The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

Original post by dfw343

May 14, 2009 12:41 PM

My Father is terminally ill with pancreatic cancer. I think he will fade fast. He basically is. He got a little sick right after I got engaged.

I waited until 39 to meet the right guy and got engaged right at 41. I was estatic to find the perfect guy who has the most adorable and loving children (I am going to be a Step Mom..how exciting!).

It is ruining the happiest moment of my life along with the worry of my Mother who this is killing. I will not be given away by my Father whom I adore and has suffered so much in his childhood (he is one of the last Holocaust survivors).

I guess I am posting this because I need prayers and I will have many questions to past brides that may be lurking or anyone who can give advice on some things I should do.

Like, how do I word my invites now, how do I add stuff to ceremony, who is proper in giving me away etc...

I just pray my Father has no pain and my Mother will live through this.

It seems like life is unfair all around...

shelbylove918 Posted: May 14, 2009 01:13 PM

Re: The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

so sorry to hear..

dfw343 Posted: May 14, 2009 01:30 PM

Re: The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

Posted by AdriandSteve

So sorry to hear this.

My father passed away from lung cancer when i was... 12, 13? I dont really remember anymore.

This is how i am wording my invitations.

You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of

Adriana Lee
daughter of Peter J. & Diana Lee S.

to Steven Edward
son of Bruce W. and Cecelia W.

on blah blah blah.

Fh's father passed away and and his parents are divorced and his dad remarried (which is why i put his mom's full name separate from his dad's)

No matter what, you are, and will always be your fathers daughter.

oh.. duh i'll respond to the rest of your question.

In my situation my uncle will be giving me away. (if something happens to my uncle god forbid because he is much much older, then i will have my great uncle. If not him my godfather, and if not him then it will be my mom)

I see you mentioned that your father is a survivor of the holocaust so it might be wrong, but i am going to assume you are jewish so i'm not sure how things would be incorporated since i never attended a jewish ceremony. However, you can buy a bo-k charm and put a picture of your rather in it and carry it in your bo-k so he will still be there with you when you walk down the aisle.

Some people have also placed a single white rose on the chair next to the spouse.

hmm.. what else.

Some people have the memory candle they use for the ceremony with them at the reception hall as well. It's a little morbid imo but i've see people leave a place setting empty at a separate table too.

My prayers are def with u during this time.

Thanks for this advice and the kind words of everyone.
I cannot make a small ceremony, he is bed ridden already...this cancer works FAST.

Lsorrent Posted: May 14, 2009 01:32 PM

Re: The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

TessMike621 Posted: May 14, 2009 01:37 PM

Re: The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

i am so sorry, my prayers go out to you and your family

jcreilly Posted: May 14, 2009 01:37 PM

Re: The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

I am so sorry i lost my aunt to pancreatic cancer in 2003 and was really close to her its very hard for me to realize that she will not be at my wedding ( IM crying now LOL) my mother and talked about it last month how she would have taken over the planning and done everything she was great!! My prayers are with you and your family! Maybe you can have just have the ceremony at the church with just you and immediate family now and still do the BIg day when you plan in 2010 and then your dad can walk you down and be there with you when you two take your vows. I know it will not be the same but its just an idea!

Ednkim4eva Posted: May 14, 2009 01:40 PM

Re: The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

I'm so sorry to hear this...my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Soon2bMrsH Posted: May 14, 2009 01:50 PM

Re: The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

omg im sooooo sorry!!!!
so sad
my thoughts and prayers are with you

jonsgirl04 Posted: May 14, 2009 01:52 PM

Re: The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

I know of a friend of someone whos father was bed ridden with lung cancer and it was his wish to see his daughter get married. They actually had the priest come and marry them right in the hospital next to the bed. 2 days later he passed. It was the most touching story I ever heard. Maybe you can do something similar.. I will pray for you and your family!! Iam so very sorry...

SummerBride10 Posted: May 14, 2009 01:52 PM

Re: The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

I'm so sorry to read this...I'll keep your family in my prayers!

AdriandSteve Posted: May 14, 2009 02:00 PM

Re: The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

Posted by jonsgirl04

I know of a friend of someone whos father was bed ridden with lung cancer and it was his wish to see his daughter get married. They actually had the priest come and marry them right in the hospital next to the bed. 2 days later he passed. It was the most touching story I ever heard. Maybe you can do something similar.. I will pray for you and your family!! Iam so very sorry...

that's so sad. I can't even imangine that.

NanandEric08 Posted: May 14, 2009 02:03 PM

Re: The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

My prayers or with you and your family. I am so sorry you are going through this.

T E R I Posted: May 14, 2009 02:04 PM

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I'm soo sorry that you are going through this right now

dfw343 Posted: May 14, 2009 02:17 PM

Re: The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

I think my Mom would freak if we did bedside ceremony.
It's OK, I made peace with him not being there.
I said and heard all of the things a girl would want to hear from her Father already. At least I got that. Some people don't get that chance.

soontobemrsag Posted: May 14, 2009 02:19 PM

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im so sorry can you move up the wedding?

MarjorieFrank Posted: May 14, 2009 02:21 PM

Re: The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

I am so sorry. This is the most horrible thing ever, and I am so sorry this is happening before your wedding. I know how important it is to have my dad present at mine to give me away. My sister's DH lost his mom five months before the wedding, it was very very tough and the wedding day was very sad. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

angel1219eyez Posted: May 14, 2009 02:22 PM

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im so sorry to hear that..i will be praying for you and your whole family!

Panamasweet Posted: May 14, 2009 02:58 PM

Re: The worst thing a bride can hear 10 months before her wedding...

I am truley sorry to hear you are going through this. I am going through a similar situation and it is extremly painful. The support that you will receive from the ladies on this site is amazing and prayer really does work....i would say walk down the isle alone. that is what i have decided to do in the event that.......