Ok well not the catholic church itself but the b*tchy receptionist that works at mine. I had to call and ask them for a letter of good standing so that I can be a godmother to my cousins baby... the receptionist took it upon herself to tell me that I was not in good standing and I was not a good catholic because as per their records I have not made any donations since 2006. Where in the bible does it say in order to be a good catholic I need to donate money? Regardless she said alot of other things and actually raised her voice at me. One of the things she said was that if she were in charge she would never let us get married there. I think she was having a bad day huh? I do plan on calling the Diocese and speaking to someone about this.
Regardless... todays phone call coupled with Satrudays precana.. and also a lot of other things that happen with my family.. has made both FH and I decide we no longer want to get married in the catholic church.
I am currently looking into other churches and religions. FH was baptised episcopalian so we are looking into that. We had a really really long talk about it last night and we both decided we do not want to raise our kids catholic but we do want them to have religion in their lives..
UGH
so much stress lately
oh and I have a new username.. I dont want to even get into that one!
MrsInglima
Posted:
Member since
Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..
DH and I were both raised Catholics and did not want to be married in a Catholic Church because we hate their narrow mindedness. We converted to the Episcopal Church and it was the best decision we ever made. They are really similar to the Catholic Church with their traditions and the way the mass is set up, just more liberal and open. Granted, each priest is different, but we've found it to be a lot more in line with our political and personal beliefs. I would call around at a lot of places and settle when you find a priest you like instead of just saying, 'hey, this place is an Episcopal church, let's go here.' You'll definitely find the right church that way.
Oh, and before we settled on the Episcopal church I read a lot of info this website: http://www.religioustolerance.org/ to try to find the right form of Christianity for us (as far as the liberal/political beliefs we have). It really helped a lot.
ETA. As I'm going through and reading more posts it makes me so angry to hear about all of the stories. My mom flipped out when we said we didn't want to get married in a church, she tried to throw the godparents thing at us saying the church would see us as unfit. She also said our marriage would be a sham. And then she tried to get DH to get his confirmation (against our wishes) and the priest she always spoke so highly of couldn't be bothered to call us for 3 months (past when we could have gotten his confirmation). Then my dad gets the bulletin this week at their church and they actually printed up their fiscal budget showing everyone how much money they have asking for them to donate even more out of their pockets every month. They have enough money to survive and they're upset because they only have a few K extra to spend on things like getting new stuff for the church and the rectory. !?!?! To top it all of the letter to the parish that week was all about dying, going to hell, and how it's their Christian duty to give money to get a place in heaven. What are we, in the middle ages?
Our church didn't even ask for a donation, they just asked we pay the maintenance guy which was like $100. My mom just gave the church money because she wanted to.
Caramelatta
Posted:
Member since
Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..
I'm so sorry you are going through this.... 'The catholic religion will soon die out' this is what my priest told me....i was sorta puzzled that he said that...but now i understand why.... I honestly believe that as well....WHY CAN'T GOOD JUST BE A RELIGION...doesn't that count...if you are good at heart, i dont think that should be a problem...and why should one have to donate money to church? ANY WAY i'm sorry you went through this...I tottally understand where you are coming from and i would do the same...i would probably get married at the reception hall as well..... GOOD LUCK
elysemichelle
Posted:
Member since
Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..
wow Jenn! I dont know much about the catholic church as im jewish, but thats so wrong!!!!!
In the jewish religion there is NO donating of money unless you want to do it in honor of someone who passed away.The only time you need to give money for anything is for the high holidays (which is normally less than 100 dollars total!) FH was brought up catholic. he doesnt ever go to church, but his mom donates money to her greek orthodox church (whichFH doesnt go to). His priest wont do our weddin g, but his mothers will. Also, my rabbi wont do our wedding cuz FH is not jewish. So i got another rabbi who will do our wedding, and we may use his moms priest as well.Its been a long tough road, so i know what ur going through.
JennyAPH
Posted:
Member since
Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..
Posted by MrsInglima
DH and I were both raised Catholics and did not want to be married in a Catholic Church because we hate their narrow mindedness. We converted to the Episcopal Church and it was the best decision we ever made. They are really similar to the Catholic Church with their traditions and the way the mass is set up, just more liberal and open. Granted, each priest is different, but we've found it to be a lot more in line with our political and personal beliefs. I would call around at a lot of places and settle when you find a priest you like instead of just saying, 'hey, this place is an Episcopal church, let's go here.' You'll definitely find the right church that way.
Oh, and before we settled on the Episcopal church I read a lot of info this website: http://www.religioustolerance.org/ to try to find the right form of Christianity for us (as far as the liberal/political beliefs we have). It really helped a lot.
