Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Original post by wacky

Mar 01, 2004 02:36 PM

Just curious. Im going to say me. I cant stand when people try to rationalize with a 2 year old kid..

wacky Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:46 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I was being serious....

kptoys Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:47 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

well ok... but Im not going to breastfeed you too

Becky Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:48 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Posted by Jordan

I think a lot of this is hard to answer until we're all in the situation - as a parent.

My mother instilled fear in me - with her temper, words and hands/fists. There is no way - absolutely NO WAY - I am that person...and therefore, that line of 'disciplining' is not even a thought or option for me.

Teaching a child respect while respecting the child, is something I hope to be able to do as a parent. I hope I am able to walk away when I feel the urge to take the easy way out and slap my child. This is a serious struggle with me - having been a child of an abusive parent. Every day I struggle with whether I will 'turn into' her or whether I will remain strong. I just don't think parenting is as easy as speculating...I think it's something you need to be entrenched in before you can actually say what it is you are and aren't, going to do and be.

JMO.

Very well said and to you.

brideinapril Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:06 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Parenting is a very hard job, being the product of being hit while growing up, I vowed I would never use that form of punishment. I think time out and the tone of my voice has worked very well for me. I am not a yeller, however maybe I just have a really great kid that listens to me. He will be six next week.

Shamee Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:14 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Absolutely. It put my $hit in check and just the mention of 'flyswatter' was an instant behavior modifier in my parents home. How many times did they actually use it? Maybe less than five throughout my growing up years (brothers and sister too) but when you heard Mom say 'I'm getting the flyswatter' holy cow, the room cleared and everyone turned into perfect little angels. Fearing your parents is one thing, my best friend was abused in all sorts of horrible manners as a small child (sexual, physical, emotional). What I felt for my parents from very little was total respect. None of us ended up in jail, we never disrespected the neighbors or our elders, etc. I can only hope to be as great a mom someday as my own mother is.

Xelindrya Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:18 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I will
it's plain and simple. When they're young they'll need to learn.

Right from Wrong.... later I hope to just use what my father did.. the fear of the possibility of getting my butt whupped.

He NEVER hit us unless we first explain to HIM what *WE* had done to screw up. Usually it wasn't the first time. We knew better and we knew very well we were gonna get hit for doing it. We'd sit in our room in anticipation and guilt over our stupid acts.

It was HELL if you lied about it and he found out. Then you got yelled at and hit and punished. It was terrible. If you told the truth and admitted you screwed up you got hit. That was it. That was enough!!

wacky Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:18 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Posted by kptoys

well ok... but Im not going to breastfeed you too

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Im sick

kptoys Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:19 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

wacky Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:23 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Im ruined for life

kptoys Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:28 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Sorry... but I breastfeed my kids and if you want me to be your mommy then its a requirement. Sorry. I hope you dont have nightmares

StayandJohn Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:28 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Absolutley! I will not let my 5 year old tell me to shut up. I know I got spanked when I was bad and I never disrespected my parents. I know of a child or 2 that need a good spanking they way they talk to their parents.

wacky Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:28 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Posted by kptoys

Sorry... but I breastfeed my kids and if you want me to be your mommy then its a requirement. Sorry. I hope you dont have nightmares

Too funny

steph4777 Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:33 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I don't see anything wrong with a slap on the a$$ occasionally. I also don't think that there's anything wrong with instilling a little fear in a child as a way to let them know that there are consequences (sp??) for their actions.

My parents spanked us occassionally. My mom used to give me the 'look' and I would stop what I was doing. Her punishment was usually making me write 500-1000 times, I won't do whatever. She never disciplined us in public except for the occasional pinch on the arm to let us know that we'd get if we didn't stop.

I personally can't see myself hitting a child with a belt. I seen it happen to my cousins and my father did that once when I was 12 for something that wasn't even my fault.

I don't understand when parents try to reason with children like they are adults. I always knew who was the child and who was the adult.

ILT1221 Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:45 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Well I didn't learn 'time out' until I met my husband and we went to a children's birthday party. I was like why is Cassandra in the corner? And he had to explain it to me.

If I can 'reason' with my child and lovingly explain why something is wrong then I will. But a good old-fashioned butt tap kept a lot of us on the straight and narrow.

halloweenbride04 Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:52 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I would try to reason with the child first but if that didn't work, I'm all for a tap on the tush. I would never spank my child in public though.

My BF has taught her 2 1/2 year old the difference between and good choice and a bad choice and it just cracks me up when she tells him to tell me what he did and he says in his 2 1/2 year-old voice 'I made a poor choice.' He still gets the occassional spank once and a while too....

yabbobay Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:53 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

this reminds me of a video on americas funniest home videos...

the kid - around 2- was trying to pour some juice in a glass (the glass was on teh floor) and he kept missing b/c his balance or aim wasn't right...but the mom who was video taping just kept encouraging and saying try again (this was apple juice...if it was grape juice it may be another story)

I only hope that I can be like that...

Stacey1403 Posted: Mar 01, 2004 05:56 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I will NEVER hit Damien!!!!!!

I was hit and it was horrible, I'm still afraid of my Father sometimes I never want Damien to be afraid of me.

All hitting teaches a child is that is OK to hurt someone who is smaller than you. I have worked with children under the age of 5 for *gulp* 18 years. I never hit any of them, I get results other ways. They all listen to me and respect me.

RedHead Posted: Mar 01, 2004 05:58 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Can someone tell me how a parent is supposed to deal with a child who has cut school (lets say they are 13 years).
They get caught...
You tell them ...go vacuum the house?
And when they tell their mothers
F*$# YOU B**%#?
Do you tell them to do the dishes?
And then they leave the house....since they won't go to time out?

What do you do then...Because this is what some of these teenagers are like now.

I can't believe the nastiness, disrespectful kids that are out there these days..And they aren't from 'bad' families either.. They are in the 'good school districts'...
A friend of mine is a custodian for a very good school district... And let me tell ya..there are 13 year old who smoke pot, give blow jobs in bathrooms and smear s*%# on walls...
Kids are just not the same when i grew up and a health dose of fear...is definately ok in my book! Because God help them if i ever got called up to a school to hear my kid smeared s*$# on bathroom walls..

MrsTC Posted: Mar 01, 2004 06:41 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Yes, I would give 1 or 2 slaps but that's it - I do not want to go beyond that. It's not necessary - I think that should get the point across. And this is a last resort - my first option would be talking to my child first. But I am not a parent yet so...I'm not an expert!

antoinette Posted: Mar 01, 2004 06:52 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I def agree that occasional spanking is perfectly fine. I dont think it should be the forst method of punishment though. I think that other tatics should be used before the last resort.