Okay so my FH was in Atlantic City this past weekend for his friends bachelor party. And the last stop they made was to a strip club. Now there's nothing i can do about it. It was his friends bachelor party and i certainly don't expect my FH to sit anything out. But i had a few thoughts on the topic...
-lots of people say that it's their last chance to see some boobs or naked bodies. Now correct me if i'm wrong, but didn't the guys think of this before they put the damn ring on your finger? I mean when you give the girl a ring... it sort of means that she's it, doesn't it? And that she's the last person you're ever going to sleep with? So if you want to see more boobs or a*ses... shouldn't you wait to give her the ring or at least visit the strip club before you propose to get it out of your system? I mean how romantic is it that your FH has to go to a strip club right before he marries you? Wow that says romance to me!!!
-Okay so say your FH is at a bar and him and a group of people leave. Then he realizes he has to pee and this girl in the group says oh i'm right around the corner, you can use my bathroom (i know its far fetched, but keep with me). When your FH comes out of the bathroom, she all of a sudden comes out of the room naked.... shouldn't your FH feel awkward and that he shouldn't be seeing this, much less be there? That's its very inappropriate? So why is it okay to see someone naked as long as you PAY for it?
I know i'm rambling and all, but it just aggravates me. I mean just because some people say it's acceptable to pay to see naked women, doesn't mean that it's okay. If you're single, that's one thing. But especially when you're engaged... how is it appropriate or acceptable to see other naked women!?!?!?! My FH definitely wouldn't like me showing my goods to other people, so why would it be okay for him to see someone else's goods?
stephanief
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Re: strip clubs... vent
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by stephanief
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by mrsh2b
Posted by MayBride06
Posted by laural2979
I guess I'm in the minority here. I have absolutely no problem with FH going to a strip club. In fact, I've gone to a few of them with him and his friends. It's really just harmless fun and if it makes him happy then who am I to complain. Plus, when he gets home he's always in the mood.
Ditto. I have no problem with them.
Same here...boys will be boys and no matter how much we complain, they aren't going to change their 'tradition'.
don't be offended by this... but that statement is BULLS*IT! I'm sorry but that old saying doesn't work anymore and that isn't a reason for them to do whatever they want and we should accept whatever behavior/actions they exhibit.
I think the more of a big deal you make it, the more he is gonna want to go, take it easy, if you trust your FH, then there is no problem. Who are we to tell him what he can and cannot do, that is JMO
I'm really not making it a big deal. And its not a big deal to him. He doesn't even want to go to a strip club for his bachelor party. That's not the issue. And if you notice in my original post, i was just venting my opinions and discussing my thoughts. That's all!!!
OK, claws away !!!
aliwnec10
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Re: strip clubs... vent
Posted by stephanief
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by stephanief
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by mrsh2b
Posted by MayBride06
Posted by laural2979
I guess I'm in the minority here. I have absolutely no problem with FH going to a strip club. In fact, I've gone to a few of them with him and his friends. It's really just harmless fun and if it makes him happy then who am I to complain. Plus, when he gets home he's always in the mood.
Ditto. I have no problem with them.
Same here...boys will be boys and no matter how much we complain, they aren't going to change their 'tradition'.
don't be offended by this... but that statement is BULLS*IT! I'm sorry but that old saying doesn't work anymore and that isn't a reason for them to do whatever they want and we should accept whatever behavior/actions they exhibit.
I think the more of a big deal you make it, the more he is gonna want to go, take it easy, if you trust your FH, then there is no problem. Who are we to tell him what he can and cannot do, that is JMO
I'm really not making it a big deal. And its not a big deal to him. He doesn't even want to go to a strip club for his bachelor party. That's not the issue. And if you notice in my original post, i was just venting my opinions and discussing my thoughts. That's all!!!
OK, claws away !!!
no claws here. I don't mind discussing it and getting others opinions. See sometimes i hate it on here because people imagine you talking and imagine a certain tone that you may or may not be using. Well for me, it was just a friendly debate so to speak.
siobhanB
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Re: strip clubs... vent
Posted by aliwnec10
see... for me, it has nothing to do with trust. I trust my FH 100% completely. For me, it has to do with disrespect!! I find the whole thing disrespectful to the woman and to the marriage. I guess i'm just old fashioned that way.
And this is my personal opinion, but i don't want my FH coming home from a strip club in the mood thinking he's going to get sex from me. Because if he's in the mood... i'm not the one who got him in that mood, some naked girl did... not me.
See that is how I feel as well.
----------------------------------------------------------------- me three...
DandS
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Re: strip clubs... vent
Posted by DebsNY
Posted by july06bride
Posted by afrodyt2000
Posted by DebsNY
I know it bugs some people, but for a bachelor party, it doesn't bother me.
One of DH's friends used to go to strip clubs on a regular basis and would always try to get him to go... THAT I have a problem with.
I guess it just depends from person to person.
I agree with you.
