Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
Chippa!! What happened?
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THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
Original post by radiostar
Although I continously call and e-mail her, she won't respond. I'm really trying not to be a pain, I just want to make sure that the lines of communication are always open. Maybe I should kick her out and save myself a headache.
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
Saturday me, my mom and a few of my girls are going to look at dresses. My one BM Jessica agreed to be there. This was planned from over 1 month ago.
Today she tells me that she has physical therapy and she is there for 3 hours and she just isnt sure if she is going to be able to come on saturday.
i told he i need to know i am going to be running around and i just dont have the time to wait for a call from her letting me know if she is attending.
So she emails me back saying well then fine i am not going.
A huge fight broke out. I told her she knew about this for over a month. I know she has PT every saturday but for one saturday she could have told her therapist no i cant stay for 3 hours i can only stay for 1 and she just blew off saturday shopping like it was just any old day of the week.
All day I was calling FI and yelling at him at how his cousin is so unreliable and he better talk to her because if he doesnt i am going to kick her out.
i finally calmed down and just told her fine we're going to be there at 1 if you feel the need to join us then do otherwise its your loss.
Today she tells me that she has physical therapy and she is there for 3 hours and she just isnt sure if she is going to be able to come on saturday.
i told he i need to know i am going to be running around and i just dont have the time to wait for a call from her letting me know if she is attending.
So she emails me back saying well then fine i am not going.
A huge fight broke out. I told her she knew about this for over a month. I know she has PT every saturday but for one saturday she could have told her therapist no i cant stay for 3 hours i can only stay for 1 and she just blew off saturday shopping like it was just any old day of the week.
All day I was calling FI and yelling at him at how his cousin is so unreliable and he better talk to her because if he doesnt i am going to kick her out.
i finally calmed down and just told her fine we're going to be there at 1 if you feel the need to join us then do otherwise its your loss.
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
WOW. Just when I think that I'm the only one going through some sort of drama, I come to this board, my circle of strength, and somehow feel comforted in knowing that I'm not the only one. I love you guys. . . . 
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
I know the feeling. These girls are my strength.
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
I think a lot of us (me included) get so excited when we get engaged that we ask too many people to be in our BP. We want everyone to share in the big day. Then there are the jealous BMs, or the BMs who just don't want to really do much for the wedding. I always say to speak to your friends personally, not just e-mail. Sometimes we have so much planning and going on that we forget others have non-wedding lifes.
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
Michelle is right, i forget that everyone has lives besides my wedding. I get so caught up in all this wedding stuff I forget that everyone has lives
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
I asked my best friend to be my MOH because she is really like family to me, my mother, & sister, I couldn't imagine my day with out her. But she is worse than not involved, she has no computer, no mail(regular mail), & no phone. Now she had those things when I asked her but now she doesn't(except for the computer, but my mother built her on for her B-day 7 november & she just is to lazy to hook it up, it is the same issue with her phone & mail, pure laziness, nothing else is going on in her life & she fine with money). And then the Friday after New Years she went with her boyfriend to Virginia & is still NOT home!!! Oh, & she didn't even tell me she was leaving, my FH went to her house & another friend of ours was there & told him she left. She finally called me 3 weeks after she left! Then I talked to her last night (for the second time in 6 weeks!) & she says she'll be home tommorrow. Originally she was my only member of my BP(except for my sis who is 10 & is being my jr.BM), but since even before she dropped off the face of the earth another girlfriend started helping me with everything, so now I am having 2 MOH. I have always know that my best friend was irresponsible, but I love her & want her there with me no matter what. But my other girlfriend has be come my rock through out wedding planning so I need her there too!
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
Whenever things start to get to me regarding the wedding (BM or MY MOM!!!), I just follow Bridgit Jones' advise: 'Detach!' When I can do it, it really helps.
My best friend (a girl I have known since birth and for 20 years was more like a very close sister to me) has had the oddest reaction to my engagement. It's exactly the same reaction one would have if their 15 year old cousin said, 'I'm getting married.' Basically that I'm WAY too young to be getting married. Well, we're 27, so I find her reaction really strange and somewhat offensive....
