TEENAGE PREGNANCY!!!

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Posted by Snowflake08

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Posted by RKellner

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Posted by Snowflake08

hmmm that is weird since you are most fertil around 23

im not sure if 'mistake' was the right word, however, most teen pregnancies arent planned - therefore they could be seen as an 'accident'

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Accident yes.. But either way I hate the word mistake... To each his own.. But mistake just sounds so cruel to me...

Oh and my parents did plan me

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hey, im not the one that said ' mistake' i dont like that word either - just trying to 'clarify'

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No I know you arent the one that said mistake.. I was just commenting on how you said mistake may not have been the right word to use....
Im not trying to fight or attack you.... Im just giving my opinions on this subject as well

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Posted by RKellner

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Posted by Songstress

Unfortunately with a topic like this, most comments are going to be taken offensively. I dont think anything is being said as a personal attack. Sadly a lot of the time, teenage pregnancy is a mistake, ESPECIALLY, in this day and age. Back in the day, a lot of people were having children young. These days its not as acceptable and most people will not agree that teenage pregnancy is a 'good' thing. People who prove to be positive examples should be praised but unfortunately they are overshadowed by the many many young people who have kids and are not ready for them. Sorry to say.

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You are VERY right!
Its just the way some things are put into a sentence that causes it to be offensive...
Im love a good debate... I just debate more so when its something thats personal to me...
However it suckks over the computer since you cant really see any emotion in types words.... Things get taken out of context..
I appologize for sounds like a biotch... I dont mean to sound rude or attacking either...

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I understand why you would be defensive. You have a right to debate because you are very close to the situation. I would be defensive too especially on such a touchy topic. Sometimes people comment but they dont really think about people who are going through or have gone through what the topic is about. So dont feel bad about it

I am probably looking like the psycho bitchh of LIW right now!!!
I really am sorry for coming off like a nut job... Bad day.. But it still hits home to me... And its ok.. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I respect that... Sorry!

mistake/accident - i guess is the word i should have used?

i guess i didnt use the word the right way but if you werent planning on getting pregnant it was a mistake wasnt it? or was it an accident? im not saying anyones kid is a mistake but to me an unplanned pregnancy - yes that is a mistake. i guess it depends what choice of word you like better. didnt mean to offend anyone but that is just my opinion.

I think it does have to do with maturity but that doesnt mean 11-17 year olds should be having babies. We should be teaching our young ladies about safe sex and abstinence instead of supporting pregnancy. We should let them know that their giving up ALOT to raise their babies at such a young age. Unfortunately alot of young girls think its cool to have a baby and they should realize theres soooo much in this world to do and accomplish that'll they'll be restricted in doing if they have a kid.

Sure there are success stories and thats great! But the majority of stories arent so great. Especially in poor areas where their mothers are probably teen mothers themselves. Ive seen young mothers with their young daughters that are pregnant. They become grandmothers in their 30s! And their happy about it! They repeat the cycle and its never going to end.

Snowflake08 said something about us the taxpayers paying for them and yea we're not paying for all of them but alot of them. Alot of young mothers are on PA programs that us taxpayers pay into that should be going into other programs. And alot of these mothers instead of improving their lives keep having babies and stay unemployed just to stay in the system.

Let me not get into the teen FATHERS. They get these young girls pregnant and then where the hell are they?

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Posted by jennandrolo

I think it does have to do with maturity but that doesnt mean 11-17 year olds should be having babies. We should be teaching our young ladies about safe sex and abstinence instead of supporting pregnancy. We should let them know that their giving up ALOT to raise their babies at such a young age. Unfortunately alot of young girls think its cool to have a baby and they should realize theres soooo much in this world to do and accomplish that'll they'll be restricted in doing if they have a kid.

Sure there are success stories and thats great! But the majority of stories arent so great. Especially in poor areas where their mothers are probably teen mothers themselves. Ive seen young mothers with their young daughters that are pregnant. They become grandmothers in their 30s! And their happy about it! They repeat the cycle and its never going to end.

Snowflake08 said something about us the taxpayers paying for them and yea we're not paying for all of them but alot of them. Alot of young mothers are on PA programs that us taxpayers pay into that should be going into other programs. And alot of these mothers instead of improving their lives keep having babies and stay unemployed just to stay in the system.

