I was always thinking that if someone who showed up to the wedding did not get us a gift, I would thank them for sharing the day with us...
but my mother says not to...she says if the guest don't get a thank you and DID send a gift they will wonder if it got to us...and that if we send them a thank you they will think we did get it...
what would you do?
Mrs2Be
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Re: thank you question
My sister had this problem at her wedding. She ended up sending them a thank you (hesitant of course!) and basically just thanked them for sharing the day with her and no mention of gifts or anything.
It's a tough call...she had 2 couples at her wedding that never gave a gift. It's so rude! (or are we just selfish brides??)
Teri
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Re: thank you question
I would send a TY if they attended, even without a gift. You can do exactly as you suggested and just thank them for sharing your day.
I don't really understand what you mean in the second part about your mom though LOL
LisaT
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Re: thank you question
We have a bunch of people who still haven't sent gifts. Some have told us the gifts are coming. Others we wonder about.
I sent thank you's anyway for celebrating with us.
lisa...for the ones that told you they are on the way...did you send a thank you for sharing the day or did you wait?
teri...my mom thinks that maybe the people DID give a gift and if they don't get a thank you they will wonder if we got it or not (maybe lost somewhere?)
Marnles
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Re: thank you question
My friend who married last Oct. told me that I will be shocked by some who do not bring gifts. They had a groomsman who didn't give a gift, and because the groom was so shocked by this, he actually asked his friend (very good friend) if perhaps it was 'lifted', and his friend said he was sorry, but just felt what he had spent on the wedding was gift enough.
It made me think about the situation, and I would personally still send a thank you for spending the day with us...good luck with it...
Teri
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Re: thank you question
ah, ok, now I understand!
I'd still send a TY, and in the note you can just write that you both appreciated they could spend the day with you, or something to that effect. That way, you're not necessarily thanking them for a gift, just their presence!
This happened to my sister - I just don't get it. Even if someone's really tight on money, they should at least show up with a small gift - $15 picture frame, something?
michele31
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Re: thank you question
I will send a TY to each guest, no matter what the do or don't give us. Honestly it is about saying thank you for spending one of your days off (or taking off) with us and celebrating. It isn't like we send a better TY to the guests who give us better gifts anyway. Your Mom is right that sometimes gifts are lost or even forgotten but some people will just think you are rude and didn't send TY notes. Tha is what I would think.
Cira
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Re: thank you question
We were actually missing one envelope ... my husband's stepsister - but he could have swore she gave us an envelope, so he asked his dad and his dad and stepmom said they would find out - they knew that she gave a gift. It turned out that she sent a gift later on, because she had a lot of expenses that weekend. No biggie - but we felt bad, we thought she had given it to us and we had lost it! That was the only thing that happened to us. I would though, send a thank you for 'sharing the day' - but I would try to find out through a close friend or relative of yours to see if these people gave you a gift or not. Nonchalantly!
Suzanne
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Re: thank you question
My MOH didnt give us a gift.. i sent her a thank you for sharing the day..my motther said not to but if felt i should,.
LisaT
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Re: thank you question
Erica-
I did send thank yous to those that mentioned a gift was coming - I'll send another when the gift arrives.
We had a lot of people who have yet to give gifts (around 10). For some of those people, I don't care if gifts never come. It was just so great that they made the effort and expense to come to the wedding (those flying in from CA). For those that live on LI and who's weddings we went to and gave gifts - I'll still hoping something shows up.
p.s. I sent a thank you to my old roommate thanking her and her boyfriend for flying in from San Francisco for the wedding. I actualy saw her last night and she was thanking me for the thank you. She thought it was really nice since the gift wasn't given yet.
