Tacky? Response Card Wording

Original post by 9509Bride

Feb 03, 2009 05:08 PM

I was researching response card wording and came across this:

'Some guests will assume that their guests/dates/friends are of course invited, regardless of to whom you address the card. You can avoid these assumptions by writing “___ of ___ guest(s) will attend”, and then pre-filling in the second blank with the number of people that you are inviting. Some may find this slightly distasteful, but it certainly does get the point across!'

....What do you all think? Is filling in the blank or the specific names of the invited guest(s) tacky? I want to avoid as many awkward follow up phone calls as possible but I dont want to offend! We are allowing some singles to bring dates but not all..

What do your RSVP cards say? .....

MrsList09 Posted: Feb 03, 2009 06:55 PM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

I think the people who would invite other people would be undeterred by that and would just cross out the number and add their own anyway.

MrsCtobe Posted: Feb 03, 2009 06:56 PM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

here is the thing, i tend to avoid stuff that seems totally logical yet will offend most. people are very touchy and id like the wedding to be as drama free as possible...

coldasice217 Posted: Feb 03, 2009 08:11 PM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

I don't think it's tacky, it's necessary.

I am having personalized response cards made, so it will say Mr. & Mrs. X, 2 seats have been reserved for you at our ceremony and reception.

Yes, ___ of us are able to attend
No, we are unable to attend

It's nice and wordy, and it's a sentence...so it lessens the blow. But the intention is still there...no uninvited kiddies or boyfriends!

CantWait2BMrsD Posted: Feb 03, 2009 08:14 PM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

I did it for a few selected people who I thought might not understand that they couldn't bring a random person. It was fine..,haven't heard any negative feedback (so far) lol

mf2009 Posted: Feb 03, 2009 08:16 PM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

Posted by Chanwich

I've gotten them that say something like
'We have reserved __ seats in your honor' with 2 if I was invited with a guest or 1 if not. I never thought it was tacky at all.

This is what I will be doing because way too often do people in my family just ASSUME they can bring whomever they want.

You should be fine, its all about how you word it

occhi21 Posted: Feb 03, 2009 08:32 PM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

I am the last in my family to get married and I know no one will bring extra people! But i do feel its kind of snobbish to say the amount of people allowed to come.Also people should know that when you address Mr and Mrs Smith its just two people not the clan should come! If you write and family then fine. I think guest should also write on the card the name and number.Its just a given!

Sweeteey51 Posted: Feb 03, 2009 08:34 PM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

No thats what im doing and its in etiquette so its not tacky. If you dont youll have people fill out more numbers than you want.

People dont always know that they CANNOT fill in extra people. I had people do that for our engagement party that was on a rsvp basis filling in more numbers than were invited.

chadjennwedding Posted: Feb 03, 2009 09:05 PM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

I would do it...I've had a friend that did it and all of our friends thought it was a good idea. I think its a good way to let people know without it being akward.

FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted: Feb 03, 2009 10:15 PM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

i did it '___ of ___ will attend' and plan on writing in the # in the 2nd blank... i dont think its tacky and if others do, oh freakin well.... they can deal...

FutureMrsC614 Posted: Feb 03, 2009 10:18 PM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

i did it '___ of ___ will attend' and plan on writing in the # in the 2nd blank... i dont think its tacky and if others do, oh freakin well.... they can deal...

i agree!!!!

babygirl85 Posted: Feb 04, 2009 01:25 AM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

Well it's not as tacky as it may seem. Im my case my response card had '_ seats have been reserved in your honor.' This just clearly states how many persons you are inviting.
I don't think there's nothing tacky about it especially if you're trying to stay within your guarantee for your hall , and some people are just plain rude in carrying along friends/family members without verifying with you first JMO

dutchessev Posted: Feb 04, 2009 08:00 AM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

I am going to do it.

tonysbride09 Posted: Feb 04, 2009 09:08 AM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

I'm going to have a problem with extra people coming b/c my family is clueless about weddings.
My stepsister sent out her RSVPs like this:

____I will attend with one guest

____I will not attend

I wonder if it would be too much to add:

___I will attend without a guest

I feel like I have to spell things out to my family.
A friend of mine once told me she felt like she had to bring a guest to a wedding b/c a seat was reserved for her and a guest

ddnsp618 Posted: Feb 04, 2009 09:32 AM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

i dont think this is rude or tacky...we are putting something to the same extent that all the other girls are....i think it lessens the blow and hopefully avoids many awkard phone calls

ange1x Posted: Feb 04, 2009 09:41 AM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

We actually wrote on our RSVP cards how many seats were reserved for people so that they would know exactly who is invited as well as their names on the outer envelope. We've ran into few issues with people either modifying the count and adding additional guests in. Some have even verbally asked if they can bring someone. It's so tough to account for these things and even if you try, it may still happen. My response to anyone that has asked to bring a guest is that we're not sure until after we receive all our RSVP's back.

PROBM Posted: Feb 04, 2009 10:14 AM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

Posted by shell1879

i'm doing
___ seats have been reserved
____/____ will be attending
___/___ decline with regrets

or something to that effect
don't think it's tacky at all with todays economy we just can't have the guest list get out of control

i like it !

pa56 Posted: Feb 04, 2009 10:38 AM

Re: Tacky? Response Card Wording

I have received RSVP cards like this for other people's weddings and I understand why it's done. We didn't do it because I told my mom I had no problem calling people up who responded with more attendees than invited and telling them they couldn't bring their date.

I didn't want my mom to be the bad guy so I did it. I just blamed it on the reception hall... saying we were at our maximum and they wouldn't let us add anymore people.