Things You Have to Believe to be a Republican Today:
Saddam Hussein was:
A good guy when Ronald Reagan armed him with nerve gas and biological
weapons.
A bad guy when George H. W. Bush made war on him
A good guy when **** Cheney did business with him during the international
embargo
A bad guy when George W. Bush needed a 'we can't find Bin Laden' diversion
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is a Communist dictatorship
Trade with China and Vietnam is right because it's vital to a spirit of
international harmony
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body
A multi-national corporation should be able to make any decisions they like
affecting all mankind without any regulation
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches
while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy
Providing health care to all Americans is evil socialism
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science
Creationism is valid science that should be taught in all schools
A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense and
a threat to American morality
A president lying about imminent threats to America's safety to create
support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy and
perfectly moral
Government should limit itself to only those powers explicitly named in the
Constitution such as:
banning gay marriage
censoring the Internet
making sure 'The Pledge of Allegiance' includes God
The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades
George Bush's cocaine conviction is none of our business
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime!
(unless you're a conservative radio host - then it's an illness you've been
afflicted with and you need our prayers for your recovery during your third
stay in rehab)
You support 'States' Rights' which means that Attorney General John Ashcroft
can tell States what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.
What Bill Clinton did in the '60s is of vital national interest
What George W. Bush did in the '60s, '70s and '80s is irrelevant.
Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other people,
we're likely to be stuck with Bush and his cronies for 4 more years.
And remember, 'Friends don't let friends vote Republican'
***courtesy of Eroxgirl
A good guy when Ronald Reagan armed him with nerve gas and biological
weapons.
A bad guy when George H. W. Bush made war on him
A good guy when **** Cheney did business with him during the international
embargo
A bad guy when George W. Bush needed a 'we can't find Bin Laden' diversion
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is a Communist dictatorship
Trade with China and Vietnam is right because it's vital to a spirit of
international harmony
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body
A multi-national corporation should be able to make any decisions they like
affecting all mankind without any regulation
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches
while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy
Providing health care to all Americans is evil socialism
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science
Creationism is valid science that should be taught in all schools
A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense and
a threat to American morality
A president lying about imminent threats to America's safety to create
support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy and
perfectly moral
Government should limit itself to only those powers explicitly named in the
Constitution such as:
banning gay marriage
censoring the Internet
making sure 'The Pledge of Allegiance' includes God
The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades
George Bush's cocaine conviction is none of our business
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime!
(unless you're a conservative radio host - then it's an illness you've been
afflicted with and you need our prayers for your recovery during your third
stay in rehab)
You support 'States' Rights' which means that Attorney General John Ashcroft
can tell States what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.
What Bill Clinton did in the '60s is of vital national interest
What George W. Bush did in the '60s, '70s and '80s is irrelevant.
Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other people,
we're likely to be stuck with Bush and his cronies for 4 more years.
And remember, 'Friends don't let friends vote Republican'
***courtesy of Eroxgirl
