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The 'no' responders on rsvp's.... What's the deal?

Original post by nylibride

Ok, now I recognize that I have moments of being a *BIT* more emotional than is normal for me in random spurts as the wedding gets closer. We have just started to get our responses back in teh past 2 days, which is very exciting. So far, only 2 'No's'. HOWEVER...I think I'm being overly sensitive, but when you know people really well (say, a cousin for example) who only check NO, and don't write a note or call or explain at all, I find myself a little hurt. I'm big on notes, emails, etc..I would never just check no and not explain....
Is this bride brain?

Somebody admit they had this thought at least once and make me feel better:P
naps627 Posted:

Re: The 'no' responders on rsvp's.... What's the deal?

when i respond no i don't write anything but i put the no and the wedding gift in a wedding card and mail that the same day.

ckgmwedding Posted:

Re: The 'no' responders on rsvp's.... What's the deal?

I hate that! One of my mom's friends did that and she went to ALL her kids weddings. She had some lame excuse too so my mom was really hurt.

I ended up running into her and gave a total guilt trip about not coming or telling me why on the card, in a teasing way. My mom was thrilled!
PinkSoil Posted:

Re: The 'no' responders on rsvp's.... What's the deal?

Posted by micmar

Posted by PinkSoil

I felt this way with the first couple of 'no' responses, but then I got used to it because we got so many, lol. Oh well.





Thanks for posting this, I thought I was the only one getting more 'no's' than imaginable.


We have quite a lenghty list of 'no's' and the worst part is, is we have really small families, so we only invited about 120 people.
amyandbill Posted:

Re: The 'no' responders on rsvp's.... What's the deal?

I'm with you, plain rude. At least write something like, so sorry we can't make it....It makes me feel like they shouldn't have been invited in the first place.

PinkSoil Posted:

Re: The 'no' responders on rsvp's.... What's the deal?

I have to disagree here... The RSVP card is straight to the point... Either check off 'accepts with pleasure' or 'declines with regret' (or however your respective cards were worded). The guests are doing exactly what they are supposed to do. To me, it's like a multiple choice or a True or False test... you just circle the answer, you don't have to explain why you picked it. I can understand how it would be hurtful that certain people decline, but don't take it personally... Like I said, the thing that made me sad is that we got more 'no's' than I expected.... but I wasn't insulted that people didn't put explanations... I guess to me, no means no.

February05 Posted:

Re: The 'no' responders on rsvp's.... What's the deal?

Posted by PinkSoil

I have to disagree here... The RSVP card is straight to the point... Either check off 'accepts with pleasure' or 'declines with regret' (or however your respective cards were worded). The guests are doing exactly what they are supposed to do. To me, it's like a multiple choice or a True or False test... you just circle the answer, you don't have to explain why you picked it. I can understand how it would be hurtful that certain people decline, but don't take it personally... Like I said, the thing that made me said is that we got more 'no's' than I expected.... but I wasn't insulted that people didn't put explanations... I guess to me, no means no.


well said

i still always write sorry we cant make it, or soemthing to that effect... but i wouldnt expect everyone to supply me w/ an explanation of why they cant come
micmar Posted:

Re: The 'no' responders on rsvp's.... What's the deal?

Posted by Ang&Rich
I think of all of the things I have done for them and then wonder why they wouldn't want to celebrate with us. But see....I get all worked up when I shouldn't...just can't help it.





I feel the EXACT same way!! There is a friend of mine who I always go see play in a band out, FH & I always make an effort to go out & support them & you would think he would rearrange his 'other plans' for that night. And I know it's not a money issue for them. I just felt a bit offended by his no reply. And another good friend who I see almost EVERYDAY of my life didn't go to my shower and is not going to my wedding - again, no explanation, nothing. So it's hard not to take it personally.....
pinkstar025 Posted:

Re: The 'no' responders on rsvp's.... What's the deal?

Don't feel bad..i cried yesterday when i got our fist NO...and it was the BM's uncle..who we invited as a courtesy.......
Its just sad thinking someone doesnt want to be at your wedding...i undersand..i'm sure there's a reason and your cousin will give it to you soon enough

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