My best friend (a girl I have known since birth and for 20 years was more like a very close sister to me) has had the oddest reaction to my engagement. It's exactly the same reaction one would have if their 15 year old cousin said, 'I'm getting married.' Basically that I'm WAY too young to be getting married. Well, we're 27, so I find her reaction really strange and somewhat offensive....
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
I made my cousin 'Z' a BM but its my own fault for ensuing the drama cuz I didn't wanna do so in 1st place. I made her sister our Matron of honor & she said if I didn't ask Z to do something also, she'd be hurt.
I'd asked all the girls as of June 02 to be in BP. I told Z she'd be a BM, she seemed to have no problem w/that back in June.
FF to Jan., when she calls me up & said she felt if her sis was Matron, she should've at least been Maid.![]()
Her sis is matron cuz she's MARRIED
So I asked if she'd been drinking cuz this was 1st I'd heard of her being upset about being BM & thought maybe she'd had 1 too many, it was so outta the blue. In retrospect guess that was kinda foul, she's my cuz & I love her but we're not best friends, never have been never will be & I really have no clue why'd she'd EVER think she'd be my maid of honor! She then declared that she is the 'Head BM' out of the 3 BMs. Whatever man.
So last weekend we tried to get our BP together so they could meet each other before the wedding & get a little acquainted, plus I wanted the girls opinions on their dresses. I called her last Thurs. to remind her, Z said she'd be there. On Sat. nite when only 3 BP members showed (Maid OH, Best Man & 1 BM - there are 10 in BP; 3 outta town) we were a little upset needless to say mostly cuz we'd spent $ to feed them & most didn't even call.
So when I called this cousin, she says 'Oh I forgot!' then says 'Why didn't you call to remind me?!!![]()
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but yet she wanted to be MOH AND says she's the Head BM but she can't remember a convo we had 48hrs earlier??? YEAH OK!! So I dunno what to make of this, but I'm gonna assume from this point on I can't count on her for anything & if she drops out, so be it. - sorry so long but felt good to get that out!
I'd asked all the girls as of June 02 to be in BP. I told Z she'd be a BM, she seemed to have no problem w/that back in June.
FF to Jan., when she calls me up & said she felt if her sis was Matron, she should've at least been Maid.
So I asked if she'd been drinking cuz this was 1st I'd heard of her being upset about being BM & thought maybe she'd had 1 too many, it was so outta the blue. In retrospect guess that was kinda foul, she's my cuz & I love her but we're not best friends, never have been never will be & I really have no clue why'd she'd EVER think she'd be my maid of honor! She then declared that she is the 'Head BM' out of the 3 BMs. Whatever man.
So last weekend we tried to get our BP together so they could meet each other before the wedding & get a little acquainted, plus I wanted the girls opinions on their dresses. I called her last Thurs. to remind her, Z said she'd be there. On Sat. nite when only 3 BP members showed (Maid OH, Best Man & 1 BM - there are 10 in BP; 3 outta town) we were a little upset needless to say mostly cuz we'd spent $ to feed them & most didn't even call.
So when I called this cousin, she says 'Oh I forgot!' then says 'Why didn't you call to remind me?!!
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
Everyday I debate if I should call and give a choice to one of my bridemaids if she will be there or now.
Her parents are loaded, and she has always been self centered. It never really bothered me because whatever you parents did for her, I knew she didn't appreciate so I knew she had issues. In 08/2000, I went down to Florida to be her maid of honor. I also had a wedding in NY for my best guy friend that I had missed, and I because I was in her Bridal Party, I could not turn around and say no. Her parents threw her a 400+ person wedding, and when she got back from her honeymoon, she found out her DH had been layed off. She has not been the same since. Xanax, Zoloft, Paxil and Prozac later, she is still having a hard time living without her parents money. After she came back from her honeymoon, I did not hear from her until Christmas! I was furious. This wedding had cost me over $1500 with transporation, gift, dress, bachelorette party, etc...she explained the situation, and I patiently waited for a thank you card. Christmas 2001, it finally showed up!!!!
I was shocked. Anyway, when I got engaged, of course I called her right away. She said she wouldn't miss my wedding for the world. I have left countless messages in the last few months, her DH swears she is still spazzing out, and if I ever get her on the phone, I am wholeheartingly unasking her to be my bridesmaid. She has a poor me complex feeling that she has gone from rich to broke overnight, and I don't need her to come to me a week before the wedding declaring she can't afford it. If she cared, I would have heard from her by now.