Let me not get into the teen FATHERS. They get these young girls pregnant and then where the hell are they?

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And I agree with you!
Im not saying I condone teen pregnancy.. I just down bash the girls that are pregnant young...
I know if my daughter came home at 11 and was pregnant, I would be BEYOND disappointed and devestated... I dont have any idea what I would do...
So I do understand...
Not all teen fathers are bad.. But I know what you mean.... Ive seen it up close with my MOH...

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Posted by RKellner

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Posted by Future Mulligan

find me a 12-17 year old who is independent, lives on their own, has a job, pays rent, pays bills, knows how to cook, keeps their home clean and sanitary, does laundry, etc. etc.

im sorry but in reality there is no way a teenager can properly take care of a child on their own without having some help. a 12-17 year old can't even get a job making enough money to support themself and a child b/c they dont even have a high school diploma!! anyone who is a good teenage mother is getting help from somewhere - which thankgod these girls are getting help from their families but IMO if you need help to take care of your mistake you shouldnt be having one!

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WOW!!!!
Mistake? Who said just because you are a young mother its a mistake?!
My daughter is ANYTHING but a mistake...
My mother as 16 when she gave birth to my brother and she was pregnant with me at 17.... She doesnt have a high school diploma but my parents owned their own house when my mother was 18... They rented an apt before that... hey took care of me and my brother, on their own... My father worked.... Yes they OWNED and paid all their bills....
We turned out great and we NEVER went without ANYTHING!

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i didnt mean your daughter was a mistake. i meant becoming pregnant was a mistake/accident whatever word you want to insert there.....unless of course you planned your pregnancy which is really none of my business i wasnt directing the comment toward you.

and your mother was lucky that she had your father to help her. without him i am sure she would have had a very hard time supporting herself and two kids, with no education. other teenage girls are not so lucky. their boyfriends promise to stick around and then they are never seen again.

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Posted by Future Mulligan

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Posted by RKellner

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Posted by Future Mulligan

find me a 12-17 year old who is independent, lives on their own, has a job, pays rent, pays bills, knows how to cook, keeps their home clean and sanitary, does laundry, etc. etc.

im sorry but in reality there is no way a teenager can properly take care of a child on their own without having some help. a 12-17 year old can't even get a job making enough money to support themself and a child b/c they dont even have a high school diploma!! anyone who is a good teenage mother is getting help from somewhere - which thankgod these girls are getting help from their families but IMO if you need help to take care of your mistake you shouldnt be having one!

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WOW!!!!
Mistake? Who said just because you are a young mother its a mistake?!
My daughter is ANYTHING but a mistake...
My mother as 16 when she gave birth to my brother and she was pregnant with me at 17.... She doesnt have a high school diploma but my parents owned their own house when my mother was 18... They rented an apt before that... hey took care of me and my brother, on their own... My father worked.... Yes they OWNED and paid all their bills....
We turned out great and we NEVER went without ANYTHING!

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i didnt mean your daughter was a mistake. i meant becoming pregnant was a mistake/accident whatever word you want to insert there.....unless of course you planned your pregnancy which is really none of my business i wasnt directing the comment toward you.

and your mother was lucky that she had your father to help her. without him i am sure she would have had a very hard time supporting herself and two kids, with no education. other teenage girls are not so lucky. their boyfriends promise to stick around and then they are never seen again.

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No, I understand... Like I said touchy subject for me and bad day LOL... Its so easy to take things out of context over the computer... I have no problem sharing that my daughter was and wasnt planned... We were going to try for her but then I decided to wait until after we got married, and then SURPRISE

As far as my mother goes... She is very lucky.. it would have been hard for her... And my older brother isnt my father's child... He is but technically he isnt... And it is hard to find someone now and days that is willing to except someone else's child....

In all honesty... Me, FH, and our daughter are living with my mother right now... But only because it would be too hard for us to pay for our wedding and a place at the same time... We do pay rent and all of our bills and we do so on time... Otherwise if we werent paying for our wedding ourselves, we would be able to have our own place....

