The 'and guest' debate

Original post by KimberlyBride

Dec 06, 2004 09:16 AM

Are you inviting singles with guests? I have a few single friends that don't have a boyfriend and I was planning on inviting them without a guest so they don't feel like they have to find a date. Also I don't want to pay another x amount of dollars for someone I don't know. All these single people know each other so they would be hanging with each other. My Mom said I had to invite with guest. I said I am only inviting with a guest for people engaged or in a serious relationship. So what are your thoughts?

Kimberly

randella Posted: Dec 06, 2004 01:02 PM

Re: The 'and guest' debate

we are inviting some singles with guests and some without.. Here are the parameters for our singles:

- All wedding party with guests

- All of my friends with guests (I have lots of different groups of friends- so everyone doesn't know each other)

- All of FH's friends without a guest (they are a large group of friends and will have plenty of people to hang out with)

- Anyone who is single and over the age of let's say 35- is invited with a guest

lilacwine Posted: Dec 06, 2004 01:16 PM

Re: The 'and guest' debate

Posted by diamondgrlie

We have 'and guest' for all the guests except the older guests whose SO's have passed away.

I'm inviting all the older guests whose SO's have passed away (and 9/11 widows) 'with guest'. My mother expects those people to bring someone (perhaps one of their children) as their guest. If they had to travel alone (even for a 20 minute drive), they may not come.

It's my legions of second cousins in their mid-20s that I'm struggling with.

Borricuamorena0905 Posted: Dec 06, 2004 01:32 PM

Re: The 'and guest' debate

Same here.... don't have the money or space ...

ladybug78 Posted: Dec 06, 2004 04:36 PM

Re: The 'and guest' debate

I am only inviting my single friends with guests if they have been in a relationship over 6 months.

akaMrsT Posted: Dec 06, 2004 05:15 PM

Re: The 'and guest' debate

Posted by jenniesunshine

We decided that if our guest wasn't seeing anyone seriously, they would not be invited 'and guest.' We really want the wedding to be intimate (as much as that's possible with 125 guests), so the idea of having someone there who doesn't even know either of us doesn't sit well. Also, all of the people we're inviting know at least 5 people who are also on the guest list. So no one will be sitting by themself without anyone to talk to

I totally agree. We have 194 people on the list, 95% family. We are inviting peole w/o guests and know that they will know a ton of people already. All of my friends being invited already know each other for the most part (or at least they know a lot of my family members) so they will have people to talk to that day.

chachou22 Posted: Dec 06, 2004 05:27 PM

Re: The 'and guest' debate

Posted by DebsNY

I'm doing the same thing. Basically those who have been in a relationship for 6+ months are being invited with a date. And the bridal party.

I can't afford one for everyone.

Though, 6 months after graduation, i'm knocking people off left and right... so who knows

ditto

Dooodles Posted: Dec 06, 2004 06:14 PM

Re: The 'and guest' debate

Luckily for me I didn't have too many 'and guest' decisions to make. There were only a few cousins not in serious relationships and 1 friend. They were all invited with a guest. I could not have them sit alone when everyone else will be a couple. But we're talking about 6 people so it was not a big factor for us. One cousin who has been seeing someone regularly responded just for 1 and will come alone. But I let that be his decision.

jsb1ot Posted: Dec 06, 2004 06:44 PM

Re: The 'and guest' debate

I agree with you KimberlyBride. That's what I'm doing. I don't need to pay extra for somebody I don't know. Besides, I told that to our friends. I rather invite people that we do know.

February05 Posted: Dec 06, 2004 06:50 PM

Re: The 'and guest' debate

i totally agree, Kim!
we sent out our invites, and we only put 'and guest' for one of my friends thats coming up from VA and might not really know anyone.

there were a few people that we couldnt invite, so i dont want to have Strangers there when were holding back on some people that we DO know.

Russo'sbride Posted: Dec 06, 2004 09:16 PM

Re: The 'and guest' debate

We are inviting 'and guest' with most single guys and girls. I think it's nice to be able to bring a guest.

BriBri529 Posted: Dec 06, 2004 09:19 PM

Re: The 'and guest' debate

I am welcoming everyone to bring a date

KimberlyBride Posted: Dec 06, 2004 09:54 PM

Re: The 'and guest' debate

This is a tough one. Love reading everyone's point of view.

Jo Ann Posted: Dec 06, 2004 10:01 PM

Re: The 'and guest' debate

Everyone we invited with the execption of FH grandmother was invited with guest if they were single.
I am not the relationship police to decide who is in a serious relationship or who is dating 6mths one year whatever. If the person is important enough to be invited to my wedding then whoever their guest is, is more than welcome weither I know them or not.

I tell the story again but Fh was invited to a wedding in FL and none of the NY friends were invited with guests execpt 1 and there was probally close to 50 friends that were invited from NY. FSIL was also invited and told everyone that the reason why her brother didnt go was b/c I wasnt invited (which was not the complete truth) 6mts later FL couple calls and randomly says to me oh sorry you werent invited to the wedding but we were only inviting people in serious relationships. I just said oh that is ok b/c While you were all in FL getting loaded at your wedding We were here in NY busy getting engaged. I'm not really sure what time frame indicates a serious relationship but I would think 4yrs would fall under that catagory.

Who are you to decide who is serious and who isnt??? Sorry that is JMO and I really dont mean to offend anyone but it is just a sore subject with me I guess.