Thinking about cancelling the wedding....

I'm thinking about cancelling the wedding. I just found out that my father who lives in FL isnt doing to well health wise. I feel in my heart that he will not make it to the wedding in 2011. There is no way that I would be able to walk down the isle without my father being there. I would not enjoy myself and probably cry all night. We originally thought of moving the wedding up but we cant afford to do that. My father and I are closer than white on rice. He is my best friend. I talk to him about everything and was actually going to come with me to pick my dress out. We have put down money on every major vendor and are about $3000 into this wedding already.

Do you ladies know if vendors will refund the DP? Have you ever heard of selling your contract.

why moving up the wedding won't work?
maybe u can change the date to this year even. or fly over there and have a small private ceremony with ur dad?

sorry that ur dad is going thru this

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this! I hope things turn around and your father gets through this. Stay strong, if possible!

Perhaps you can do as has been suggested and move your wedding up and have a small private ceremony. Your father wants you to be happy, and you've already determined that a lifetime committment to your FH is what will make you happy in this life. There's no way your father would want you to sacrifice that for him!

If you can, talk to your father about your options and see what he suggests and what he wants. That way, you can follow your heart and his wishes at the same time. Weddings should be a time of joy, and I'm sure that your father wants that for you, even in illness.

I'm soooooo sorry tohear about your dad.
I know money is hard to come by but sometimes the sooner the wedding the RH can play with the prices and it could be alot cheaper. I originally was ging to get married next year but got better prices for this year. My dad is sick too so I know how hard it can be. I had to hve a small wedding ...then later on when u have the money have a big anniversary renewal...thats what I plan on doing. I will say a prayer for your dad.

First off, my prayers to your dad, your family and you!

I'm SO, SO sorry to hear about this. Move the wedding up and do it on a much smaller scale? This is such a personal thing, I know that if you keep it until 2011 you will be a mess if your Dad isn't there but there is always the possiblity he will be there.

Pray on it, talk to your Dad. The answer will come to you. My prayers sweetie.

Thank you so much ladies. I appreciate your well wishes. Moving the ceremoney up cant be done because we cant afford to do that. We are already having a small wedding, 75-100 people. We have to garentee 75. All of our vendors have a substantial dep as well. i'm affriad if i move it up they wont have that date open. My FH and I have been talking about having a private ceremony in FL this year and still having our reception in 2011. I just dont know how I would get through the reception.

Please pray for my dad and my family. More importantly than the wedding loosing my dad is the worse thing ever. My mother is totally dependant on him so she would end up moving back to NY and living with us, which i totally dont mind. This is just another reason i love my FH more than anything. He called me and said you know if something were to happen with your dad we would have to take care of your mom. He said it like it was nothing. He has no problem taking care of her.

I LOVE THAT MAN!!!

Im so sorry about your dad.

So, I want you to think about something you wrote.

You said you want to cancel the wedding. Does that mean you will NEVER get married if your father does not make it?

I dont think thats what your father would want for you. To cancel your wedding. Never get married. The way you wrote your post was that you would never get married.

You have a few things to think about. Talk to your dad. See if you should move up the date. See what he thinks about you marrying the man of your dreams. You have SO much time between now and the wedding date,

I guess what im saying is life goes on. Your dad may not make it, but you will. You have to live your life!

I lost my sister to a sudden car accident. I was very close with her, like white and rice (to use your quote ) But I know she wants me to get married, be happy, live my life, have babies and honor her memory.

So, live your life. Dont postpone and KNOW its what your dad would want. He WANTS you to be happy, no matter what is going on with him.

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Posted by charondita

Thank you so much ladies. I appreciate your well wishes. Moving the ceremoney up cant be done because we cant afford to do that. We are already having a small wedding, 75-100 people. We have to garentee 75. All of our vendors have a substantial dep as well. i'm affriad if i move it up they wont have that date open. My FH and I have been talking about having a private ceremony in FL this year and still having our reception in 2011. I just dont know how I would get through the reception.

Please pray for my dad and my family. More importantly than the wedding loosing my dad is the worse thing ever. My mother is totally dependant on him so she would end up moving back to NY and living with us, which i totally dont mind. This is just another reason i love my FH more than anything. He called me and said you know if something were to happen with your dad we would have to take care of your mom. He said it like it was nothing. He has no problem taking care of her.

I LOVE THAT MAN!!!

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What a great FH. You and your family are in my thoughts.

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Posted by charondita

Thank you so much ladies. I appreciate your well wishes. Moving the ceremoney up cant be done because we cant afford to do that. We are already having a small wedding, 75-100 people. We have to garentee 75. All of our vendors have a substantial dep as well. i'm affriad if i move it up they wont have that date open. My FH and I have been talking about having a private ceremony in FL this year and still having our reception in 2011. I just dont know how I would get through the reception.

Please pray for my dad and my family. More importantly than the wedding loosing my dad is the worse thing ever. My mother is totally dependant on him so she would end up moving back to NY and living with us, which i totally dont mind. This is just another reason i love my FH more than anything. He called me and said you know if something were to happen with your dad we would have to take care of your mom. He said it like it was nothing. He has no problem taking care of her.

I LOVE THAT MAN!!!

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that is wonderful that your FH is so supportive, and i hope everything works out for the best. My mom passed away a little over a year ago, and sometimes its really hard going through wedding planning, and i feel exactly like you - how will i ever get through the reception?? but i know that my mom would want me to have that special day and to enjoy it. I thought about pushing it back, but to be honest there will never be a time in my life where it wont bother me or upset me - i think i would always face the same challenges with it. Dont rush to do anything, take some time and think about what will be best for you!

I don't have much info on the DP's. But i wanted to tell you that you are in my prayers and I know exactly what you are going through. I'm in the same situation. I haven't moved my date as of now but I did think about it. If you ever need to talk please, feel free to FM me. Also, hold on to your faith in GOD, it's the only thing that is helping me and I hope it will help you deal with your situation. I don't mean to sound too religious and I hope I don't offend you.

I am so sorry that you are going through this, and hope your father isn't suffering.

While maybe you can't do a small ceremony/reception moved up, maybe you can do a civil ceremony only in FL so your father can be there with you? And go to a restaurant after. Nothing needs to be a big fancy thing, just you marrying the man you love with the other man you love by your side.

Once again, I'm very sorry that you have to make this decision.

First so sorry you are going through this but I agree with the poster who said think about what when you would get married if you cancel. . 2011 is already 2 years away and I can't imagine that a small amount of time would make it easier to get married without your dad there. . it will probably be painful whenever you do it. . so I might consider doing a small civil ceremony. . with your dad now and and doing a reception later. . this is very common for many reasons. . and would give you the peace to know your dad was there for you and was able to see you married. . know this is not what you envisioned but try to picture getting married in 6, 7 years. . would the loss be any less and do you want to wait that long to be with your FH. ..

in the meantime you sound like you have many wonderful fabulous people in your life incl your dad and FH so and for you and your family

I am so sorry you are going through this. I think the suggestion you made is wonderful...have a small private ceremony soon and get married and then have your reception as planned in 2011. It will allow you to share the day with your Dad and still have a celebration as originally planned...and you never know your Dad may surprise you and make it until your reception.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family