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Posted by RKellner

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Posted by Future Mulligan

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Posted by RKellner

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Posted by Future Mulligan

find me a 12-17 year old who is independent, lives on their own, has a job, pays rent, pays bills, knows how to cook, keeps their home clean and sanitary, does laundry, etc. etc.

im sorry but in reality there is no way a teenager can properly take care of a child on their own without having some help. a 12-17 year old can't even get a job making enough money to support themself and a child b/c they dont even have a high school diploma!! anyone who is a good teenage mother is getting help from somewhere - which thankgod these girls are getting help from their families but IMO if you need help to take care of your mistake you shouldnt be having one!

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WOW!!!!
Mistake? Who said just because you are a young mother its a mistake?!
My daughter is ANYTHING but a mistake...
My mother as 16 when she gave birth to my brother and she was pregnant with me at 17.... She doesnt have a high school diploma but my parents owned their own house when my mother was 18... They rented an apt before that... hey took care of me and my brother, on their own... My father worked.... Yes they OWNED and paid all their bills....
We turned out great and we NEVER went without ANYTHING!

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i didnt mean your daughter was a mistake. i meant becoming pregnant was a mistake/accident whatever word you want to insert there.....unless of course you planned your pregnancy which is really none of my business i wasnt directing the comment toward you.

and your mother was lucky that she had your father to help her. without him i am sure she would have had a very hard time supporting herself and two kids, with no education. other teenage girls are not so lucky. their boyfriends promise to stick around and then they are never seen again.

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No, I understand... Like I said touchy subject for me and bad day LOL... Its so easy to take things out of context over the computer... I have no problem sharing that my daughter was and wasnt planned... We were going to try for her but then I decided to wait until after we got married, and then SURPRISE

As far as my mother goes... She is very lucky.. it would have been hard for her... And my older brother isnt my father's child... He is but technically he isnt... And it is hard to find someone now and days that is willing to except someone else's child....

In all honesty... Me, FH, and our daughter are living with my mother right now... But only because it would be too hard for us to pay for our wedding and a place at the same time... We do pay rent and all of our bills and we do so on time... Otherwise if we werent paying for our wedding ourselves, we would be able to have our own place....

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i didnt mean to hurt your or anyone elses feelings. i just hate that some people think having children is a piece of cake or a joke and they dont take it seriously. i also think its sad that girls who get pregnant by accident feel that they have to do the 'right thing' and have a baby that they dont want. what do you think happens to those children? luckily you come from a decent family who loves you and your FH and your daughter. <3

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Posted by kellybean

I dont think mistake / accident should ever be used in any sentence having to do witht he birth and or conception of a child......IMO......I think that people who have never been there have no idea .....we all make choices in our lives....did I sacrifce alot for my kids by having them young ...sure nights out at clubs etc...NOTHING else ...and honestly ...though I missed out on things as I was younger when I am 40...both of my boys will be in college. I will have alot of living for me to do if i so chose to .........Were my parents thrilled I was so young? no .....are they amazing grandparents ...YES......did they stand by me ....YES and it made me a better person.....if one of my boys gets someone pregnant will I stand by them YES.........as a young mom ....people dont realize how hard the judgments of other people make it.....and I can see how alot of young moms end up going the welfare route....every one excpects you too...Society sets young moms up to fail.....I dont think it should be promoted or glorified but to judge is not right......I love my sons more then I ever thought I could love anything....I still go shopping with the girls....and the little men...my friends adore my sons ......they go to their games / functions etc........if it hadnt been for the people around me supporting (not financially) I could never have done the things that I have ..........and honestly Id rather my tax money going to making sure any child has a roof over head food in the tummy and health insurance then have the garbage they go to....yes people abuse the system....most of the 'systems' are abused.......

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Posted by Future Mulligan

find me a 12-17 year old who is independent, lives on their own, has a job, pays rent, pays bills, knows how to cook, keeps their home clean and sanitary, does laundry, etc. etc.

im sorry but in reality there is no way a teenager can properly take care of a child on their own without having some help. a 12-17 year old can't even get a job making enough money to support themself and a child b/c they dont even have a high school diploma!! anyone who is a good teenage mother is getting help from somewhere - which thankgod these girls are getting help from their families but IMO if you need help to take care of your mistake you shouldnt be having one!

