The Bachelor Party

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Posted by Janice

DH's friends had a great time at his, DH did not attend..I felt like it would get out of hand, DH suggested he not go, I did not push him out the door that is for sure...I don't think it is about trusting or not trusting. Her FH has never been to his own bachalor party, it is new territory..and brides have enough stress going through their heads already

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Well my point is why is it so stressful? It's a party. MY thinkign is if it's causing you that much stress over a party, then something bigger is going on in your head.

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Posted by CubanBride

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Posted by Janice

DH's friends had a great time at his, DH did not attend..I felt like it would get out of hand, DH suggested he not go, I did not push him out the door that is for sure...I don't think it is about trusting or not trusting. Her FH has never been to his own bachalor party, it is new territory..and brides have enough stress going through their heads already

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Well my point is why is it so stressful? It's a party. MY thinkign is if it's causing you that much stress over a party, then something bigger is going on in your head.

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I mean stress over the wedding...I had such inlaw/BP/head count stress the last 2 weeks before my wedding, that DH going out on a free for all was the last thing I needed. I think when a bride has problems and stress caused by strippers that is a normal emotion. It surprises me the number of brides who are carefree with the stripper situation, I think something bigger is going on in their heads

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Posted by Janice
I mean stress over the wedding...I had such inlaw/BP/head count stress the last 2 weeks before my wedding, that DH going out on a free for all was the last thing I needed. I think when a bride has problems and stress caused by strippers that is a normal emotion. It surprises me the number of brides who are carefree with the stripper situation, I think something bigger is going on in their heads

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You think that brides who have no problem with strippers are what...lying to ourselves or something?

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Posted by CubanBride

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Posted by Janice
I mean stress over the wedding...I had such inlaw/BP/head count stress the last 2 weeks before my wedding, that DH going out on a free for all was the last thing I needed. I think when a bride has problems and stress caused by strippers that is a normal emotion. It surprises me the number of brides who are carefree with the stripper situation, I think something bigger is going on in their heads

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You think that brides who have no problem with strippers are what...lying to ourselves or something?

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I was in a BP once, and the bride arranged for the stripper to surprise her FH in the hotel room where the party we taking place..sorry I think that nudity and grinding came to an end when you put the ring on my finger

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Posted by Janice

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Posted by CubanBride
You think that brides who have no problem with strippers are what...lying to ourselves or something?

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I was in a BP once, and the bride arranged for the stripper to surprise her FH in the hotel room where the party we taking place..sorry I think that nudity and grinding came to an end when you put the ring on my finger

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So does that mean no porn (movies or magazines) either?

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Posted by CubanBride

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Posted by Janice

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Posted by CubanBride
You think that brides who have no problem with strippers are what...lying to ourselves or something?

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I was in a BP once, and the bride arranged for the stripper to surprise her FH in the hotel room where the party we taking place..sorry I think that nudity and grinding came to an end when you put the ring on my finger

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So does that mean no porn (movies or magazines) either?

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that is fine in moderation

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Posted by Janice

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Posted by CubanBride
So does that mean no porn (movies or magazines) either?

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that is fine in moderation

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Ok, so a lap dance is not ok, but porn is okay?
Even though porn is a lot more that a stripper taking off her top?

Are you more concerned with FH touching the stripper, rather than watching?

Sorry I am asking so many questions. I am just trying to understand what your limitations are. I'm not busting your chops or anything.

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Posted by CubanBride

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Posted by Janice

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Posted by CubanBride
So does that mean no porn (movies or magazines) either?

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that is fine in moderation

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Ok, so a lap dance is not ok, but porn is okay?
Even though porn is a lot more that a stripper taking off her top?

Are you more concerned with FH touching the stripper, rather than watching?

Sorry I am asking so many questions. I am just trying to understand what your limitations are. I'm not busting your chops or anything.

