IF YOU CHOOSE TO WEAR SANDALS THIS SUMMER YOU MUST SWEAR TO THIS
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Raise your big toes and repeat after me:
As a member of the 'Sandal Sisterhood,' I pledge to follow these rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes...
1. I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will NOT hang over and touch the ground.
2. I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh and chip-free. I will cheat and only touch up my big toe if that is all that shows.
3. I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn crusty, crack, or turn yellow.
4. I will shave the hairs off of my big toe! (Just do it, it doesn't hurt!)
5. I will NOT wear pantyhose with my sandals, even if my girlfriend, co-worker, mother or sister tell me the toes seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it under.
6. If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue, or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put (because it never does!)
7. I will not live in corn denial. I will call on my good friend 'Dr. Scholls' if my feet need him.
8. I will resist the urge to by Jelly Dhoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99. I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle from wearing cheap, plastic shoes.
9. I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day so my toes won't swell and look like Vienna sausages.
10. I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend, sister, and/or coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as fingers and no sandal makes crappy feet look good.
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