Brides Helping Brides ™ - The Catholic Church made me cry.. – Page 2

JennyAPH · 2009-02-23T13:08:54-05:00

Ok well not the catholic church itself but the b*tchy receptionist that works at mine. I had to call and ask them for a letter of good standing so that I can be a godmother to my cousins baby... the receptionist took it upon herself to tell me that I was not in good standing and I was not a good catholic because as per their records I have not made any donations since 2006. Where in the bible does it say in order to be a good catholic I need to donate money? Regardless she said alot of other things and actually raised her voice at me. One of the things she said was that if she were in charge she would never let us get married there. I think she was having a bad day huh? I do plan on calling the Diocese and speaking to someone about this. Regardless... todays phone call coupled with Satrudays precana.. and also a lot of other things that happen with my family.. has made both FH and I decide we no longer want to get married in the catholic church. I am currently looking into other churches and religions. FH was baptised episcopalian so we are looking into that. We had a really really long talk about it last night and we both decided we do not want to raise our kids catholic but we do want them to have religion in their lives.. UGH so much stress lately oh and I have a new username.. I dont want to even get into that one!

Celeste617 Posted: Feb 23, 2009 02:52 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

HOW RUDE!!! Sorry that you had to deal with that I think it is highly unfair that you should have to be making donations to be in good standing!! That is completely ridiculous in my book.

FH & I are not religious people. I was baptized Catholic and he had his communion, but we never followed the church. We purposely didn't go for pre-cana since we felt like it would be a lie for us. Plus, there are some very close people to me that are gay and being that they are not welcome in a Catholic church, that made my decision even more clear. Here's my opinion on it

chicky724 Posted: Feb 23, 2009 02:56 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

OMG the same thing happened to me when I tried to do that! They didn't have me registered as a parishioner there bc I hadn't donated any money.

Luckily I found out a few months ago when I tried to get the papers to be a godmother, bc otherwise they might not have let us get married there! (Only parishioners can get married on Fridays there.)

KimiDanny1010 Posted: Feb 23, 2009 03:12 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

things like this reall tick me off and its why i refused a church wedding... its all about money with them...

same here !!!

KerriJohnS Posted: Feb 23, 2009 03:16 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

WOW that's really sad. You should call the Msr at the church and speak to him about his receptionist. No one shuold be speaking to anyone like that... especially when it was totally uncalled for. YOU HAVE TO CALL AND COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS WOMAN. All to often people are treated this way and it goes unnoticed because no one speaks up or says anything.

I'd like to see the last time that nasty receptionist donated money... even to her own church that she works at. Not only that... but being a good christian also has to do with how you treat others...and clearly her actions are questionable. And you are right it doesn't say anywhere that it's mandatory to donate. Not only that but sometimes people donate in other manners, not just monetary. I've donated food and clothes to the church because they do a lot of work with the homeless (at least a FH church - his mother and father run a lot of things over there including the soup kitchen).

I'm sorry about all that. I know that a lot of churches are in trouble... major trouble. THey aren't receiving the donations they need to stay open in some cases. I don't know if that's where it's coming from... but regardless that isn't how she should be treating ANYONE.

So you went through pre cana and everything?
I'm sorry.

JennyAPH Posted: Feb 23, 2009 03:17 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

things like this reall tick me off and its why i refused a church wedding... its all about money with them...

I don't want to have one now but I dont know if I can get married at my RH.. also FMIL would probably cry if it wasn't in a church. I don't think she would care if it wasn't in a catholic church though.. I am going to really have to look around.. I dont have THAT much time to be making these changes. I just really dont want to give this church $750 after the way I have been treated.

Also they called back and left me a vm... she said (in a very snotty tone) 'We have decided to send you a letter saying you are in good standing.. ONLY because we feel very sorry for you'.... SORRY FOR ME?? Why?! This woman is clearly insane.

KerriJohnS Posted: Feb 23, 2009 03:18 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

Posted by 9509Bride

'One of the things she said was that if she were in charge she would never let us get married there. '

Ok WOOOOOOW! Way harsh...gesh. who does she think she is?

Yea really! maybe she should know where she would be if we were in charge?!?!??!?!!

JennyAPH Posted: Feb 23, 2009 03:21 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

Posted by KerriJohnS

Posted by 9509Bride

'One of the things she said was that if she were in charge she would never let us get married there. '

Ok WOOOOOOW! Way harsh...gesh. who does she think she is?

Yea really! maybe she should know where she would be if we were in charge?!?!??!?!!

Yeah I called my aunt crying cause I thought I had to tell my cousin I couldnt be her daughters god mother.. My aunt and my mom are about ready to march up there and let this person have a peice of their mind. My mother has had a few bad experiences with some church personnel and she has put them right in their place I would love to see it.. However, I told them to please at least wait until I get the letter.. after all I do have to get married there and the lady is alreayd making it ridiculously hard for me to make appointments etc.