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I lived on my own at 16-19 and I made damn sure I had a job and clean clothes etc. I worked 3 sometimes 4 jobs to survive!..i was pregnant when i was 17 and had a miscarriage but i was all ready to do what I had to do in my situation.....so there are a few young people who can live on their own and take responsibility at a young age.

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Posted by Future Mulligan

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Posted by RKellner

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Posted by Future Mulligan

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Posted by RKellner

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Posted by Future Mulligan

find me a 12-17 year old who is independent, lives on their own, has a job, pays rent, pays bills, knows how to cook, keeps their home clean and sanitary, does laundry, etc. etc.

im sorry but in reality there is no way a teenager can properly take care of a child on their own without having some help. a 12-17 year old can't even get a job making enough money to support themself and a child b/c they dont even have a high school diploma!! anyone who is a good teenage mother is getting help from somewhere - which thankgod these girls are getting help from their families but IMO if you need help to take care of your mistake you shouldnt be having one!

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WOW!!!!
Mistake? Who said just because you are a young mother its a mistake?!
My daughter is ANYTHING but a mistake...
My mother as 16 when she gave birth to my brother and she was pregnant with me at 17.... She doesnt have a high school diploma but my parents owned their own house when my mother was 18... They rented an apt before that... hey took care of me and my brother, on their own... My father worked.... Yes they OWNED and paid all their bills....
We turned out great and we NEVER went without ANYTHING!

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i didnt mean your daughter was a mistake. i meant becoming pregnant was a mistake/accident whatever word you want to insert there.....unless of course you planned your pregnancy which is really none of my business i wasnt directing the comment toward you.

and your mother was lucky that she had your father to help her. without him i am sure she would have had a very hard time supporting herself and two kids, with no education. other teenage girls are not so lucky. their boyfriends promise to stick around and then they are never seen again.

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No, I understand... Like I said touchy subject for me and bad day LOL... Its so easy to take things out of context over the computer... I have no problem sharing that my daughter was and wasnt planned... We were going to try for her but then I decided to wait until after we got married, and then SURPRISE

As far as my mother goes... She is very lucky.. it would have been hard for her... And my older brother isnt my father's child... He is but technically he isnt... And it is hard to find someone now and days that is willing to except someone else's child....

In all honesty... Me, FH, and our daughter are living with my mother right now... But only because it would be too hard for us to pay for our wedding and a place at the same time... We do pay rent and all of our bills and we do so on time... Otherwise if we werent paying for our wedding ourselves, we would be able to have our own place....

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i didnt mean to hurt your or anyone elses feelings. i just hate that some people think having children is a piece of cake or a joke and they dont take it seriously. i also think its sad that girls who get pregnant by accident feel that they have to do the 'right thing' and have a baby that they dont want. what do you think happens to those children? luckily you come from a decent family who loves you and your FH and your daughter. <3

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i think thats the view we're coming from. we were never in those shoes so of course we dont know and all we see are the sad stories and not the successes. but that doesnt mean we dont know there are success stories. i wasnt trying to upset anyone either but like i said there are sad stories where children of young immature parents are abused, neglected and malnourished. If those mothers were more mature and educated in having babies, their children wouldnt be in those situations.

i understand the young mothers on this board are defending themselves because they have done well for their kids but we are talking about the ones who havent, at least I was.

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Posted by angl2001

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Posted by Future Mulligan

find me a 12-17 year old who is independent, lives on their own, has a job, pays rent, pays bills, knows how to cook, keeps their home clean and sanitary, does laundry, etc. etc.

im sorry but in reality there is no way a teenager can properly take care of a child on their own without having some help. a 12-17 year old can't even get a job making enough money to support themself and a child b/c they dont even have a high school diploma!! anyone who is a good teenage mother is getting help from somewhere - which thankgod these girls are getting help from their families but IMO if you need help to take care of your mistake you shouldnt be having one!

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I lived on my own at 16-19 and I made damn sure I had a job and clean clothes etc. I worked 3 sometimes 4 jobs to survive!..i was pregnant when i was 17 and had a miscarriage but i was all ready to do what I had to do in my situation.....so there are a few young people who can live on their own and take responsibility at a young age.

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i agree that there are. i just wish those that definitely arent responsible enough will be wise enough to be safe.