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If my DH wants to watch porn he can. If he wants to read magazines, he can..do I need a real life person griding on him, no i don't need that, do I want our money going to them no..if a co worker was to run around topless and give dh a dance, I would have a problem with that, I see no diff between co worker or stripper

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Posted by Janice
If my DH wants to watch porn he can. If he wants to read magazines, he can..do I need a real life person griding on him, no i don't need that, do I want our money going to them no..if a co worker was to run around topless and give dh a dance, I would have a problem with that, I see no diff between co worker or stripper

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Ok, I see. You are differentiating between a live person and a virtual person.

I do not see why one is better than the other. Hoever, those are your rules and I will respect them with no further comment.

Well, my FH is a complete gear head and they have talkd about going and doing a driving school for his party and then to the casinos in CT. OUr BM is my FBIL and we are all very close so I don't think there will be anything nasty going on, but then again you never know!

Last summer all of the guys went to Las Vegas for another guy's party, but what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas and I never heard about anything, but I trust my FH... you'd have to to get married to the guy! lol

But y'all are right.... it's the friends that we have to worry about

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Posted by AnniesSS

But y'all are right.... it's the friends that we have to worry about

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Sometimes i think the Bachlor parties are more for the friends than the Bachelor.

Another couple (in our group of friends) is getting married about a month before us. All the guys think this is great, because they can have a double bachelor party. The funny thing is, they want to do it this August in Vegas. The weddings aren't until the summer of 06!!! lol..

Anyway.. my FH says he doesnt want to go.. and I don't want him to miss out on the moment...I'm not afraid that he will do something stupid, and yes, his friends are lunatics so I probably should worry. But I think it's something he should do, it's sort of a rite of passage. But... that rite does not include getting it on with a stripper

His real reason for not wanting to go is he doesn't want ME to have a crazy bachelorette party!! lol...He's afraid with MY friends, what they will plan for me. I thought that was really cute. So i'm trying to convince him that we have to have our big last hurrah.... and that it will be fun

Honestly....you need to make the decision to trust him and his judgement. I know you say you trust him, but your post reads as otherwise. Make that decision to trust him and stick to it because if you don't, you will drive yourself crazy. You can't hold his hand and make him do the right thing, but have a little faith in the guy you're marrying. He could have the most vile, evil friends and if he's a good person, that still shouldn't make a difference. It will be fine

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Posted by Goldi1021

I think if you forbid or place limits on a man that early on, you are headed for a big surprise. Children need limits. Not adults. Its like saying leave your ba**s at the door. At my age and his age, I don't have to watch every step he takes. He is a grown up.

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Relationships have rules. It's give and take.

your first 2 sentences are TOTALLY INCONGRUENT: I am really worried about my fiance's bachelor party. I COMPLETELY trust my fiance but...'

There is no but!!! If you trust your fiance-end the sentence there. Unless your fiance is a complete invalid and can't walk away from something or lacks the capacity to do the right thing, you have nothing to worry about. Forgive me for being so blunt but I think it's a cop out to say 'I'm so worried that they will pour alcohol down his throat to the point where he has no idea what is going on.' Come on now-you either trust him or you don't. End of story. I would never spend one single second angsting over what will happen at my fiance's bachelor party. I trust him implicitly-he's a grown man and isn't going to betray me. He's not even into that whole sophomoric thing anyway. Sure he will go out with his freinds and have far too mnay beers and even if one of his old married friends decides to 'whoop it up' by getting a stripper, who cares? You shouldn't get to this point of planning a LIFETIME with somebody and then worry about immature stuff like a bachelor party! I'm sorry for being brutally honest; I just wanted you to realize how silly worrying about such a thing is. JMO.

Dale had a bachelor party. I don't want to know what happend. But his shirt smelled of perfume and I found a single in his shirt pocket. Everything was in the wash too. And if you know my husband, nothing ever makes it to the hamper.

And of course all the money was spent on drinks.... Sureeeeeeeeeeeee.....