VeggieBride Posted: Feb 23, 2009 03:22 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

Posted by JennyAPH

Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

things like this reall tick me off and its why i refused a church wedding... its all about money with them...

Also they called back and left me a vm... she said (in a very snotty tone) 'We have decided to send you a letter saying you are in good standing.. ONLY because we feel very sorry for you'.... SORRY FOR ME?? Why?! This woman is clearly insane.

WHAAAAAAAA WHAAAAA WHAAAAAAAT?????

oh my god. this makes me so mad!!!!

what church is this if you dont mind me asking? you can fm it to me if you want

JennyAPH Posted: Feb 23, 2009 03:25 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

Posted by VeggieBride

Posted by JennyAPH

Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

things like this reall tick me off and its why i refused a church wedding... its all about money with them...

Also they called back and left me a vm... she said (in a very snotty tone) 'We have decided to send you a letter saying you are in good standing.. ONLY because we feel very sorry for you'.... SORRY FOR ME?? Why?! This woman is clearly insane.

WHAAAAAAAA WHAAAAA WHAAAAAAAT?????

oh my god. this makes me so mad!!!!

what church is this if you dont mind me asking? you can fm it to me if you want

You have FM

I also saved the VM so when I do talk to someone about this woman I have some sort of evidence if need be. I will bet though that it wont be the first complaint they get about her..

flairforfashion Posted: Feb 23, 2009 03:26 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

OMG I am so sorry you had such an awful experience. The church should never treat anyone this way. How appalling!

My Parish is fantastic- with them, it's not about money and the entire staff is pretty awesome. So, don't give up on the catholic church completely because there are some good parishes out there.

PoppedInASnap Posted: Feb 23, 2009 03:30 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

First let me say this...

Im a catholic school teacher

My fh is working for the diocese

and my ffil is an ex priest...

And let me tell you

Just because someone says they are catholic DOES NOT mean they are a christian...

They have belittled me beyond since I first started planning my wedding because I havnt made my confirmation...

And my reasonings were because my father almost died before the first time and my grandfather died before my second time....

You would think as CHRISTIANS they would be understanding..

INSTEAD

they made me feel as though I was the DEVIL and I therefore didnt know what to teach as a christian....

They also made it clear that if my fiance and I got married outside the church we would both be fired.

So i completely.... FROM AN INSIDERS POINT OF VIEW think t hey need to learn how to be christians...

FH and I have considered becomming lutheran because his cousins have all changed and so have some of my friends and they are so much happier... they are not forced to donate large sums of money to be 'christian' either

Sorry about the long rant...just wanted you to know...I understand

PoppedInASnap Posted: Feb 23, 2009 03:31 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

First let me say this...

Im a catholic school teacher

My fh is working for the diocese

and my ffil is an ex priest...

And let me tell you

Just because someone says they are catholic DOES NOT mean they are a christian...

They have belittled me beyond since I first started planning my wedding because I havnt made my confirmation...

And my reasonings were because my father almost died before the first time and my grandfather died before my second time....

You would think as CHRISTIANS they would be understanding..

INSTEAD

they made me feel as though I was the DEVIL and I therefore didnt know what to teach as a christian....

They also made it clear that if my fiance and I got married outside the church we would both be fired.

So i completely.... FROM AN INSIDERS POINT OF VIEW think t hey need to learn how to be christians...

FH and I have considered becomming lutheran because his cousins have all changed and so have some of my friends and they are so much happier... they are not forced to donate large sums of money to be 'christian' either

Sorry about the long rant...just wanted you to know...I understand

gina409 Posted: Feb 23, 2009 03:39 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

Posted by flairforfashion

OMG I am so sorry you had such an awful experience. The church should never treat anyone this way. How appalling!

My Parish is fantastic- with them, it's not about money and the entire staff is pretty awesome. So, don't give up on the catholic church completely because there are some good parishes out there.

i have to agree...while i am totally on ur side with this woman..and i totally think u should go right in and ask to speak with a priest and tell them what happened and let them listen to the voicemail..noone should be treated the way u do,its not all churches..i have had no problems ever with my parish or fh's parish since we have been kids....im so sorry this happened to u and i hope it all works out either way

JamDancer Posted: Feb 23, 2009 03:52 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

Posted by VeggieBride

Posted by JennyAPH

Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

things like this reall tick me off and its why i refused a church wedding... its all about money with them...

Also they called back and left me a vm... she said (in a very snotty tone) 'We have decided to send you a letter saying you are in good standing.. ONLY because we feel very sorry for you'.... SORRY FOR ME?? Why?! This woman is clearly insane.

WHAAAAAAAA WHAAAAA WHAAAAAAAT?????

oh my god. this makes me so mad!!!!

what church is this if you dont mind me asking? you can fm it to me if you want

whattt??? why do they feel sorry for you? Bc you are a bad catholic and going to hell for not donating?

