Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Original post by wacky

Mar 01, 2004 02:36 PM

Just curious. Im going to say me. I cant stand when people try to rationalize with a 2 year old kid..

ddunne23 Posted: Mar 01, 2004 02:50 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I do...and I also support washing a mouth out with soap when a curse word flies out of it!

I have so many friends that don't believe in a little spanking to teach a lesson and their kids run the household. Time out is a joke to these kids and they do what ever they want.

Donna Posted: Mar 01, 2004 02:53 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I agree a tap is fine...

I also don't understand when kids get sent to their rooms - yeah real punishment, they have computers, dvds, playstation, vcrs, tvs, etc...

wacky Posted: Mar 01, 2004 02:56 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

NYCHICK I agree kids def try to push the issue to see how far they can go

Becky Posted: Mar 01, 2004 02:56 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I believe in it. When a child is very young and wearing diapers, the smack on the butt doesn't hurt very much but they learn a healthy fear of the authority figure. Then the threat of a spanking is enough. Trying to reason with a two year old???? Might as well talk to the wall.

My parents did this with all of us and I can not remember them hitting any of us, just threatening it. My dad used to threaten to take his belt off several times a day, and we would be shaking in our shoes. Never once, in my entire life did he ever take his belt off. I am not even sure that he was always wearing a belt when he made those threats. But we all fell in line immediately.

I am not sure how I feel about bending a child over a knee and spanking them several times, though. Although, now that I think about it, my dad used to knock our heads together and that really hurt. I probably wont be doing that with my kids.

wacky Posted: Mar 01, 2004 02:58 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Posted by wacky

NYCHICK I agree kids def try to push the issue to see how far they can go

I agree go to your room, our punishment was to do chores,oh I hated it or we had to sit in front of my mom and read

kptoys Posted: Mar 01, 2004 02:58 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

No matter what my daughter does (20 months old) she will NOT be hit. Even if its a smack on the heiny. I believe if you tell a child that hitting is not ok then go ahead and hit when they do wrong it send the wrong confusing message. There are alternatives to hitting. Yes, they may not be as effective as a smack but if you are a consistant enough parent by a look or the tone of your voice your child will know that you are angry with them and they better stop their behavior.

jennbaby Posted: Mar 01, 2004 02:59 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I think its good!

The Original 2nd-time-around Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:00 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I do...My son has gotten 2 or 3 smacks on his butt in the past 6 years. There are just some things that require more than a 'time out'.

IrishTracy Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:00 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I agree w/ a slap on the hand! It's my last resort!

wacky Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:02 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

My GF kid spit on me one day and she didnt even get reprimanded nothing. Mom actually thought it was funny. The kid scares me

Lunatrek Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:04 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I don't agree with it. I remember being hit when I was a kid and all it did was instill FEAR... it didn't prevent me from acting up, it just made me afraid of my mom! And I don't ever want my children to be afraid of me.

shelzyp Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:06 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I don't think I will hit my kids, but I don't think it is wrong that others will. I know how it feels to get hit, since my dad used to spank my brother and I, and even sometimes with a belt. And there was nothign worse then thei, the fear I used to have when I was told to drop my pants, was enough to make me hyperventilate. So I don't know if I could even take it to a lesser degree with out having those feelings.

But my children will have respect for me, my DH and for themselves. Cursing will not be tolerated, and they will not be able to act like some of the animals I see in the store.

shelzyp Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:07 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Posted by wacky

My GF kid spit on me one day and she didnt even get reprimanded nothing. Mom actually thought it was funny. The kid scares me

I know some kids like this, my freidns son used to run into me constantly and she would not tell him ot stop. He he ram his head into my stomach or crotch, depending on how tall he was at the time, in order to knock me down. He thought it was funny.

Becky Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:09 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I feel the exact opposite of what Lunatrek posted. I think that if your kids aren't afraid of you there is nothing holding them in check.

I know this particular child who would point at people and call them fat, kick or hit anyone, yell and scream at her mother and she did not care what her mom said or did. She needed a spanking more than any child I have ever seen. I think the whole problem was that she was not afraid of her mother at all.

BriarRose Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:10 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I'm a mom who does!! Sometimes they just need to now certain behavior will not be tolerated, negotiated, or allowed!!

The Original 2nd-time-around Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:10 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Posted by Becky

I feel the exact opposite. I think that if your kids aren't afraid of you there is nothing holding them in check.

I know this particular child who would point at people and call them fat, kick or hit anyone, yell and scream at her mother and she did not care what her mom said or did. She needed a spanking more than any child I have ever seen. I think the whole problem was that she was not afraid of her mother at all.

I would hate for my child to be fearful of me, since I'm supposed to be his safe haven, however, kids need to know 'who's boss' and respect the parents authority.

michele31 Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:11 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I don't use violence to get what I want and will not use it with my child. Just my opinion. And of course, I don't think an occassional slap on the hand is abuse. But it is just not the way I want to disipline my Molly.

I don't think you should ever use reading as a punishment since then it becomes something a child hates to do. I think chores is perfect or taking away a favorite TV show that week or my favorite -No Video Games for week!! That typically hurts A LOT. Plus no dessert is always fine.

yabbobay Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:13 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Posted by OctGroom

I think a tap is acceptable. Abuse is never OK. And I think mental punishment is just as bad as physical.

I agree...but I am torn with what karen says...it sends out a contradictory message.

wacky...just curious...I love the idea of making you read...but I wonder if you looked at reading as punishment...

Becky Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:14 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Posted by shelzyp

I don't think I will hit my kids, but I don't think it is wrong that others will. I know how it feels to get hit, since my dad used to spank my brother and I, and even sometimes with a belt. And there was nothign worse then thei, the fear I used to have when I was told to drop my pants, was enough to make me hyperventilate. So I don't know if I could even take it to a lesser degree with out having those feelings.

But my children will have respect for me, my DH and for themselves. Cursing will not be tolerated, and they will not be able to act like some of the animals I see in the store.

I am not sure if I would ever take it that far and definitely never with a belt or a wooden spoon or anything else. I can't remember every being hit, but I know I was when I was little because my parents have told me that they did and because I saw them hit my younger siblings. I don't think anyone remembers being spanked.

Punishments when we were out of diapers was more along the lines of grounding, no tv, not being able to go out and play, etc. Also, going to our rooms, but we were never allowed to have tvs, phones, etc in our bedrooms.

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:15 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Just to add a quick note on fear. We all experience fear, in some way. It is not the fear that will have your child beside himself. You should up to work on time because you 'fear being reprimanded or fired', you do assignment because you 'fear' getting a failing grade, you pay your taxes because because you 'fear and Irs audit'. I think the fear you all are talking about is abusive fear and their needs to be a distinction between a spanking and abuse.