the art of an apology.

FH and I are involved in an ongoing spat about an issue that keeps coming up. i am not going fully into it, but it comes down to this:

he always thinks that when i say i am hurt, and i say you really should apologise, that my feelings are overreacting and that he doesnt have to apologise. for the record i do not request an apology in every argument we have. but it just makes me more hurt that he thinks my feelings arent worthy enough of an apology. so it just turns into a big thing.

this leads me to think- what is the art of an apology? and why is it so hard for men to apologise?

In general, people think apologizing is admitting they are wrong and a sign of weakness.

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Posted by sr081906

In general, people think apologizing is admitting they are wrong and a sign of weakness.

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I tend to agree with you there. If I say I'm sorry, forgive me, I have done something wrong.....although, hurting someone's feelings is 'wronging' them...so I suppose it's justified. Often I'll apologize to FH just to show that I can be the bigger person (because he won't apologize either) and then he starts apologizing as well.

Next time you have a 'spat' try saying later/at the end of it...'I'm sorry that we argued about that, but I guess we just see it differently.' You haven't apologized for being WRONG, just for the argument having taken place. That is what I do....works like a charm.

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Posted by vixchik

Next time you have a 'spat' try saying later/at the end of it...'I'm sorry that we argued about that, but I guess we just see it differently.' You haven't apologized for being WRONG, just for the argument having taken place. That is what I do....works like a charm.

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I do this sometimes as well. I'm the one out of the two of us who doesn't apologize very often...but I'm learning!