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Posted by Mimacat

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Posted by RKellner

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Posted by Future Mulligan

find me a 12-17 year old who is independent, lives on their own, has a job, pays rent, pays bills, knows how to cook, keeps their home clean and sanitary, does laundry, etc. etc.

im sorry but in reality there is no way a teenager can properly take care of a child on their own without having some help. a 12-17 year old can't even get a job making enough money to support themself and a child b/c they dont even have a high school diploma!! anyone who is a good teenage mother is getting help from somewhere - which thankgod these girls are getting help from their families but IMO if you need help to take care of your mistake you shouldnt be having one!

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WOW!!!!
Mistake? Who said just because you are a young mother its a mistake?!
My daughter is ANYTHING but a mistake...
My mother as 16 when she gave birth to my brother and she was pregnant with me at 17.... She doesnt have a high school diploma but my parents owned their own house when my mother was 18... They rented an apt before that... hey took care of me and my brother, on their own... My father worked.... Yes they OWNED and paid all their bills....
We turned out great and we NEVER went without ANYTHING!

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I think she meant that no 17 year would ever PLAN a pregnancy.

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i actually know a few people who did get pregnant on purpose at 17 and 18 ...it does happen. i would have loved to be pregnant when i was around 20...but some things just arent ment to be

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Posted by jennandrolo

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Posted by Future Mulligan

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Posted by RKellner

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Posted by Future Mulligan

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Posted by RKellner

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Posted by Future Mulligan

find me a 12-17 year old who is independent, lives on their own, has a job, pays rent, pays bills, knows how to cook, keeps their home clean and sanitary, does laundry, etc. etc.

im sorry but in reality there is no way a teenager can properly take care of a child on their own without having some help. a 12-17 year old can't even get a job making enough money to support themself and a child b/c they dont even have a high school diploma!! anyone who is a good teenage mother is getting help from somewhere - which thankgod these girls are getting help from their families but IMO if you need help to take care of your mistake you shouldnt be having one!

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WOW!!!!
Mistake? Who said just because you are a young mother its a mistake?!
My daughter is ANYTHING but a mistake...
My mother as 16 when she gave birth to my brother and she was pregnant with me at 17.... She doesnt have a high school diploma but my parents owned their own house when my mother was 18... They rented an apt before that... hey took care of me and my brother, on their own... My father worked.... Yes they OWNED and paid all their bills....
We turned out great and we NEVER went without ANYTHING!

---

i didnt mean your daughter was a mistake. i meant becoming pregnant was a mistake/accident whatever word you want to insert there.....unless of course you planned your pregnancy which is really none of my business i wasnt directing the comment toward you.

and your mother was lucky that she had your father to help her. without him i am sure she would have had a very hard time supporting herself and two kids, with no education. other teenage girls are not so lucky. their boyfriends promise to stick around and then they are never seen again.

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No, I understand... Like I said touchy subject for me and bad day LOL... Its so easy to take things out of context over the computer... I have no problem sharing that my daughter was and wasnt planned... We were going to try for her but then I decided to wait until after we got married, and then SURPRISE

As far as my mother goes... She is very lucky.. it would have been hard for her... And my older brother isnt my father's child... He is but technically he isnt... And it is hard to find someone now and days that is willing to except someone else's child....

In all honesty... Me, FH, and our daughter are living with my mother right now... But only because it would be too hard for us to pay for our wedding and a place at the same time... We do pay rent and all of our bills and we do so on time... Otherwise if we werent paying for our wedding ourselves, we would be able to have our own place....

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i didnt mean to hurt your or anyone elses feelings. i just hate that some people think having children is a piece of cake or a joke and they dont take it seriously. i also think its sad that girls who get pregnant by accident feel that they have to do the 'right thing' and have a baby that they dont want. what do you think happens to those children? luckily you come from a decent family who loves you and your FH and your daughter. <3

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i think thats the view we're coming from. we were never in those shoes so of course we dont know and all we see are the sad stories and not the successes. but that doesnt mean we dont know there are success stories. i wasnt trying to upset anyone either but like i said there are sad stories where children of young immature parents are abused, neglected and malnourished. If those mothers were more mature and educated in having babies, their children wouldnt be in those situations.

i understand the young mothers on this board are defending themselves because they have done well for their kids but we are talking about the ones who havent, at least I was.