ETA. As I'm going through and reading more posts it makes me so angry to hear about all of the stories. My mom flipped out when we said we didn't want to get married in a church, she tried to throw the godparents thing at us saying the church would see us as unfit. She also said our marriage would be a sham. And then she tried to get DH to get his confirmation (against our wishes) and the priest she always spoke so highly of couldn't be bothered to call us for 3 months (past when we could have gotten his confirmation). Then my dad gets the bulletin this week at their church and they actually printed up their fiscal budget showing everyone how much money they have asking for them to donate even more out of their pockets every month. They have enough money to survive and they're upset because they only have a few K extra to spend on things like getting new stuff for the church and the rectory. !?!?! To top it all of the letter to the parish that week was all about dying, going to hell, and how it's their Christian duty to give money to get a place in heaven. What are we, in the middle ages?
Our church didn't even ask for a donation, they just asked we pay the maintenance guy which was like $100. My mom just gave the church money because she wanted to.
I just contacted an epsicopal church in our area and asked to speak to someone on becoming a member etc and possibly getting married. I dont know how long you have to be a member before being able to though. We are really excited about this. We both believe religion is important and want a religion to teach to our kids but we both agree we dont want that religion to be catholic.. i dont meant to offend ayone that is catholic at all, we have just been so turned off by the catholic church lately so this is hopefully going to be the best decision we made also
also in response to everyone else.. I did save the VM and I do intend to speak to soemone. I am waiting until I have that letter in my hands first. Also I dont know why I needed this letter.. the church my cousin is having her baby baptized at asked that I have a letter stating I am in good standing with the catholic church. I dunno its annoying!
MrsCastanedain09
Posted:
Member since
Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..
Posted by DonnaPWhite1124
Join the club. I posted a few weeks ago about the rectory secretary being mean to me and telling me 'whats my rush'
Whats with all these secretaries in the churches NOT being nice?
Those secretaries haven't been la*d in years!
Some nerve. I'm Catholic and very happy to be getting married at my parish....but I hear LOTS about people having a hard time at other churches and it infuriates me. So unecessary.
DonnaPWhite1124
Posted:
Member since
Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..
Posted by MrsCastanedain09
Posted by DonnaPWhite1124
Join the club. I posted a few weeks ago about the rectory secretary being mean to me and telling me 'whats my rush'
Whats with all these secretaries in the churches NOT being nice?
Those secretaries haven't been la*d in years!
Some nerve. I'm Catholic and very happy to be getting married at my parish....but I hear LOTS about people having a hard time at other churches and it infuriates me. So unecessary.
Yes a majority of them are not very nice. I'm sure they deal with a lot of brides that want their weddings booked right away and might be a little bit bridezilla-y, but still....a little patience goes a lonnngg way.
FH calls the catholic church a bunch of extortionists.
JennyAPH
Posted:
Member since
Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..
I just got a call back from my local episcopalian church and the woman was SO nice and so understanding. I told her that right now our main concern was finding a church and a religion we feel comfortable with and she was so sweet. She even said she would send us a marriage application to fill out incase we decide we want to get married there.
Novia09
Posted:
Member since
Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..
One of the MANY reasons why I veered away from the Catholic church.. I attend the Episcopalian church. You should check out St. Marks in Islip.. The only reason we're not getting married there is because of the gap we'd have on the day of the wedding, but Rev. Richard is the BEST..
Just a briefing of my background with the Catholic church. I was born and raised catholic. Baptised, communion, confirmation, everything. I was married in the Catholic Church the first time, and one night after my ex husband nearly beat me to death, I grabbed a diaperbag, put formula and diapers in it and left with my baby... I went to the church, who INFORMED ME.. that when you marry catholic it's for better or worse, and even though this is part of the 'worst' I HAVE to deal with it.. EXCUSE ME?? Then they asked 'What did you do to him to make him so angry?' ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!
needless to say that was the last time I set foot in a catholic church..
epugy
Posted:
Member since
Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..
I also had a hard time with my catholic church, I had to switch churches, I went to another catholic church that was great; OLPH Lindy. The reason I left was b/c of the receptionist but mostly the preist. PLEASE do not let these people affect your faith. There is a reason you want to get married in a church, and that is b/c of God, not a receptionist that gets in the way. You make sure you tell her that and keep true to what your FH and you believe.
JennyAPH
Posted:
Member since
Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..
Posted by epugy
I also had a hard time with my catholic church, I had to switch churches, I went to another catholic church that was great; OLPH Lindy. The reason I left was b/c of the receptionist but mostly the preist. PLEASE do not let these people affect your faith. There is a reason you want to get married in a church, and that is b/c of God, not a receptionist that gets in the way. You make sure you tell her that and keep true to what your FH and you believe.
I never wanted to get married in the catholic church from the beginning.. I just did it for FMIL.. now I am really thinking of not doing it.
