I am sorry you are going through this. Please give yourself a little time to deal with this. Your emotions must be very raw right now. Thats the worst time to make life altering decisions. Maybe the two of you could use some premarital counseling. Just to air out the trust issue. Good Luck.
shamma
Posted:
Member since
Re: thinking about calling the wedding off
Now I might be slow, is he divorced or not??? She is preggo but not by him?? correct??? WIth this not being finalized like the ex claim, what will happen to your plans??? I think he needs to speak to an attorney. Who filed the papers?? DId he leave her or she left him??? How could he have the papers but not know if the divorce was final or not??? Did she or he not have to contact him or her??? I really hopes this all gets clarified b/c I know what it feels like to question the one you love. That is no way to live. I wish you all the best.
Scoop
Posted:
Member since
Re: thinking about calling the wedding off
It might take some time but maybe you can work things out.
fallwed03
Posted:
Member since
Re: thinking about calling the wedding off
I hope this all works out for you....
The Bit** that I am would probably try and contact the x-wife....maybe she could make you have some better understanding....
Good Luck....sooo sorry.
wenndypoo
Posted:
Member since
Re: thinking about calling the wedding off
You've gotten such wonderful advice so far, I have nothing to add, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are going through this. Hankg in there, ask for help, you will get through this.
Sassy
Posted:
Member since
Re: thinking about calling the wedding off
I am soooooo sorry to read this I think you definitely should get to the bottom of this, like when did the paperwork START. If it started years ago, and JUST got finalized now, then he may be telling somewhat the truth. If the proceedings didn't begin till this year, then he is lying.
With that said, this woman is his PAST. He is divorced, he hasn't had sex with her, and he is not the father of her child. If you have doubt on this, you may want him to take a paternity test, although I doubt she would've divorced him if they were still having relations.
You have to know how much this will affect your trust in him in the futer. I know it would affect me greatly b/c being lied to is something I cannot take and cannot forget either.
Len has done some stupid things, and I have forgiven him, but this one is hard. I have no idea what I would do in your situation, since he was not cheating on you and you knew about his marraige.
He definitely has a lot more explaining to do. Please take care of yourself and most importantly BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. HUGS
dgtlsunshine
Posted:
Member since
Re: thinking about calling the wedding off
Are you saying that the divorce is still not final and the wedding is in three months?
Sassy
Posted:
Member since
Re: thinking about calling the wedding off
The divorce got final in Feburary from what she said.
dgtlsunshine
Posted:
Member since
Re: thinking about calling the wedding off
Oh ok thanks. I thought she was saying last night he said it was not. I was gonna say that could be a problem.
Well then I would kind of believe ( I know I have a soft heart) that he just didn't tell you b/c he did not want you to worry.
As long as they are divorced.
tarakinspa
Posted:
Member since
Re: thinking about calling the wedding off
I am so sorry to hear this but again maybe this was a situation he didnt pay close enough attention to as far as making sure all the necessary things were taken care of becuase he didnt want to think about it and was preoccupied with you, just a thought but I hope things work out for you.
Ronnie&Theresa
Posted:
Member since
Re: thinking about calling the wedding off
OMG!
I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.. But..
I think TRUST rules the relationship and without that what do you have..
Talk it out and hear what he has to say!!!!
jags77
Posted:
Member since
Re: thinking about calling the wedding off
I am so sorry for what you are going through. Maybe he was just too passive about seeing that the papers got filed and went by her word only? I hope you do whatever your heart tells you to do. Whatever you decide to do, just realize that it will take a while to get over how hurt you are.
Samanthas Mom
Posted:
Member since
Re: thinking about calling the wedding off
from what I remember from school constructive abandonment has to deal w/ 'leaving the marriage' w/out physically leaving the house separate bedrooms, no sex, etc..
good luck to you, let us know what you decide im sorry you are going thru this
pschica
Posted:
Member since
Re: thinking about calling the wedding off
i am so sorry to hear about all of this....follow your heart and you will make the right decision....if you need anything, please fm me....
hang in there and we will all be here for you no matter what!
gertyrae
Posted:
Member since
Re: thinking about calling the wedding off
I just want to let you know that I feel really bad for you, and I truly hope you two can work this out. You really will have to follow your heart on this one though. Maybe he really didn't want to upset you, you would have to look at his history with you to know. Good luck and my prayers go out to you.
