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Suggestions &...

linda_art Posted:

Suggestions &...

... I need a hug.

So I have a Bridal party consisting of a MOH and BM. My MOH, after more than one talk with her is just being HORRIBLE. A selfish, pity party throwing, useless witch. Now, I am a very gentle person. It doesn't pay for me to get loud, nasty, or even engage when someone else is being nasty. It's usually their stuff and I'd rather not personalize it. Long story short, shes always compared us, usually when I do something, she soon after does. BUT, Not this time! Shes going through her own issues and is not capable of being there for me at all. When I confronted her recently she attacked, got defensive, and then when I wasn't reacting took the pity party root and said, 'Well, its really hard for me to get up in the morning.' This quick mood swing, was a matter of a minute. SO, CLEARLY she's not capable. I'm not even asking her to do much, just show an interest and care, spend some time dress shopping, look through mags with me, talk to my SIL in CT who is putting together the Bridal Shower.

She text me the other day and wrote, 'you know what it is, it's like u expect me to be ur mother.'

Nice! My mom died 7yrs ago, my stepmom died 4yrs ago today. I havent even asked this nasty sicko to do anything close to being a mother role. I didn't react to her text. We haven't spoke in days... At the moment I think shes a terrible human being and im disgusted. She does some shady **** in her life but never to me before...

My FH had a few mths off of work and was home doing all of the wedding planning, etc. Now hes back to work 6 days a week and I have absolutely no interest. I NEED A GTG with some of you ladies but can never seem to make it when there is one.

I've just been feeling out of it, sad, and uninterested, and disappointed in MOH who has been my BF for almost 15yrs...

Hopefully after the 5/1 GTG you all have the next one sooner rather than later. I need to be around other positive happy brides, people who are on more of the same level of life and capable of feeling happy for each other.

Thanks for listening.

1112bride Posted:

Re: Suggestions &...



I'm sorry that your friend is emotionally unavailable at the moment. That really sucks, I can't believe she would make a comment like that. That is so insensitive! I don't care what people say, sometimes I can forgive, but I never forget.

I'm never really free for the GTGs either, but if you'd like I would definitely be free to meet up with you, and talk bridal stuff! Sundays are good for me, maybe a brunch!! Hope you're feeling better,and your friend realizes how rude she's being and apologizes to you!
mara1017 Posted:

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Sorry she is being so horrible to you. If you ever want to grab a drink or something let me know. We are all here for you

PeaceLoveWedding Posted:

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Ugh. My MOH can be pretty stinky at times. She's a negative person and is sometimes a little harsh. I try to brush it off. I can't believe your MOH would say that, that's pretty bad.

I would totally do brunch on a Sunday too.
soon2beMrsHenry92912 Posted:

Re: Suggestions &...



I'm so sorry that you don't have support from your MOH right, especially when you need it the most. I have friend who reminds me of yours and I've learned to distance myself from her when she is being so toxic. I know that must be so hard considering she is your best friend for 15 years, but could you turn to the other friends in your life or perhaps schedule a date night with FH to just take your mind off things and cheer you up? Me and my FH try to have one date night a week...it keeps us grounded and connected. I hope things get better soon!
pixietina Posted:

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Sorry you are going through this right now. That was a rude thing for her to say to you. I can understand how you feel and I just can't wait for next weeks GTG. Hope you can make it to one soon and relieve the stress. My FH works 6 days a week as well and it just plain sucks.

ddms7870 Posted:

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Linda, I hate to suggest this but, is there ANY way you can replace her as MOH??? NOBODY deserves that and of course you want her to be positive, helpful and happy! She has a very important role in your wedding.

I'm so sorry you are going through this! I have yet to make it to a G2G myself although the 5/1 might actually work , but if every want to get together during the week for a drink and vent, i'm usually around!!

Watermelon5 Posted:

Re: Suggestions &...

So sorry to hear this! Typically I would say you can't kick out a MOH but honestly that is disgusting that she wrote that to you and I would make an exception!

Ps - I second what Mara wrote - we are all available to talk if you need!!!!
courtneydemarco12 Posted:

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So sorry she is being such a ***** to you , I hate that, if you ever need someone to chat with or grab a drink with let me know.

Jill52787 Posted:

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Sorry!

My MOH just started a 12 month MBA program so she has understandably been VERY busy, but what yours said is just really insensitive.

irisheyezrsmilen Posted:

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im so sorry to hear about all that. i hope things are looking up for you
AlexandMike2012 Posted:

Re: Suggestions &...


Posted by ddms7870

Linda, I hate to suggest this but, is there ANY way you can replace her as MOH??? NOBODY deserves that and of course you want her to be positive, helpful and happy! She has a very important role in your wedding.




I totally agree with this!!! This is no way for an MOH to be acting and you deserve to have an amazing MOH that is totally excited for you! I'm so sorry you're going through this! I'm always down for a GTG
kdm822 Posted:

Re: Suggestions &...

Im so sorry for what your going through. Hopefully your friend comes around and understands how YOUR feeling and not just her. I have few girlfriends and i feel like i treat them how i wanna be treated and don't always get the same in return. One of my best friends used to always talk about herself when i tried to tell her what was going on in my life. After a few yrs im guessing someone else pointed it out to her and now she actually cares about listening to other people. Hopefully that happens here.

Maybe you can set a date your available for a GTG and we can start another one. I love this site and all the helpful girls on here
DonnaMarie7 Posted:

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I agree that we are all here for you and that I really think you need to find a new MOH!

FutureMrsGTL Posted:

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Im so sorry!

We're all here for you!
linda_art Posted:

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Finally just got on tonight and it made me so happy to hear from all of you and get some support. =)

I live pretty much in the middle. I'm near Roosevelt Field Mall. Because FH works 6 days a wk, Sunday is his only day off and we usually have a day full of stuff to do. I know Saturdays are busy wedding planning days for everyone but I'm usually free by 1pm until 4-5pm. Anyone has that time free pls feel free to Fm me!
JRT5412 Posted:

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I'm sorry your going thru this!!!!! that was such a horrible thing to say to you esp. coming from a close friend!!!!! Hugs your way and you came to the right place to vent!!! Feel better.
wishingwell1230 Posted:

Re: Suggestions &...

First - I am so sorry you have to deal with this right now. I think her comment to you was very rude and hurtful. If she can't be fully supportive of you through the planning process that's one thing, but for her to bring negativity to you is another.



If she is truely a good friend (and it sounds like you've known her a long time) I would talk to her and tell her how her negativity is affecting you.

If this is a reoccurring theme though, IMHO I wouldn't want all this negativity around me at this happy time in my life. (I don't know the background of your situation though, so don't take that the wrong way, it is a bit extreme)

I hope you can work things out!! We are here for you if you need us!
bella_bride Posted:

Re: Suggestions &...



You have FM

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