My FH is catholic and is very defensive about his religion, trust me we have had our issues bc of it because I have my own opinions on the church. I am Episcopalian but we are getting married in a Catholic church bc it meant a lot more to him. However, our church and our priest are great and I couldn't be happier. I have heard excellent things about the precana we are going to as well.

littlepixie12 Posted: Feb 23, 2009 04:02 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

Posted by JennyAPH

Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

things like this reall tick me off and its why i refused a church wedding... its all about money with them...

I don't want to have one now but I dont know if I can get married at my RH.. also FMIL would probably cry if it wasn't in a church. I don't think she would care if it wasn't in a catholic church though.. I am going to really have to look around.. I dont have THAT much time to be making these changes. I just really dont want to give this church $750 after the way I have been treated.

Also they called back and left me a vm... she said (in a very snotty tone) 'We have decided to send you a letter saying you are in good standing.. ONLY because we feel very sorry for you'.... SORRY FOR ME?? Why?! This woman is clearly insane.

I would save that vm and let the msgr hear it and say this is how your church practices the word and teachings of Jesus? Because its not very christian in my opinion.. also just ebcause you dont give cheks doesnt mean you couldnt have contributed... you could just throw cash in the basket and thats it.. they cant fight you on that logic

KerriJohnS Posted: Feb 23, 2009 04:15 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

Posted by littlepixie12

Posted by JennyAPH

Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

things like this reall tick me off and its why i refused a church wedding... its all about money with them...

I don't want to have one now but I dont know if I can get married at my RH.. also FMIL would probably cry if it wasn't in a church. I don't think she would care if it wasn't in a catholic church though.. I am going to really have to look around.. I dont have THAT much time to be making these changes. I just really dont want to give this church $750 after the way I have been treated.

Also they called back and left me a vm... she said (in a very snotty tone) 'We have decided to send you a letter saying you are in good standing.. ONLY because we feel very sorry for you'.... SORRY FOR ME?? Why?! This woman is clearly insane.

I would save that vm and let the msgr hear it and say this is how your church practices the word and teachings of Jesus? Because its not very christian in my opinion.. also just ebcause you dont give cheks doesnt mean you couldnt have contributed... you could just throw cash in the basket and thats it.. they cant fight you on that logic

ITA! You really should do that!

Also, I think it all depends on the church unfortunately. FH Father is a deacon and he is marrying us... so that part has been pleasant.
We aren't getting married at his church though... it will be at my parish from where I was a little girl. Whenever I call them with questions (like can I have an aisle runner and how long is the aisle, can I throw anything after the ceremony, how much is it?)... just an general question... they have NO ANSWER for me at all! They seem to know nothing and you would think I was the first one to get married there ever! SO they are very very nice but soooo not helpful in the least bit. And the crap we went through because they coudln't figure out if we were in the book or not. We called and they scheduled us in... then we called to verify and we werent in it. Then we were. Then I went to the office to see it for myself and I saw we were scheduled in, then months later they say we aren't in the book and literally we called back and we were there. They seem to be completely incapable of keeping their sh*t straight!

Deeglasser Posted: Feb 23, 2009 05:29 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

Posted by VeggieBride

This is why I feel the way I do about religion. Unfortunately we are getting married in a church because FH's family thinks its important. No problems as of yet but between the pre-cana and 'suggested donation' (more like mandatory), paying off altar boys, etc its gonna cost us over $1000 for something I don;t even care about. And this just makes me more mad.

Ditto. We are getting married in the church for the same reason. that's AWFUL. we had problems with our parish also.... ended up choosing another parish out east closer to the RH. i would be fuming if i were you!!!!! i'm sure it took a lot out of you to keep your composure... also, i'm a godparent and didn't need proof of anything... that's bizarre to me. ALSO, being a godparent does NOT mean that you have to practice the same religion as the child being baptized/family. it means that you agree to bring the child up roman catholic if something should happen to the parents because that is their wish and that is their religion. for example, FH's bff is not catholic (he's jewish) and if he chose to him as the godparent the fact that he is not roman catholic wouldn't matter-he is taking an oath to raise our child catholic in the event that something should happen to one of us- making sure that our child receives all sacraments etc.

MrsDtoBe09 Posted: Feb 23, 2009 05:41 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

What a nasty b itch! Some one like that has got some hell of a nerve to call herself a religious person.

mlcvln129 Posted: Feb 23, 2009 09:44 PM

Re: The Catholic Church made me cry..

Honestly, I would be half tempted to call up the Diocese. Seriously, this woman has NO RIGHT to treat you this way, and I get the impression that involving the priest or msgr. may get you NOWHERE if this woman still has a job.

And they wonder why I'm a non-practicing Catholic marrying a Jewish man. . .