Are you inviting singles with guests? I have a few single friends that don't have a boyfriend and I was planning on inviting them without a guest so they don't feel like they have to find a date. Also I don't want to pay another x amount of dollars for someone I don't know. All these single people know each other so they would be hanging with each other. My Mom said I had to invite with guest. I said I am only inviting with a guest for people engaged or in a serious relationship. So what are your thoughts?
Kimberly
DebsNY
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
I'm doing the same thing. Basically those who have been in a relationship for 6+ months are being invited with a date. And the bridal party.
I can't afford one for everyone.
Though, 6 months after graduation, i'm knocking people off left and right... so who knows
hbradio
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
Of course I cant afford the $ for these people that are single either, BUT I believe the right thing to do is to put 'and guest' regardless. Just so they have the option just incase....
bluesashbride
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
i don't think you HAVE to invite them with a guest, but i kinda rebel against the whole HAVE to do anything! its your wedding...that said, as a single guest i always liked having option to have a guest, but never felt it was expected of me to bring one if the invite said 'and guest.' so if you can afford it, i would add guests to single folks.
LadyPrincess
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
kim - i love the title on the thread I was going through this just this w/e
Not everyone was '& guest' - just the ones we know very well then I list '& guest' if the relationship is over 1 year
DebMaher
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
I think it is more than reasonable (if $ are not the issue) to limit 'and guest' to serious relationships -- either living together, engaged, married, or similar. If $$ is tight, leave off. I do agree people will enjoy more with the guest of their choosing but it should not be the item to destroy the entire budget.
o17range
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
For me, money is not the issue, its space. Althought I would LOVE to have the 'and guest' option, we are already pushing my comfort level with our single guests being single (we already have the dreaded 'B' list because of this.) For us to have some of our friends bring a date we'd be too big for our britches. I'd rather have more 'single' friends than not extend the invitation at all! Because of this, I am limiting the 'and guest' option only to those in our bridal party and those in long term relationships.
eogara
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
Only 2 people are getting '& guest' on their invitations - my 33 year old brother and FH's friend who doesn't have a girlfriend but doesn't know anyone else at the wedding besides FH.
If I have a name, it's going on the invitation because even those that are in relationships might not be in that relationship later. I dont' want to leave the option open for them to then just pick someone at random. These two people are invited. If one cannot make it, then only one comes.
azoodie
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
i'm still debating this one....i'll let you know when we come to a final decision
BlondeJD
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
We decided that if our guest wasn't seeing anyone seriously, they would not be invited 'and guest.' We really want the wedding to be intimate (as much as that's possible with 125 guests), so the idea of having someone there who doesn't even know either of us doesn't sit well. Also, all of the people we're inviting know at least 5 people who are also on the guest list. So no one will be sitting by themself without anyone to talk to
KimberlyBride
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
Very cool. I am glad most of us feel the same way. I feel better now. Thanks ladies
AJsMommy122
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
I did the same thing. Anyone of my friends who I knew was not in a serious relationship were not invited with a guest. All my friends know each other though and will all be sitting at the same table so no one will be lonely.
becks23
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
Most of our friends happen to be in serious long term relationships, so we will obviously be inviting their significant others. Luckily, the handful of single people we are inviting all know each other, so if we don't end up inviting them with a guest (which we probably won't) they will be fine bc they all know each other and will be at the same table...
DMcK
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
Posted by hbradio
Of course I cant afford the $ for these people that are single either, BUT I believe the right thing to do is to put 'and guest' regardless. Just so they have the option just incase....
This is how FH and I have decided to handle it as well
Darcy
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
I agree. None of this random date thing.
Katherine121
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
Posted by Darcy
I agree. None of this random date thing.
I'd LOVE to be able to afford everybody. But I agree with the above: I don't have $X to pay for 10 to 20 people I don't know. If the person is engaged or in a serious relationship, then they get 'and guest.' If a single person on my 'A' list doesn't like the fact that they were not invited with 'and guest,' and declines to attend because of it, there's nothing I can do about it except to mentally thank them for making room for my B list people.
GoingNutty
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
We will probably be inviting anyone over 18 with a guest. I don't think that people who aren't dating anyone seriously feel the need to find a date, but I think a lot of people like to have one there. Etiquette wise, I think it's the right thing to do.
On a personal note, I was once invited to a wedding without a guest, along with two friends. In the entire room, we were the only three people without a date and it was very uncomfortable. We didn't know too many of the people other than the bride and groom and the wedding really wasn't much fun.
Also, friends of ours who got married recently decided not to invite our friends (and even bridesmaids!!) with a guest... They didn't tell anyone beforehand and a lot of people were confused when the got the invitation (there also was no writing on the inside envelope where it usually says 'and guest'). A few of them were a little annoyed, because even though they knew each other they felt like they weren't given the option to bring a date if they wanted to.
If you do decide to invite people without guests, it may be a good idea to tell them ahead of time to alleviate any confusion or problems when they get the invitation. I think that chances are most of them won't bring anyone anyway, but it's nice to give them the option if they want to, especially if it is someone close to you.
JMO
lillian771
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
I always reply the same way to these questions so please take no offense! I really feel strongly that any guest over the age of 21 should be invited with a guest or should not be invited at all. People really do appreciate the option of choosing whether or not they will bring a guest to a formal affair and it is proper etiquette to give them that option.
alibali
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Re: The 'and guest' debate
we're pretty much inviting everyone & guest but we know a bunch of people won't even look for a date. theres a big group of single friends that have no problem coming dateless but we just feel its the 'nice' thing to do and invite them with a guest, just in case they really do want to bring someone.
