Taking pictures Pre-Ceremony vs. during Cocktail hr...

I met with my photographer last week and we were going over our options for this and that, when a certain issue came up. I told her that I wanted to see my FH for the first time when he's standing there waiting for me to enter at the start of the ceremony. For just like Jane (Katherine Heigl) in my fav. movie 27 dresses, 'My favorite part of a wedding is when the bride is walking down the aisle. I like to look back at the groom and to see the love he has on his face for her... And I can't wait for a guy to look like that at me.'

Is that too much to ask? I mean I suppose it is because after we were discussing when we would take our wedding pictures, she was basically saying that it's definitely okay if I want to keep it that way - it's just that 'if everyone in your family & wedding party is taking pictures during the cocktail hr... who will be greeting your guests when they come in?' Then another issue is that we probably wouldn't get much time to take good pictures in of just me and my FH alone as well as with the wedding party. She said if we did a 'First Look', where I see him before the ceremony, then we could take pictures with everyone before the ceremony and take pictures of just us then be able to enjoy the cocktail hr with the guests and if need be, leave for a few min to take more pictures together.


I really just don't know what to do! I've always wanted and envisioned myself walking down the aisle and seeing my FH standing there - seeing him for the first time with that loving look on his face, and having everyone else share that moment with us. After talking to my photographer though, it seems like doing that would make it a worse situation for picture taking! Ugh! What have you all decided to do or thought of doing? Anyone dealing with this and figured out a solution? Please help me out. I would really appreciate it!

We are seeing each other before the ceremony, but I say if it's important to you you should stick with your vision!

Since we are having our ceremony and reception in one location, we picked a separate location that is special to us for our reveal. We are going to meet each other there for photos and then to go our venue together. I was unsure about the idea at first, but our officient told us 'You will still have that moment' (when we see each other down the aisle) and that convinced me!

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Posted by killerqueen

Do it the way you want. Don't let a photographer talk you into something that you're going to regret.

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This! Do it how you want.. We are doing pictures before the ceremony because that's what we wanted. But if seeing your FH for the first time when you are walking down the aisle is what you want then that's what you should do!

I plan to do a 'first look' at a separate location, in the process of looking for a place that isn't too far from our venue.

FH and I want to attend our cocktail hour, because hey, we're paying for it. His words, 'I paid for it, I'm going.'

I wanted to not see my FH until I walked down the aisle as well. But after attending a friends wedding where they missed almost half of it to take pictures I changed my mind. I think I will still have that moment that you described even if its not the first time we are seeing each other that day, it is still that important moment you are walking down the aisle all the emotions will still be there even if you see each other earlier.
But you ultimately have to do what you want. Is extending the cocktail hour an option for you? Obviously that's an added cost but if you can fit that in your budget maybe that would help to make sure you get all the pictures you want without seeing each other before?

You definitely need to do what you want BUT I think that a first look before the ceremony is just as special as when you are walking down the aisle and seeing him for the first time. We are Jewish and signing a ketubah before the ceremony regardless, but I'm really excited to do the first look because it will be just 'us' (and the photographer, of course).

We are doing the first look in the suite at the hotel where I am staying the night before and I'm going to kick everyone else out of the room so that we have a moment together before we go start to take pictures.

Either way, you need to go with your gut feeling--whether it is missing some of your cocktail hour or missing that first time seeing each other walking down the aisle.

I get it and struggled with the decision to do a first look since I don't want all of our pictures to be taken in the dark lol. I firmly believe whether he sees you before or not, that look will still be on his face when you walk down that aisle

Hi ladies. Thank you all for your great help and all your comments. It took so long for me to respond because I got a call the other day that the photographer who I was about to give in our signed contact to this past week, called me and told me that they booked with someone else for our date. This was literally HEARTBREAKING for me... because this woman gave us the best deal that no other photographer, probably in the WORLD would give (unless they are your friend or family doing it for a very reduced price). This woman gave us FULL DAY coverage, an engagement shoot, & much MUCH more for well under $1000 because she wanted to be generous to us given our reallllly tight budget and our circumstances.

Met with her 2 wks ago to go over the contract then told her I would get back to her next week sometime with the signed contract maybe even as early as Monday. Turns out I was not able to give it in on Monday but I had instead planned on giving it in Friday. Friday she calls me telling me she and her assistant emailed me on Monday then again on Wednesday (which I never got (which is a little sketchy to me only because I've received every other email she's sent to me so idk). Then she broke the news to me that she booked with someone else for our date. Oh and when she called me, I had just been called as next at the hair salon where I was about to get my hair done for the engagement shoot I told her I wanted to do in the coming week. I. CRIIIIIIIED my eyes out in that hair salon. I was really devastated and kind of felt betrayed. All my hopes that were high in the sky fell flat in that moment.

