have in that time..and see if you can alot the money to tha places that are most important and cut corners in places that aren't so important...

I agree with you completlely that you have to find a hall that you are in love with - even if its only for 5 hours - you are still shelling out a lot of money for it..so you should love it...but be reasonable...it certainly isn't worth going into debt over. Wouldn't you rather put that extra 15k towards a home you'll be in EVERY day vs. a room you'll be in for 5hrs?

Have you tried Atlantica, Surf Club. Louis XVI, Trumpets At The Gate or Cresent Beach Club? They are all a little diff, all beautiful and all on the water!

Good luck and let us know what you deceide!