I agree too- am I saying, YES, please go??? Nope, but its one night- no biggie...I am actually going to one too hehehehe...so how could I tell him he cant
Exactly, i'm not going to encourage it - but i'm not going to tell him he can't go to a b-party if they are going to a strip-club.
i didn't go to a strip club for mine, but I did for my friends... It was HYSTERICAL. I've never had so much fun! Mind you, it took a few large drinks to get me to really get into it, but we all just had a blast.
We all keep on asking who's getting married next so we have an excuse to go back
I agree with you girls - I don't encourage it, but I also don't get made when he goes for a BP.
I would rather him go to the club than have a couple of girls go to the house. FH's friend got married last year and he decided to go fishing for his BP (b/c his wife was totally against strippers, so that is what he told her they were doing so they would not fight). But he than told my FH that they were going to have 4 strippers come on the boat with them and do their thing while they were out in the water. FH told me about it right away and he told his friend that he did not feel comfortable doing that, so he would not go. I did not want to tell FH what to do, but he knew it would make me uncomfortable, so he said no to going. I don't mind the strippers, but I mind them hanging out on the boat with them for 8 hours (I mean come on, what do you think these girls were going to do for extra money while they had time to kill before bringing the boat back).
leighdvm
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Re: strip clubs... vent
DH went to a strip club at the end of his bachelor party and his cousin bought him a lap dance. I had my party the same night and got home after him. I walked into the bedroom and it reeked of cheap perfume. I'm woke him up and was like, 'you are getting cheap whore juice on my Donna Karan sheets?' and I made him get up and take a shower!!
I don't like strip clubs one bit and the lap dance got me a bit PO'd, but, umm, it's not like I was totally innocent at my bachlorette party!!!
JandJ1224
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Re: strip clubs... vent
Funny that this should come up today. FH and I were just discussing this yesterday. I am really against the idea of FH having a stripper at his Bachelor party. He knows how I feel and will hopefully respect me. I am a little worried about one of his GM not respecting me and getting one anway. I just like to make the point that if it is ok for him to watch these strippers, would it be just as ok if I was a stripper?! I think not!
nicolehojo
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Re: strip clubs... vent
When my Fh and I were talking, i made it extreemly clear, that i thought strip clubs, or the boys getting a stripper to come isnt right. i hate it and it makes me feel not good... who wants another woman rubbing her body all over your man's, in all sorts of crazy ways? But i said if its what you want then just remember whats done to you is done to be by another male, when i go out for my b-ette-party
Then after I told him how much i hated it... I then said if you do it, im sure my girlfriends would have no problem getting male strippers and letting them rub there stuff on me. and then i went on to say, because trust me when i tell you, you can tell when a man is arroused more than you can when a woman is... 'how cool would it be to have him dancing for me?' he was like ok ok ok i understand, then he said i dont want another man dancin like that for you.
You have to think of it in respect of what they are doing to you, if u think its ok for a stripper to let a man shake his head in there 'woo hoo's' then so be it, but isnt touching another woman sexually considered cheating?
cherish83
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Re: strip clubs... vent
Posted by siobhanB
Posted by aliwnec10
see... for me, it has nothing to do with trust. I trust my FH 100% completely. For me, it has to do with disrespect!! I find the whole thing disrespectful to the woman and to the marriage. I guess i'm just old fashioned that way.
And this is my personal opinion, but i don't want my FH coming home from a strip club in the mood thinking he's going to get sex from me. Because if he's in the mood... i'm not the one who got him in that mood, some naked girl did... not me.
See that is how I feel as well.
----------------------------------------------------------------- me three...
I agree 100%.... if she got him in the mood... why the hell would i want to do anything about that... it wasnt be that got him wanting it!
njordan414
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Re: strip clubs... vent
haha,,,I actaully posted a topic similar to this!!! Its funny because about 3 years ago,,my fiance went to one with his friends and I was sooooo mad. I hated his guts and thats all I thought about whenever I looked at him!!! I was disgusted!!! About a year ago,,I was in the city with a bunch of friends and after a long night of drinking we ended up at scores!!!! I actually had a great time there,,laughed my *** off at a few of my friends that got lap dances. We've actually gone back there to hang out a few times. So,,now that I know what really goes on there,,,it doesnt bother me! I actaully got a lap dance once by a girl(i have to admit it was a little wierd),,,and my fiance went nuts ,,, he loved it!!!!! So I have no problem with letting my fiance go every once in a while for an occasion!!!
jakcat
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Re: strip clubs... vent
Posted by laural2979
I guess I'm in the minority here. I have absolutely no problem with FH going to a strip club. In fact, I've gone to a few of them with him and his friends. It's really just harmless fun and if it makes him happy then who am I to complain. Plus, when he gets home he's always in the mood.