Her parents are loaded, and she has always been self centered. It never really bothered me because whatever you parents did for her, I knew she didn't appreciate so I knew she had issues. In 08/2000, I went down to Florida to be her maid of honor. I also had a wedding in NY for my best guy friend that I had missed, and I because I was in her Bridal Party, I could not turn around and say no. Her parents threw her a 400+ person wedding, and when she got back from her honeymoon, she found out her DH had been layed off. She has not been the same since. Xanax, Zoloft, Paxil and Prozac later, she is still having a hard time living without her parents money. After she came back from her honeymoon, I did not hear from her until Christmas! I was furious. This wedding had cost me over $1500 with transporation, gift, dress, bachelorette party, etc...she explained the situation, and I patiently waited for a thank you card. Christmas 2001, it finally showed up!!!!
I was shocked. Anyway, when I got engaged, of course I called her right away. She said she wouldn't miss my wedding for the world. I have left countless messages in the last few months, her DH swears she is still spazzing out, and if I ever get her on the phone, I am wholeheartingly unasking her to be my bridesmaid. She has a poor me complex feeling that she has gone from rich to broke overnight, and I don't need her to come to me a week before the wedding declaring she can't afford it. If she cared, I would have heard from her by now.
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
Well, even though my wedding is over, I thought I'd chime in. I asked one of my oldest friends to be my MOH. Knowing that she lives out of state, I didn't actually expect her to do much as far as legwork or planning, but I was fine with that. This is when it started to get to me: My mother tried to get in touch with her, just to talk about the shower. She never called her back. When the shower invitations went out, she never even RSVP'd (obviously, she didn't make it to the shower). Finally, at the wedding, I looked around, and couldn't even find her --she left my wedding in the middle (not even middle, more like early reception). And I still havent heard the explanation why.
I have tried to make peace with it since the wedding, we've spoken a couple of times, but I doubt we'll ever be as good friends as we were.
But I have to add that the rest of my BM's were fabulous, many were out of towners and did all they could to be there for me despite the distance.
I have tried to make peace with it since the wedding, we've spoken a couple of times, but I doubt we'll ever be as good friends as we were.
But I have to add that the rest of my BM's were fabulous, many were out of towners and did all they could to be there for me despite the distance.
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
I have this friend who I was close with for almost my entire relationship with Ronnie.
We even went to Miami together..
She couldn't be happy for me. She wanted to do 'IT' first in so many words..
SO you know what I cut the girl off. I have nothing to say to her. She isn't even invited to my e party.
Who needs people like that in my life. Not me..
I want happy loving people....
We even went to Miami together..
She couldn't be happy for me. She wanted to do 'IT' first in so many words..
SO you know what I cut the girl off. I have nothing to say to her. She isn't even invited to my e party.
Who needs people like that in my life. Not me..
I want happy loving people....
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
This did not happen to me, but to my best friend.
A friend of ours, who we have been friends with since 5th grade, was asked to be in the bridal party. She was upset that she was not the MOH, but since she was extremely unreliable, lived on the other side of the island, and had no car she was not chosen. So she says to my friend, 'are you sure you want to do this?' Then when we go to get the dresses, there is always an excuse she can't go and then one day we pick her up on the other side of the island, go to david's bridal and she didn't bring any money with her to buy it, she thought we were just going to visit it, I guess since all of the other BM had ordered theirs. Finally another trip to Davids another week, and she doesn't have enough money, so the bride lends her the $35 extra. Then she can't show up to the Bachlorette Party becaseu she is sick, which it is so hard to tell if she is or she isn't becasue she constantly lies. Then at the wedding she tells another BM that she slept with the groom. Yes she really did say that!!!!
She went around telling all of the bride's family that this should have been her, blah blah bal, and basicaly maiking a cioplete fool or herself, besides thee fact that she was doing drugs in the bathroom with a guy and other things (wink wink). So another BM tells the groom, and he winds up tell the bride after the wededing is over. He of course never slept with her, the bride and groom were together for 10 years before getting married. And to top off the whole story 3 weeks later she was in the hospital having a child premature. So needless to say, I will not be inviting this supposed 'friend' to my wedding because my FH banned her.
