If you have teenagers in your wedding, how involved are they in all the planning and prep stuff? Do you expect them to really help out with stuff, or are they only involved with their dress and that's it?
My sister is 16 and with the huge age gap we're not hugely close. We get along fine when we do hang out, we just don't spend a lot of time together because our lives are in very different places. And she's very non-girly, so I don't think she'll really be all that into the whole wedding thing. I guess I'm just not sure if I should ask her to be involved in the process at all, or if I should just leave her alone about it. Being so young she has no clue what it involves to be a bridesmaid, and I'm not sure if I really want to clue her in or just let her go about her life - she's under a lot of stress right now as it is with the SATs coming up and college hunting and a lot of AP classes and play rehearsals and such...
On the other hand, it might be a way to spend some more time together and bond a little bit. But then, if it's her and me and my moh, who is my age, then she'll probably just end up feeling bored and left out. It will be wierd enough even trying to get the two of them into complementary dresses, since they are basically exact opposite body types.
Anyway, just wondering how others are dealing with the teenagers. By the time my wedding will roll around she will be starting her first semester of college, so who knows whether or not she'll be around then.
(in case it matters, she is my only bridesmaid, other than her I'm having my brother as a sort of brides-man, and my best friend as my maid of honor, and that's it.)
lipglossjunky73
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
my future stepdaughter is a MOH, she is 15, and her younger sister - 9, is a JR BM, as is my neice, who is also 9.
I don't expect much from them - I guess the other BM's will have to deal with the extra costs of stuff... Plus my stepsisetr is a Matron of honor (so I have Maid and Matron) and she doesn't do much either even though she is 7 years older than I am.
I am relying on one of my best friends who is a BM to organize... Oh well, I knew what I was getting myself into with it...
ali120206
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
I have my cousin who will be 15 in my wedding party. She is really excited about it and gets upset if I don't include her in the planning. She came with me, along with my MOH, to pick out BM dresses. She also researched them online first and came up with an idea what she liked and was running her dress ideas by me. It turned out that her and my MOH easily agreed on a dress, the same dress (I was going to let them each pick their own but, they agreed).
I would ask her for some input and see how she reacts, then you can decide how involved you want her to be from there.
FallBride05
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
Both my step-sisters were BMs at my wedding (14 & 16) I didn't expect them to do much, but I know they were really excited when I got engaged to be part of the wedding.
lipglossjunky73
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
Posted by FallBride05
Both my step-sisters were BMs at my wedding (14 & 16) I didn't expect them to do much, but I know they were really excited when I got engaged to be part of the wedding.
thats how I feel - they are going to be my stepdaughters - they should be involved as much as possible - even if it means they just went to us to different halls...
tracy2246
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
My cousin is one of my BM's. She will be 18 at the time of the wedding and starting her first year of college away. I know that when it comes to the RD and things like that she will be away at school but she will be involved as much as the other girls. I also will have her bring a friend when we go away for the BP so that when we go out she can hang out .
Mystere
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
my BMs have not been involved at all except for my 15 year old FSIL - shes been involved in most ofthe decisions and planning. I have my four cousins (3 junior BMs and 1 FG) and my sister is MOH but has been very busy, and one of my close friends is a BM and also busy but tries to help when she can. But my FSIL and i looked online and in magazines through hundreds of BM gowns before we decided on the color and designer (i decided all the girls were going to have the same color different gowns) we liked in a low price range (we loved bill levkoff but was too expensive) she has been so great!
ali120206
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
Posted by Mystere
my BMs have not been involved at all except for my 15 year old FSIL - shes been involved in most ofthe decisions and planning. I have my four cousins (3 junior BMs and 1 FG) and my sister is MOH but has been very busy, and one of my close friends is a BM and also busy but tries to help when she can. But my FSIL and i looked online and in magazines through hundreds of BM gowns before we decided on the color and designer (i decided all the girls were going to have the same color different gowns) we liked in a low price range (we loved bill levkoff but was too expensive) she has been so great!
That's how my cousin has been!
AlliNMatt06
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
I was 17 when my sister got engaged. I was so excited and went to halls and bridal shows with her. She did a lot of planning herself, but I helped where I could. I even planned the Bacherlotte party, even though I had to go home after dinner and the comedy show.
I have always been in to girly stuff, so your sister might not be interested. Ask her to come along with you places, see how she reacts. SHe might surprise you.
pupidda122505
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
My sister will be 17 when I get married and she will be my maid of honor. When I picked her I knew that I could only expect so much help from her because right now she's busy with sweet 16's, hanging out, boys etc., but it didn't matter because she's my sister and there's no one I'd rather see as my maid of honor than her. I know I'd probably have more help with stuff if I had picked a cousin or friend closer to my age but that's just something I'm gonna have to deal with. I'm sure the other girls in the BP will be more than willing to fill in her gaps with stuff like planning a Bachelorette Party.
girlygrl33
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
No the teenage girls I had 2 of them, I did not expect anything from them, even at the shower. They were just responsible for their dress , shoes and makeup hair. At my shower when my mom asked the girls for the chip in gift she didnt ask the young girls, we felt its too much for them.
weddingbunny
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
Posted by AlliNMatt06
I was 17 when my sister got engaged. I was so excited and went to halls and bridal shows with her. She did a lot of planning herself, but I helped where I could. I even planned the Bacherlotte party, even though I had to go home after dinner and the comedy show.
I have always been in to girly stuff, so your sister might not be interested. Ask her to come along with you places, see how she reacts. SHe might surprise you.
You make a good point. She very well might surprise me. I never know with her.
cindyandkevin
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
My 14 y/o cousin is a BM and very busy with her schoolwork, soccer, church choir, and a bunch of other extracurricular activities. Much like I was!!
She's really not into the wedding, and I don't really blame her. She's not thinking about getting married anytime soon, she's still being a kid and enjoying her teen years, so I'm not really expecting anything from her except being at the shower and doing the 'day of' stuff.
But really, none of my other BMs are doing anything either and they're all in their 20s. I'm not upset about their interest level, they all have things going on, so instead I'm making the best of it with my mom.
Mystere
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
Just wanted to add - my FSIL has been to all the shows with me and everything!! We've had a really great time together and we've already decided she will be married in Oheka (our favorite show/location by far) and planned her wedding She and my FMIL planned our whole engagement party, the three of us made handmade thank you cards for the shower and are in the process of doing it for the wedding, the cards were designed by FSIL (shes so creative) and came out gorgeous!! The only thing she wasnt part of was dress shopping (my mom wanted it just the two of us) and planning the shower (my aunt and mom planned it and didnt want input - i felt bad FSIL and my friend whose a BM really wanted to participate and help).
I am taking her to have a spa manicure/pedicure the day before to thank her for all the help!
jada2destiny
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
I have a 16 year old cousin in the wedding. Of course she can't contribute as much as the other girls as far as money, but we gave her little jobs like being in charge of decorations for the bridal shower.
Blu-ize
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Re: teenage bridesmaids?
I say, ask her. See how involved she wants to be. Ask her for her honest feelings about it. This is very grown up and it may make her feel like one of the adults.
