Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

Nikki_Liz Posted: Oct 06, 2011 04:45 PM

Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

OK so I know I have a long way to go before this is an issue, but I'm literally getting anxiety sick about it already.

The bachelor party lap dances and strippers and boobs

I know it's all my own insecurity and I totally trust my FH but part of me wants to ask if he would be ok with me getting naked and dry humping a random stranger ..

I've already had nightmares about this.

Is anyone else freaked out about this in the least? I don't want to ask him not to do it, I don't want to be that girl.

pixietina Posted: Oct 06, 2011 04:51 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

I told FH no strippers because I want him to do something fun and different. We have gone to strip clubs together so its not big deal. Almost all the GM's have a significant other so I don't think that they want strippers either. Open up to him about how you feel and talk about it. As long as your not raising your voice about it or making a scene then you won't be considered 'one of those girls'

leidyk Posted: Oct 06, 2011 04:52 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

awww...haha...is this exactly what he told you he was having? I don't think you should be worrying about this, after all this is the man you're marrying, and whom I guess you trust.. we all have insecurities, but I really don't think you should be letting them take over!...

mds110286 Posted: Oct 06, 2011 04:53 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

i HATE strip clubs and strippers, this is something that FH and I spoke about right when we started dating so he already knows how i feel about them and that i have no tolerance for it - i really dont care if im 'that girl' but part of my its insecurity and the other part it is a respect issue. With that he will not be seeing or touching boobs or *** for his bachelor party, im kinda lucky bc he and his friends arent really like that anyway.

wishingwell1230 Posted: Oct 06, 2011 04:55 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

I told FH I don't care if he goes to a strip club, just please no lap dances. But he said 'if my friends buy me a lap dance I'm not going to turn it down.'

I trust him completely and I know he won't do anything but the idea of the lap dance makes me uncomfortable. We haven't brought it up in a while. I think I'm just going to have to suck it up for a night and move on...I may need to get very drunk that night! Perhaps I should plan my bachlorette party for the same night! LOL

Nikki_Liz Posted: Oct 06, 2011 05:05 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

Posted by wishingwell1230

I told FH I don't care if he goes to a strip club, just please no lap dances. But he said 'if my friends buy me a lap dance I'm not going to turn it down.'

I trust him completely and I know he won't do anything but the idea of the lap dance makes me uncomfortable. We haven't brought it up in a while. I think I'm just going to have to suck it up for a night and move on...I may need to get very drunk that night! Perhaps I should plan my bachlorette party for the same night! LOL

THIS!!!!!!

It's not the stripper thing that gets me so much as some girl with her boobs in his face. He's a boob guy this makes me twitchy.
Some of his friends have done some raunchy disgusting things at their bachelor parties and I know that he in no way would do ANYTHING like they've done. I just feel like if he's looking at these girls who get paid to be overtly sexual and super hot (of which I am neither) I'm going to look like just a little less.

My FH would say the same thing about the 'it's rude to turn down it down if a friend buys it'

I'm hoping my best friend can make an extra trip from Rochester to keep me sane.

KL824 Posted: Oct 06, 2011 05:50 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

You're not crazy, none of us like when big boobed strange women are prancing around our men...just try not to make this whole idea of strippers make you crazy. Nothing bad will happen...just guys being guys.

Sometimes I think guys like saying they like strippers because they 'should' like them. He will really just want to get home to you!

Jill52787 Posted: Oct 06, 2011 06:19 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

I don't think its an insecurity at all! If you're 'insecure' about girls grinding on your FH....how is that your problem? To me, it has nothing to do with trust. We all know our FHs are not going to take them into a back room and screw them, but if any other random girl did what a stripper did to them, it would be cheating. And so in my eyes, a lap dance is cheating also.

Needless to say my FH will not be going to any

FutureWifey Posted: Oct 06, 2011 06:36 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

I love strip clubs and strippers and boobs! Just not all over my FH! I am applying a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy when it comes to this. My bachelorette party will most likely be crazier than his party, so no wories for me!

If he tells me though.. I'll be fuming. (but I still won't tell him what I did )

oomoom Posted: Oct 06, 2011 06:39 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

Posted by Jill52787
.....And so in my eyes, a lap dance is cheating also.

Needless to say my FH will not be going to any

It literally is cheating. Nobody should encourage this behavior! I've told my FH that there was NO WAY he was going to a strip club. That's not even an option! But, see, I'm prob a few years older than u girls, so I am not afraid of speaking my mind ;)

christinajimmy06 Posted: Oct 06, 2011 07:49 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

I don't think you're crazy and can see why you would be upset.
I'm not too worried about FH going.
If he does, he does... If he doesn't, he doesn't.

His dad won't be going with him, but I'm pretty sure his groomsmen have already told his dad that they plan on taking him out.
I trust FH to make the right choices. (lap dance or no lap dance, but I'm sure with the friends that go, he'll end up with one, two or six.. ) I don't see it as cheating.

We've been to many strip clubs together (think I may have been to more than him lol)

It's all about the communication between you and your FH and what you're comfortable with.

sjr385 Posted: Oct 06, 2011 08:22 PM

.

Nikki_Liz Posted: Oct 06, 2011 09:18 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

Thank you ladies It came up with some girls at work and they're all telling me I need to loosen up, glad there's people who see the other sides too.

Supermans Posted: Oct 06, 2011 09:43 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

have you talked about it with FH?

I'm not worried, because we set ground rules... like i'm ok with him hypothetically going to a strip club, but not ordering a stripper to a home or hotel. also no private room stuff. and nobody's mouth on anybody's anything.

I totally trust FH, but I know that sometimes guys can be pressured by their friends, so I'll go over the 'rules' with his bro and bff (who I totally trust as well) so that they can back him up if any of the other guys try to pressure him into anything i wouldn't be comfortable with.

does he have any buddies you could talk with?

soon2bmrsammo Posted: Oct 06, 2011 11:21 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

To by pass the whole drama thing of the typical 'bachelor' 'bachelorette' parties. FH and I are having a combined thing with our family and friends. This way, no ones worrying and will be no drama. I'm definitely not for the whole stripper thing.

LIbridey88 Posted: Oct 08, 2011 12:32 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

my FH friends tried to get him to go to Mardi Gras! He said no but I was PPPPPPIIIIIIIISSSSSSEEEEDDDD!!!

FutureMrsZ Posted: Oct 08, 2011 05:15 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

I put this pic on his FB page.

9745645_1.jpg

Jdegeronimo22 Posted: Oct 08, 2011 06:07 PM

Re: Tell me I'm just crazy... please...

I'm hoping that my FH and I can have a combined party with our friends!. Even before we were engaged I always told him that having strippers grinding all over you is cheating to me and I'd be soo upset if he had any at his bachelor party lol. I've been with him for over six years I really can't see him doing anything like that but boys will be boys!.