A friend of ours, who we have been friends with since 5th grade, was asked to be in the bridal party. She was upset that she was not the MOH, but since she was extremely unreliable, lived on the other side of the island, and had no car she was not chosen. So she says to my friend, 'are you sure you want to do this?' Then when we go to get the dresses, there is always an excuse she can't go and then one day we pick her up on the other side of the island, go to david's bridal and she didn't bring any money with her to buy it, she thought we were just going to visit it, I guess since all of the other BM had ordered theirs. Finally another trip to Davids another week, and she doesn't have enough money, so the bride lends her the $35 extra. Then she can't show up to the Bachlorette Party becaseu she is sick, which it is so hard to tell if she is or she isn't becasue she constantly lies. Then at the wedding she tells another BM that she slept with the groom. Yes she really did say that!!!!
She went around telling all of the bride's family that this should have been her, blah blah bal, and basicaly maiking a cioplete fool or herself, besides thee fact that she was doing drugs in the bathroom with a guy and other things (wink wink). So another BM tells the groom, and he winds up tell the bride after the wededing is over. He of course never slept with her, the bride and groom were together for 10 years before getting married. And to top off the whole story 3 weeks later she was in the hospital having a child premature. So needless to say, I will not be inviting this supposed 'friend' to my wedding because my FH banned her.
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
We all have some type of BM horror story and its good to know we are all not alone. This is my support group, my therapy, my strength and I am glad no matter what wedding troubles I may face or anyone else may face, we're not facing them alone.
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
Shelzyp, ![]()
OMG! That is just...I don't know...the stuff bad soap operas are made of!!
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
My advice is avoid an even more stressful situation on your wedding day by nipping this in the bud and confront her. Ask her if she truly is happy being a BM and listen to what she has to say. I had this discussion with one of my BMs and we are still very good friends even if she opted out of being in my BP. My attitude is that if they are not happy to be in the BP, then they should not be in it because the last thing you need is a 'sourpuss' to dampen your special day.
Good luck...
Karen
Good luck...
Karen
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
Becasue of this drama and the fact that she was invited to my christmas party, and said to a friend that she can't stand my FH and that he is a ****, means she won't be invited to my wedding. The sad part is that I feel bad for not inviting her! But the other side is that I am relized that he banned her, so that I won't hav to dela with the drama, becasue I would not handle it weel, I would probably fling her form the reception by her hair, and wouldn't that look lovely on the video.
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
I do not have any horror stories to share because I took the easy way out.
I am very fortunate to still have the same friends from Junior high- High School. There are 7 of us. I love them to death. I still cannot believe that we still are friends. Alot of people could not even pick their high school friends out of a line up.
Getting to the point- I could have asked these girls to be in my bridal party- right? no wrong.
These girls are ALWAYS late, a few of them are very picky and cheap. They would have drove me crazy had I asked them to be in my BP, I know this. So i just decided to have my sister as MOH.
I am happy and my friendships are still in tact.
I am very fortunate to still have the same friends from Junior high- High School. There are 7 of us. I love them to death. I still cannot believe that we still are friends. Alot of people could not even pick their high school friends out of a line up.
Getting to the point- I could have asked these girls to be in my bridal party- right? no wrong.
These girls are ALWAYS late, a few of them are very picky and cheap. They would have drove me crazy had I asked them to be in my BP, I know this. So i just decided to have my sister as MOH.
I am happy and my friendships are still in tact.
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
I just don't get this whole thing. There are SO many people with horror stories about their BP's. Is it the fact that so people are very catty, or do they really have no regard for their friends feelings? I just find this so sad. This should be a happy time for all brides, and it manages to get messed up by these uncaring, self-centered people. ![]()
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Re: THE OFFICIAL 'MY BM STINKS' THREAD..C'mon in!
Radiostar...yes, what an interesting choice of words for this thread! Too funny! ![]()
So far I haven't had too much agony with the BMs except for pulling teeth with one to get her dress order in and trying to explain to another why she can't randomly invite guests besides her bubby. But, otherwise, so far so good. Crossing my fingers...!!
So far I haven't had too much agony with the BMs except for pulling teeth with one to get her dress order in and trying to explain to another why she can't randomly invite guests besides her bubby. But, otherwise, so far so good. Crossing my fingers...!!
