The +1 drama begins...

i dont think you are wrong...we are doing the same thing. if they have been together for a few months and are not dating other people they will get invited with their date (we will be spelling out their names on the invite though not just 'and gust'). People that are single or dating will be invited alone.
if someone feels we are wrong and want to be invited with a guest let them talk to us about it.
A wedding is so expensive per person that for me, we budgetted for 200 guests. i would rather have 200 guests that i know then 150 people i know and 50 'dates'. it is my day and i dont care if they arent happy!!!
but again...'to each his own'

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Posted by April_Luv

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Posted by LindyBride22
I am sort of starting to rethink though....it wouldn't be a ton of extra people. But if I just did it as a courtesy do you think they would not bring someone if they weren't dating? Or would they bring a random person just for the sake of it? Have you seen people do this or are they generally pretty reasonable?

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A friend of mine was given a plus one for a date at a wedding last year and instead of bringing the date, she brought a 'female friend' of hers that the bride didnt know....for me thats a major no no. If you dont a have date , why bring a girlfriend just so you wont be alone. That is so rude!

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Ugh, see, thats what I dont want. Unless of course they really dont know anyone but if they are part of a group of friends I would hope they dont bring someone totally random just because they 'can.'

Maybe if I dont put guest on the invite and just wait and see and if they can ask to bring a date tell them they can? It sounds like from the beginning of this thread that that still might offend people though. Sigh.....

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Posted by LindyBride22

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Posted by April_Luv

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Posted by LindyBride22
I am sort of starting to rethink though....it wouldn't be a ton of extra people. But if I just did it as a courtesy do you think they would not bring someone if they weren't dating? Or would they bring a random person just for the sake of it? Have you seen people do this or are they generally pretty reasonable?

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A friend of mine was given a plus one for a date at a wedding last year and instead of bringing the date, she brought a 'female friend' of hers that the bride didnt know....for me thats a major no no. If you dont a have date , why bring a girlfriend just so you wont be alone. That is so rude!

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Ugh, see, thats what I dont want. Unless of course they really dont know anyone but if they are part of a group of friends I would hope they dont bring someone totally random just because they 'can.'

Maybe if I dont put guest on the invite and just wait and see and if they can ask to bring a date tell them they can? It sounds like from the beginning of this thread that that still might offend people though. Sigh.....

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And the kicker is the friend NEVER said hello or anything to the bride and groom. So bassically she was only there for ther food and drinks...loll just sad! How could you go to a wedding and never speak to the couple???

But Honestly hunn i hope everything works out for you because with me i could give a hoot if it offends anyone. If they really love and care for you and FH no matter -what they will be there for you both! dont let it worry you too much

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Posted by April_Luv

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Posted by LindyBride22

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Posted by April_Luv

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Posted by LindyBride22
I am sort of starting to rethink though....it wouldn't be a ton of extra people. But if I just did it as a courtesy do you think they would not bring someone if they weren't dating? Or would they bring a random person just for the sake of it? Have you seen people do this or are they generally pretty reasonable?

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A friend of mine was given a plus one for a date at a wedding last year and instead of bringing the date, she brought a 'female friend' of hers that the bride didnt know....for me thats a major no no. If you dont a have date , why bring a girlfriend just so you wont be alone. That is so rude!

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Ugh, see, thats what I dont want. Unless of course they really dont know anyone but if they are part of a group of friends I would hope they dont bring someone totally random just because they 'can.'

Maybe if I dont put guest on the invite and just wait and see and if they can ask to bring a date tell them they can? It sounds like from the beginning of this thread that that still might offend people though. Sigh.....

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And the kicker is the friend NEVER said hello or anything to the bride and groom. So bassically she was only there for ther food and drinks...loll just sad! How could you go to a wedding and never speak to the couple???

But Honestly hunn i hope everything works out for you because with me i could give a hoot if it offends anyone. If they really love and care for you and FH no matter -what they will be there for you both! dont let it worry you too much

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You girls are great, thanks. The sad thing is the guy that said it is so chill and laid back I'm sure he was just assuming, didnt mean anything by it and would not be offended. And definitely didnt realize the spiral of doubt the comment would send me into

it is not wrong... but fwiw, i invited everyone with a guest and 90% of the people that werent in a serious relationship at the time replied that they were coming alone...

crashing, but i had the same problem..... and they got invites with just their name on it.

i even had people sending RSVP's back with plus ones!!! yeah like come on people. DH got so mad bc my head would spin off my body and the horns would come out and he would say 'come on whats one more, your being a b!tch'. and i had to call them and say umm helllo your coming alone! i only have so much room and so much money.

they will get over it. just explain to them like i did. i said ' im sorry but only people in a realationship a year or longer can come with a guest,i even have family coming with out guests bc i dont have room'

Right. Most of FH'd friends are married, and a lot of my friends are single. We made the cut there. If you have been dating someone for a few months or more, you bring them.

I can't afford to have people 'find' a date. Especially when our whole group of singles will be there

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Posted by atitus724

im only allowing guests to my bp and serious relationships as well. i think when single people come without guests thats how they meet other people=]

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ITA

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Posted by AngnShaun
i invited everyone with a guest and 90% of the people that werent in a serious relationship at the time replied that they were coming alone...

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That's what happen to me. I just left the door open.

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Posted by quirkybride


Who are we to judge what a serious relation ship is or not. How do you pick and choose which of your friends relationships are valid enough to acknowledge and which aren't. I'm sorry but if people aren't really dating someone, odds are they will not bring anyone, just for the sake of bringing someone . The cost doesn't matter, it should be factored in when making your original guest list.

Apparently I am the only one who feel like this, but I have been seriously insulted in the past by this and swore then that wouldn't be like that when I got married.

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It's not judging and randomly making a call if a relationship is serious, it's more like being together for a number of months and being exclusive. I think that's a very reasonable call.
A couple shouldn't have to cut out family members or friends so that dates of single guests can be included. That's my opinion. You have your opinion too. No reason to be angry.

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ITA with this. That is how FH and I are judging it.

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Posted by Kerrys_Princess

I had quite a few people that I invited without dates. I explained it to them personally and privately before the invitations were even mailed. I also explained that if after I had all of my RSVP's back, if I was able to work a space in for a date, that I would let them know. Everyone appreciated my honesty and my efforts and I did not have anyone bring an uninvited guest.

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I like this idea.

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Posted by BlushandBashful

Yikes, sorry about that. I don't have any advice because we are inviting everyone with a +1. That was super important to me.

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This—the only questionables for me are like 1 or 2 20 yr old family friends, and like 2 20 year old cousins.

We've decided to invite all adults with guests. Pretty much I just put myself in the situation and how I would feel if at 28 years old I wasn't able to bring a date to a wedding, I would be kinda upset, so I just want everyone to feel comfortable.

I've never not been invited with a guest to a wedding. That's just my opinion though, if you can't afford it then it's a whole other story.

every adult invited to our wedding is being invited with a +1

HTH