THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!

How important is your friendship w/her?
Why don't you ask her what her intentions are? Is her heart in it? And base decision on that.....


My BM was acting up when it came time to pay for my Bridal Shower, but the other girls fixed her good. I'm not suppossed to know, so I didnt say anything, but I will know not to bend over backwards for her in the future.

This is oddd comming from me.

But do you know if something is up in her life?

My MOH has more drama then most people alive so I cut her alot of slack..

Why not ask her if she is ok!

She was there when my daughter was born. She is my sorority sister. She's a few mcnuggets short of a happy meal, but I still love her. I hate to say it but, she may be a little jealous. I asked a mutual friend of ours if she's ok . . . and SHE'S OK. There's no drama going on on her side. OH GOD! How do you kick someone out of your wedding??

**BTW...share your respective 'MY BM STINKS' story if you have one. I'd love to hear your stories!**

I had a VERY similar situation with one of my BM's. I never got to talking to her about it b/c she came around after I posted info about it on this site. Ironically...
She has alot on her plate. Which I understand. But you have to learn to juggle your family life, with your social and work life. Some people just can't handle it sometimes...

OMG -- I just have to tell you that the look on FH's face when he saw the title of this thread was the funniest thing I have ever seen!!!

YOU KNOW WHAT?? NOW THAT I LOOK AT IT, MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE HAD A BETTER CHOICE OF WORDS!!!

..MY BM STINKS . . .



Oh boy!!!

Ok..I'll share.

I got engaged in July, and I told my best friend the next day. After that I hardly heard from her. Our contact has never been the greatest, but she has always been there for me, and I for her. Or so I thought. After a few months of trying to contact her, I got this e-mail from her, saying she 'could not spare the time' for my BP, and had to decline being in the wedding, but she still wanted to come to the wedding. So, I called her on it. What happened on the phone was not pretty. She basically told me that because I was not at her daughters christening (I was out of Town with my FI, plus she had only given me a WEEKS notice) that she felt I was not worth the trouble.

I was SHOCKED. I could NOT believe she was saying this to me. So I basically said, 'This is a get-back-at-me thing' She said , 'No, I just think it is time I said my peace.'

This was back in December. I have not spoken to her since. I have heard from other people that she is having a hard time with her husband, but why not come to a friend instead of shoving one away?

I was SO hurt. I had been in her BP, had spent money that I did not have, and doted on her when she needed it. I had thought that she was going to do the same for me.

I guess in the end, you know who your true friends are.

Wow Drmn....

Thanks for sharing...Your story is SO similiar to mine! Now that we're outta college and have our own lives, communication hasn't been spectacular - - but with the convenience of e-mail, you figure it's effortless to drop a line here or there.

But you are SO right! In the end, you DO find out who your true friends are. So sad.

HEY RONNIE& THERESA!!

I WOULD ask her if something was wrong if she would call me back!!!!!!!!!! LOL!

I had something similar with a BM. A couple of months ago I was feeling as if one of my BM's didn't really care that she was in the wedding party. She didn't seem as if she wanted to go out of her way to do things-she was the only one who couldn't come to see me try on the dress and she couldn't even make it to try on her own dress. I started to get very upset about it and when I was venting to my mother she advised me that I try not to let it bother me and to come to the realization that this is how it was going to be with this girl and even me talking to her was not going to change much.

I would advise you as my mother advised me-if you are willing to let your friendship die, then you should ask her to no longer be a part of your day. However, if you still want to be friends with this girl, I would say you just have to deal with it and maybe lower your expectations of her. That's what I did and it's really helped me a lot. Good Luck!!

What a good thread

I am in a similar situation.

My FH asked me to have his first cousin in my bridal party whom I see alot but do not hang out with as a friend but she is like a sister to him and it was important to him so I asked her.

Just me asking her wasnt good enough, she actually responded to an email about going dress shopping that she didnt really think I ever officially asked her, ok maybe i didnt do the whole card thing but FH was in the room, i did! Maybe I wasnt clear enough so i had to basically beg her after not even really wanting her in the bridal party anyway but I did it.

Now a close friend who isnt in the bridal party offered to plan my bachelorettte party with me and emailed everyone and everyone responded but her so my friend wrote her an email saying 'if I dont hear from you I guess we will have to assume you cant make it' which I guess was a little harsh but not too bad when I read it and my Bm responds back this whole long email that my friend is rude and se doesnt appreciate recieving emails like that when she doesnt even know her and send me a copy, i guess to to stres me out!

So i responded back to her that my friend is jsut harmless and that she was getting frustrated and not to take offense and i hoped that wasnt the reason why she wasnt coming.......

This was last week and I have yet to recieve an email phone call...nothing!

I mean god, you start a fight with my friend and let me see that and as a BM respond no to coming to the bachelorette party and dont even call the bride with an explanation??

Another on of my Bms who couldnt make it called me and we discussed going into the city just me and her to see a play since she wouldnt be able to make it, which I thought was very nice.

I am at wits end with FH cousin, she isnt even my friend!!

Sorry so long

Tara,

Do you ever get the feeling that some people just can't be happy for you no matter what? I just can't imagine acting the way that some people act regarding one of the most important days of someone's life. Some of the behaviors mentioned here are just plain immature, irresponsible, and downright rude.

those are some painful stories, so sad.

I agree with Jenn about the advice her mother gave her, sounds like my mom.

I am often baffled with the strange behavior that people exhibit when it comes to weddings, BP's etc... as drmn stories recounted her problem it seems that it is not the wedding or being in the BP it is something else and people just start acting up around wedding time??

I really think that some people wait til things in their friends lives are going good, and then dump on them. I don't know if it is out of unhappiness, or what. All I know, is that is makes me sad.

Today must be BM bashing day.

i had a huge fight with one of mine this morning.

I agree with R&T you should ask her whats wrong. She may have a lot going on and doesnt want to burden you or bring you down because she has a lot going on.

She'll come around