I have to agree with you here laural I've been with my FH and it was harmless fun. . . although I must admit, I was rather peeved when I returned from the bathroom only to be told that one of the vultures had swooped down the minute I left. . . FH had to actually grab my arm to keep me from chasing after her and gouging her eyes out It must have been a good feeling for him because it's all he could talk about for 2 days after Now he only goes if I go with him . . . apparently it's more interesting with me there to critique the fake boobs, cellulitey booties and to shoot daggers at any vulture who gets too close
mylove
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Re: strip clubs... vent
I have no problem with strip clubs... it is a biz for these girls and they see our men as $$$ only. I have been a few times with FH and it is great for our sex life. A stip club is harmless entertainment and I feel it is nothing to stress over.
aliwnec10
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Re: strip clubs... vent
Posted by jakcat
Posted by laural2979
I guess I'm in the minority here. I have absolutely no problem with FH going to a strip club. In fact, I've gone to a few of them with him and his friends. It's really just harmless fun and if it makes him happy then who am I to complain. Plus, when he gets home he's always in the mood.
I have to agree with you here laural I've been with my FH and it was harmless fun. . . although I must admit, I was rather peeved when I returned from the bathroom only to be told that one of the vultures had swooped down the minute I left. . . FH had to actually grab my arm to keep me from chasing after her and gouging her eyes out It must have been a good feeling for him because it's all he could talk about for 2 days after Now he only goes if I go with him . . . apparently it's more interesting with me there to critique the fake boobs, cellulitey booties and to shoot daggers at any vulture who gets too close
That's pretty funny! See now if my FH wanted to go to a strip club, i would go with him. I have no problem going or taking part in something of a sexual nature as a couple. Did that make sense?
Chelle
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Re: strip clubs... vent
Posted by aliwnec10 That's pretty funny! See now if my FH wanted to go to a strip club, i would go with him. I have no problem going or taking part in something of a sexual nature as a couple. Did that make sense?
I have the exact same feeling on that. I have no problem with them either actaully. I've been to them before with some friends, gotten a lap dance myself! (don't ask)... So I would actually love to go with FH if he wanted to. I think those 'adventures' together as a couple make for some steamy nights with you and your FH, that and watching a little porn together! No problemo.
The only problem I have is when it becomes, like we've all said, disrespectful to us. I just don't get when a guy NEVER goes to one and then feels the need to go to one, or have a stripper, right before he gets married. It doesn't make sense to me.
jeanla4c
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Re: strip clubs... vent
Posted by laural2979
I guess I'm in the minority here. I have absolutely no problem with FH going to a strip club. In fact, I've gone to a few of them with him and his friends. It's really just harmless fun and if it makes him happy then who am I to complain. Plus, when he gets home he's always in the mood.
I agree with you here!
There was actually a horrible strip club next to the hotel where everyone was staying for our wedding, DH and friends went after the rehearsal dinner and I went home to sleep---the stories crack me up!!!!!!!!!!!!
LBride
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Re: strip clubs... vent
As long as he's not on a first name basis with the strippers there, I could really care less.... I vacation in Europe and see more nudity on the beaches there then he does at the strip club so it's really not a huge deal.
pigs222seal
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Re: strip clubs... vent
I also have no problem with them. Almost everytime he went to a strip club, I was there right beside him. It really is harmless, well some are....or maybe I should say 'He' is harmless.
Vicky423
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Re: strip clubs... vent
Posted by VadersBride2006
Posted by laural2979
I guess I'm in the minority here. I have absolutely no problem with FH going to a strip club. In fact, I've gone to a few of them with him and his friends. It's really just harmless fun and if it makes him happy then who am I to complain. Plus, when he gets home he's always in the mood.
Me too!
The way I see it is this... if FH wants to see naked woman, he will, be it at a strip club, in a magazine or watching porn on TV or the internet. It is HIS responsibility to stop it or say no when it gets to the point where he feels uncomfortable, and believe me, when guys are truly IN LOVE, they DO feel guilt. I agree, alcohol and drugs may play a part in certain guys doing things they regret later on, but they knew what they were doing by taking part of those recreational activities. 'I didn't know what I was doing' is an excuse... you didn't KNOW you were drinking yourself into oblivion? Come on!
That being said, I freely admit to encouraging my FH to attend strip clubs, and lookat/watch porn; Like Laural says, I reap the rewards when he gets home...
PS. I posted a while back about my FH not wanting a stripper at his BP b/c he didn't want to be responsible for doing something he may regret. It just goes to show me how well he knows himself (when he starts drinking and smoking he can get a little uninhibited) and how much he values our relationship.
I agree with you girls.
mskittynj
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Re: strip clubs... vent
It doesn't bother me but I can see where you guys are coming from.... XOXOXO Kitty
lipglossjunky73
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Re: strip clubs... vent
I have to say it depends on the guy - my FH never had any interest in strip clubs... he never had a bachelor party with his 1st marriage, and he isn't having it with ours....
csui25
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Re: strip clubs... vent
You must be reading my mind! My FI and I got into a HUGE fight last night about this subject. His friends are a bit 'wild' and I am sooooo stresssed about everythingelse that the last thing I need is to be fighting about whether or not he can have strippersssssss (yes, plural) at his bachelor party. URRGGHHHH!H! It is so aggravating b/c he knows I am not into strippers so he has nothing to worry about.