I'm not saying I have no blame in this since I said I might get back to her as early as Monday. Idk.. maybe I should've called her ad told her I'd give it in on Friday? I just thought there was no real rush to give it in by Monday so I thought Friday would do since I said I'd get back to her by this week. UGH! I'm really sorry for the rant but I really just had to vent! So frustrating to have to start from square one again, knowing that we will probably never get a deal like we did - to have a photographer who takes QUALITY photos and gave so much in her package at such a discounted price. Again, thank you ladies for your thoughtful responses, but after what happened, I'm really not even in the mood to talk about photography-related stuff. Ughhh

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Posted by missmarryme46

Hi ladies. Thank you all for your great help and all your comments. It took so long for me to respond because I got a call the other day that the photographer who I was about to give in our signed contact to this past week, called me and told me that they booked with someone else for our date. This was literally HEARTBREAKING for me... because this woman gave us the best deal that no other photographer, probably in the WORLD would give (unless they are your friend or family doing it for a very reduced price). This woman gave us FULL DAY coverage, an engagement shoot, & much MUCH more for well under $1000 because she wanted to be generous to us given our reallllly tight budget and our circumstances.

Met with her 2 wks ago to go over the contract then told her I would get back to her next week sometime with the signed contract maybe even as early as Monday. Turns out I was not able to give it in on Monday but I had instead planned on giving it in Friday. Friday she calls me telling me she and her assistant emailed me on Monday then again on Wednesday (which I never got (which is a little sketchy to me only because I've received every other email she's sent to me so idk). Then she broke the news to me that she booked with someone else for our date. Oh and when she called me, I had just been called as next at the hair salon where I was about to get my hair done for the engagement shoot I told her I wanted to do in the coming week. I. CRIIIIIIIED my eyes out in that hair salon. I was really devastated and kind of felt betrayed. All my hopes that were high in the sky fell flat in that moment.

I'm not saying I have no blame in this since I said I might get back to her as early as Monday. Idk.. maybe I should've called her ad told her I'd give it in on Friday? I just thought there was no real rush to give it in by Monday so I thought Friday would do since I said I'd get back to her by this week. UGH! I'm really sorry for the rant but I really just had to vent! So frustrating to have to start from square one again, knowing that we will probably never get a deal like we did - to have a photographer who takes QUALITY photos and gave so much in her package at such a discounted price. Again, thank you ladies for your thoughtful responses, but after what happened, I'm really not even in the mood to talk about photography-related stuff. Ughhh

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Oh no :( that sucks. They definitely should have made more of an effort to reach out to you, if they promised the date to you. Unfortunately since you didn't leave a deposit they can pretty much do what they want :( so sorry this is happening for you. Try checking out complete wedding packages in east meadow I've heard they're very affordable and offer photo video and dj so obviously the more you Book the more you save. Check out their Facebook, their work is beautiful.

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Posted by rcotter90

Oh no :( that sucks. They definitely should have made more of an effort to reach out to you, if they promised the date to you. Unfortunately since you didn't leave a deposit they can pretty much do what they want :( so sorry this is happening for you. Try checking out complete wedding packages in east meadow I've heard they're very affordable and offer photo video and dj so obviously the more you Book the more you save. Check out their Facebook, their work is beautiful.

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That's what I think too. But you're right about the deposit. Without signing, it was technically left in the air. Smh. I guess there's nothing they or I can do about that now. And thank you for the tip. I checked them out before and they were a bit above our price range but I will contact them again to see anyway since I want to book someone and soon before no one is available. I'm not really in the mood to do it, but we have to search or else we'll only have iphone pictures to rely on the day of =/ Thanks again. And I hope no one else has to go through this. If you all find someone you like - book them! Before it's too late. Unfortunately I had to learn that the superduper hard way -__-'

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Posted by missmarryme46

Hi ladies. Thank you all for your great help and all your comments. It took so long for me to respond because I got a call the other day that the photographer who I was about to give in our signed contact to this past week, called me and told me that they booked with someone else for our date. This was literally HEARTBREAKING for me... because this woman gave us the best deal that no other photographer, probably in the WORLD would give (unless they are your friend or family doing it for a very reduced price). This woman gave us FULL DAY coverage, an engagement shoot, & much MUCH more for well under $1000 because she wanted to be generous to us given our reallllly tight budget and our circumstances.

Met with her 2 wks ago to go over the contract then told her I would get back to her next week sometime with the signed contract maybe even as early as Monday. Turns out I was not able to give it in on Monday but I had instead planned on giving it in Friday. Friday she calls me telling me she and her assistant emailed me on Monday then again on Wednesday (which I never got (which is a little sketchy to me only because I've received every other email she's sent to me so idk). Then she broke the news to me that she booked with someone else for our date. Oh and when she called me, I had just been called as next at the hair salon where I was about to get my hair done for the engagement shoot I told her I wanted to do in the coming week. I. CRIIIIIIIED my eyes out in that hair salon. I was really devastated and kind of felt betrayed. All my hopes that were high in the sky fell flat in that moment.

I'm not saying I have no blame in this since I said I might get back to her as early as Monday. Idk.. maybe I should've called her ad told her I'd give it in on Friday? I just thought there was no real rush to give it in by Monday so I thought Friday would do since I said I'd get back to her by this week. UGH! I'm really sorry for the rant but I really just had to vent! So frustrating to have to start from square one again, knowing that we will probably never get a deal like we did - to have a photographer who takes QUALITY photos and gave so much in her package at such a discounted price. Again, thank you ladies for your thoughtful responses, but after what happened, I'm really not even in the mood to talk about photography-related stuff. Ughhh

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I'm so sorry you are going through this sweetie! Why don't you call Capture the Moment. A couple of ladies on this site have booked with them and their quotes are posted on their site. Don't get discouraged. Where one door closes another opens. I only say that from experience because I had a little hiccup with wedding planning myself.