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there are plenty of highly educated people with lots of money and great jobs...the neglect / abuse / molest their children

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Posted by kellybean

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Posted by jennandrolo

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Posted by Future Mulligan

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Posted by RKellner

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Posted by Future Mulligan

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Posted by RKellner

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Posted by Future Mulligan

find me a 12-17 year old who is independent, lives on their own, has a job, pays rent, pays bills, knows how to cook, keeps their home clean and sanitary, does laundry, etc. etc.

im sorry but in reality there is no way a teenager can properly take care of a child on their own without having some help. a 12-17 year old can't even get a job making enough money to support themself and a child b/c they dont even have a high school diploma!! anyone who is a good teenage mother is getting help from somewhere - which thankgod these girls are getting help from their families but IMO if you need help to take care of your mistake you shouldnt be having one!

---

WOW!!!!
Mistake? Who said just because you are a young mother its a mistake?!
My daughter is ANYTHING but a mistake...
My mother as 16 when she gave birth to my brother and she was pregnant with me at 17.... She doesnt have a high school diploma but my parents owned their own house when my mother was 18... They rented an apt before that... hey took care of me and my brother, on their own... My father worked.... Yes they OWNED and paid all their bills....
We turned out great and we NEVER went without ANYTHING!

---

i didnt mean your daughter was a mistake. i meant becoming pregnant was a mistake/accident whatever word you want to insert there.....unless of course you planned your pregnancy which is really none of my business i wasnt directing the comment toward you.

and your mother was lucky that she had your father to help her. without him i am sure she would have had a very hard time supporting herself and two kids, with no education. other teenage girls are not so lucky. their boyfriends promise to stick around and then they are never seen again.

---

No, I understand... Like I said touchy subject for me and bad day LOL... Its so easy to take things out of context over the computer... I have no problem sharing that my daughter was and wasnt planned... We were going to try for her but then I decided to wait until after we got married, and then SURPRISE

As far as my mother goes... She is very lucky.. it would have been hard for her... And my older brother isnt my father's child... He is but technically he isnt... And it is hard to find someone now and days that is willing to except someone else's child....

In all honesty... Me, FH, and our daughter are living with my mother right now... But only because it would be too hard for us to pay for our wedding and a place at the same time... We do pay rent and all of our bills and we do so on time... Otherwise if we werent paying for our wedding ourselves, we would be able to have our own place....

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i didnt mean to hurt your or anyone elses feelings. i just hate that some people think having children is a piece of cake or a joke and they dont take it seriously. i also think its sad that girls who get pregnant by accident feel that they have to do the 'right thing' and have a baby that they dont want. what do you think happens to those children? luckily you come from a decent family who loves you and your FH and your daughter. <3

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i think thats the view we're coming from. we were never in those shoes so of course we dont know and all we see are the sad stories and not the successes. but that doesnt mean we dont know there are success stories. i wasnt trying to upset anyone either but like i said there are sad stories where children of young immature parents are abused, neglected and malnourished. If those mothers were more mature and educated in having babies, their children wouldnt be in those situations.

i understand the young mothers on this board are defending themselves because they have done well for their kids but we are talking about the ones who havent, at least I was.

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there are plenty of highly educated people with lots of money and great jobs...the neglect / abuse / molest their children

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yea i agree thats why i said in my first post it does have to do with maturity. i meant maturity in all ages.

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Posted by Topher

I was preggo at 18 with twins. Its a shame how people judge you. I went through so much such as baptising my kids MY parish told me to get married first than come back.
They are THE best most important little people to enter my life.
It happens and to some teens it shouldn't because they don't take the responsibilty.

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oh you always get that from the priest......when i went to baptize my daughter, at what 22..? the priest gave me and FH the longest lecture of our lives on why we should get married lol

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Posted by Snowflake08

i work in an area where there are MANY 13 and 14 year olds having kids, and they are ALL on public assistance

they dont work, dont even TRY to work
26 yeras old with 10 year olds and pick their kids up from school in pajamas and stinking like weed

and this is ALL over

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i can agree with you here, i dont see any of them making an effort...my daughetrs school is like that, there was school meeting on what parents can volunteer...and out of around 15 parents, me and only another lady were the only working parents in the class